You’re Engaged! Now What?

Sharon Rumsey  0:00  
Ready, set, you're engaged.

Michael Gaddie  0:03  
Congratulations. What an amazing time.

Kristina Stubblefield  0:07  
Now what are you supposed to do? Take a listen to this episode as we break down the first steps that every engaged couple needs to take. 

You're listening to The Ring The Bling And All The Things podcast. I'm Kristina Stubblefield, one of your hosts, along with my two good friends, Michael Gaddie and Sharon Rumsey. We are here to get you from down on one knee down the aisle into happily ever after our informative episodes, deliver valuable tips, trends, ideas, and advice covering everything from you saying yes to the i do's and all that happens in between and after. Now, let's get started with this episode. 

You You're engaged. Now what? Well, besides breathing, you want to breathe? That's for sure. But Mike Sharon, we have 100 tips that we could give when you get engaged. But it's an exciting time. Let's start off by saying one thing. If you are thinking about using a wedding planner, that should be your number one phone call to help guide you through that process. Would you agree Mike would definitely agree. And I know Sharon's going to agree with me. But in all honesty, why

Michael Gaddie  1:32  
you said it first. So she wouldn't say yes,

Sharon Rumsey  1:35  
she stole thunder I did.

Kristina Stubblefield  1:36  
And using a wedding planner, we could go on about how it's going to save you stress, time, energy effort, all those things. If you're going to use a wedding planner, or considering it, that should be your first phone call.

Sharon Rumsey  1:49  
If you do that, then you have that planner beside you to guide you through every other decision. So absolutely. That's your first call.

Kristina Stubblefield  1:56  
So who's gonna start they got engaged. Besides the wedding planner question, what's next to

Sharon Rumsey  2:04  
Siena, like you said there, I could give a million tips. But my number one tip is I have so many brides and grooms that come in to me with a date. This is our wedding date. We want to get married on this date. Then I say what venue Have you chosen? And they don't have one,

Kristina Stubblefield  2:19  
Mike, she's got a two fold tip. I know where she's going well,

Sharon Rumsey  2:23  
you really can't get pardon the pun married to a certain date. Unless you're going to be really flexible about your venue. Because chances are, well, the venue could be booked on that date. So if you really fall in love with a venue, you need to be a little flexible on your date, to make sure that you're able to have the venue you want by choosing a date that they're available.

Kristina Stubblefield  2:48  
And we're going to circle back around to this after we give these tips because there's a big reason why the date the venue, those kinds of things are super important. Agreed. Yes, Sharon, I know just the other day, you had an incident happen for a date. That's what 16 months, I

Sharon Rumsey  3:06  
just met with the sweetest little family and they're getting married in April of 2023. And she gave me five venues that she wanted to see. And the very next morning, I like at nine o'clock, started making calls to schedule the new tours. She had a date that she wanted. And when I called the venue's of the five, three of them were already booked for her spring 2023 date. And I mean that Sharon that a lot that even shocked me. Yeah. So once again, you know, I had to make a call to her. And I had to say we need, you know, we're going to have to flex on this date a little bit.

Kristina Stubblefield  3:47  
Okay, so my question, what was her? What was her reaction to that? Well, she surprised they're shocked. Because you were even supper I

Sharon Rumsey  3:54  
was we thought we were way ahead of the game. Wow, not. So

Kristina Stubblefield  3:58  
here. She's going thinking that she's gonna have to really decide between five different places and right, you're down to two. Wow. So don't be married to a date, right and find your venue. So that's kind of a two in one tip.

Michael Gaddie  4:13  
Well, my tip is that you should really think hard and long about who you want to invite. Because if you have 100 people that could be one venue, or if you have 200 people or 250 people that could be another venue. So if you cannot estimate how many guests you want to invite, that's going to help you choose that venue also. That's a very good

Sharon Rumsey  4:38  
tip. Yeah, cuz some venues can accommodate. Yeah,

Michael Gaddie  4:40  
I mean, if you only have 50 people, you may look at venues that don't even know you have to hold 100 people but I mean, you just got to get your number down close.

Kristina Stubblefield  4:51  
Have some kind of idea is what you're saying is are you at 100 People are you at 350 people got it kind of on

Sharon Rumsey  4:57  
that also is greatly gonna affect your budget. Sure.

Michael Gaddie  5:00  
The next thing I was gonna say, Yeah, but since we want that one,

Kristina Stubblefield  5:03  
yes, I know I made it harder. And I'm gonna go with a completely different tip. We could sit here and talk about this till, like we'd have a 24 hour podcast. But I'm gonna do something completely different. I've listened to a lot of feedback from engaged couples at wedding shows throughout the year. I feel like the couple needs to have a honest and open conversation about what they truly want. What is their dreams of that day? Now, budgets gonna play a big part in it. But I'm only allowed to give one tip in this instance, because I'm hearing a lot of outside noise. Well, I did this because of my mom. I did this because of Aunt Sue. I did this because of Betty. And so I really feel like having that conversation is so important. Right after you get engaged, whether you're getting married in two or three years down the road, or you're going to try to pull it off in a year. I think that's really important is it's your all's day. And you're all you're looking at me like you've got some say, Come on, Mike.

Michael Gaddie  6:17  
I think it I think it's really important for the couple to sit down and talk about it. But most of the time, correct me if I'm wrong, Sharon. It's really not the couple when it comes to the wedding and what they want. It's usually in you're looking at me strange, but it's usually what she wants. And I say that because you said

Kristina Stubblefield  6:39  
to have a conversation. I

Michael Gaddie  6:40  
know. I know. Listen, I know. I didn't

Kristina Stubblefield  6:42  
say run with your own ideas.

Michael Gaddie  6:45  
But normally, when it comes to your traditional bride and groom, the groom is going to say, Honey, whatever you want.

Kristina Stubblefield  6:51  
Well, in my book, bride bride groom, groom, it doesn't matter. Love is love, have a conversation to figure out what you all want out of your day. And then if one person takes over and runs what their ideas, so be it, but at least you try man sister, Amy, get it. Sharon, come on, you're being quiet over there.

Sharon Rumsey  7:11  
I think my recommendation I do agree with Mike 90% of the time. It's the vote that counts is wearing the white dress. I say that all the time. But

Kristina Stubblefield  7:22  
well, you say white dress, but I've seen light pink dresses. I've seen other color dresses. That's true. I've seen.

Michael Gaddie  7:28  
I've seen suits too. So what

Kristina Stubblefield  7:32  
jump in and share on the waters more Mike is they keep

Sharon Rumsey  7:35  
telling me to jump in. But then they don't let me talk. But what what I what I try to do is I do a little triage when I meet with my couples, and we go through each element of the wedding music, food, floral, what jumps out as the most important thing to that person. So to Grimms most of the time it's going to be music, it's going to be food, let them have the most input on that. And then the other member of the couple can decide everything else.

Kristina Stubblefield  8:07  
Okay, so now you're making me want to go back and clarify. Here is what I meant by my tip. Do you all want to have an inside wedding or outside wedding? Are you wanting rustic? Are you going to get married at a church? You know, is it something that you want more of a backyard type thing or a big production? I should have clarified, I apologize about that. I wasn't trying to make all the executive decisions right after they got engaged. But kind of I don't want to say theme, but what kind of vision, you know, again, most of the time the bride is is going to win out in some of those decisions or traditionally speaking.

Sharon Rumsey  8:47  
Well, and I think a lot of the time, you know, I always tell my couples, the bride I met with the other day that we were just talking about she had only been engaged for two weeks. And I used to tell couples, you know, take a beat, enjoy being engaged. You've got plenty of time. And now while I still believe that's important that they enjoy being engaged. I'm getting scared about things getting booked up. So

Kristina Stubblefield  9:12  
like, especially set on some Yes 100% Well, you've got favorite vendors, yes. Or somebody has done two or three of your friends and you know you want to use them. It really

Michael Gaddie  9:23  
doesn't matter who it is or what it is or what organization or whatever it you when you after you get engaged. Sit down, make a list of who you need to talk to and call them right away. It doesn't matter if it's just a family baker or bakery or whatever florist whoever it may be. Do not wait Do not hesitate. Don't put it off for six months because you may be putting your wedding now for six more months if you wait and like

Sharon Rumsey  9:53  
we said if you're gonna hire a wedding planner, let you know get your get your money's worth out of that hire our wedding planners job is to guide you through your vendor selection and your your planning. So, you know, don't don't go get all your vendors and then hire a wedding planner that says my grandpa was say that's bass ackwards. So you want to make sure that we're taught always

Michael Gaddie  10:13  
says my driver says that's like wiping before you poop.

Sharon Rumsey  10:20  
Okay, we both just got fired.

Kristina Stubblefield  10:23  
So I knew that this topic would come up. And, of course, we cannot say what do you do right after you get engaged? Oh, boy, oh, boy,

Sharon Rumsey  10:33  
get your ducks in a row. That's another get your

Kristina Stubblefield  10:35  
ducks in a row. But the B word. Without question. You've got to have those hard conversations. And it is so important to figure out who's paying for what what is your budget, do you have 10,000 to spend or 100,000 to spend or more, figure that out, so you're not disappointed along the way. Because like most things, pricing is going up. It's not going down. Go back, you first of all, you need to binge listen to a bunch of our episodes, I would definitely say the one about budgeting A B word. The other one that we hear a lot from people is the F word and the A team. But honestly, all of our previous episodes were done for a reason. So going back, make sure we're on your favorite playlist. And maybe tell your mom about the podcast, tell your maid of honor, or best demand, there is information inside each episode to help you in the process. So after you're engaged, make sure you add the ring, the bling and all the things your favorite playlist. In all honesty, you should be able to enjoy it. It's a fun time, an exciting time. But the whole reason that we brought this topic up and wanted to you know, as we're off to the start of a new year, you know, it is important to talk about the statistic. It's been discussed a lot with wedding professionals. But it also affects engaged couples, their family, their friends, it does it is going to affect everyone. Also, it's going to affect corporate events, not just weddings. But if you have not heard they're talking about an estimated a 2.5 million weddings in 2022. And that is the most weddings the US has seen since 1984. You said it before we record now know what was going on 1984.

Sharon Rumsey  12:34  
I don't know what happened in 1984. But I'm telling you, I mean Mike has tons more experience than me. So he would be better to ask but I I've never seen anything like this.

Michael Gaddie  12:45  
Honestly, I haven't either. And and just saying this on a soft note. We have done like you said a minute ago 355 days a year in this wedding season has went on and on and on.

Kristina Stubblefield  12:59  
And we were still in a pandemic Exactly.

Michael Gaddie  13:02  
Well, I mean, now planning for 2022 and 2023. We have worked and I don't want to belittle this subject, but we have worked so hard. It may be even harder to book of it to book a vendor, because they're going to limit their self of what they can do because they have been working. So

Sharon Rumsey  13:25  
I feel like if nothing else, and I'm just speaking for me, but 2021 You know, I was already completely booked. Then I had nine brides that I had to push into 21 from 2020. And I did more weddings this year than I've ever done and into it has pushed me to my limit. And it has taught me my limit. Exactly. And I think a lot of wedding vendors are feeling that way. We we now know that we can't do everything.

Kristina Stubblefield  13:55  
He and I have said yes. A lot of that. During the pandemic, whether you felt sorry for people you just wanted to help out. business had been slow business had been at a standstill. Yes, yes. Yes. That brought new awareness to work life balance. And I don't even like saying work life balance for wedding professionals. It's the truth. It's really finding that harmony between the two. And Sharon. Mike, I think you bring up great points because I feel like wedding vendors are going to really need to limit themselves. If not, I don't know that they'll be around.

Michael Gaddie  14:31  
Well, this is the thing. You know, we we average around 200 weddings a year. This year for 22. We almost hit 300. So we have the way I'm looking at my life in the future. And other vendors all think a look like this. Look at it this way too, is we do not want to get to the point where we don't give good service.

Kristina Stubblefield  14:54  
You love what you do and you don't want that to change. Exactly. It was a struggle. It

Michael Gaddie  14:58  
was a struggle and it's Because and you've taught me this, Christina, you have to learn to say no. And, honestly, you hate to say no. But I don't want to disappoint the clients that I've already got booked at a limit that I can handle per week.

Sharon Rumsey  15:16  
Well, when I show up on wedding day, when I show up wedding day morning, I always try to remind myself, I might do this all the time. But for this couple, this is this is their once in a lifetime day. They deserve 115% of me, the very, very best Sharon that can walk in the door needs to walk in the door. And if I am exhausted, and I'm trying to do more than I should, I can't promise that that's exactly right. Hi, I will never change that I believe they deserve the best of me. So in order to do that, like Mike just said, I have limited the number of weddings I'll take for next year.

Kristina Stubblefield  15:58  
And I'm the reason I'm bringing this up is for those listening, I work with a lot of wedding professionals. And a lot of times it's trying to figure out systems and processes to make things easier to make them be able to run more efficiently. So they can provide the best service possible. It's not necessarily about making more money, providing the best service. And a lot of wedding professionals have a referral base. If you've been doing this, you're referred from other people that you've done, and you hate to say no. But it is figuring out that balance, where you still love what you do, you still have time for your family, your friends, because at the end of the day, wedding professionals are also human beings. They're just like the rest of us. But they're an expert in their field. That's why you hire them. In the whole reason about doing this podcast was providing education, good information, tips from other wedding professionals, not just from us. And I feel like this is something that needed to be discussed. Because engaged couples need to know the whole picture of what's going on. I'm not asking you to peek inside of a wedding professionals business. But just realize, as you are getting engaged, this statistic, and what is on the horizon could possibly row from year to year, things are changing, things

Michael Gaddie  17:15  
have changed more this year. In the last 3030 years, I have been in business

Kristina Stubblefield  17:20  
and you can make the best decisions if you have the information. And that's what I love about what we do is you might not like to hear it. It might not be what you wanted to hear. But we're trying to bring the very best information for those couples, their family, friends can enjoy that special day and they can have their dreams become a reality. And I think with all the information, they can make better decisions quicker, maybe decisions, like you mentioned. Yes, you should enjoy it. But you need to know what what you're dealing with.

Sharon Rumsey  17:52  
Right? I mean, certainly don't let any of this steal your joy. I mean, there's been so much in the last year and a half. That has still joy from us. I mean, so so

Kristina Stubblefield  18:02  
much. This isn't that's 10 other episodes. Yeah, yeah,

Sharon Rumsey  18:05  
this is an amazing time, take a little beat a little baby be enjoy it, then get someone you trust, you know, a wedding planner, or just a professional that knows what they're doing. Let them do their job. If there's a vendor you absolutely are in love with. And you want that person column column say, Hey, I don't have a dress yet. I don't know my colors. But I know I want you at my wedding put me on your book.

Kristina Stubblefield  18:31  
The other thing is you don't even necessarily have to have a date. You don't if you know, well, maybe you need to maybe now you're more referring to a season, right? Because if there is a vendor, you know, 1,000% you want to use, you're probably going to need to see what their availability is. Right? And that's an important part of it. If you're dead set on something. Yeah, definitely. And that, and that's a change because it used to be because before, this is the guess exact date, I'm going to get married. And now I'm going to call my favorite vendors and there, I'm going to get on their books. Change is not always easy. And that's something to be aware of. And Sharon, when you started this off, I think you said it the best to summarize this. Don't be married to a date.

Michael Gaddie  19:18  
Correct. That's number one, number one, and be

Sharon Rumsey  19:21  
flexible

Kristina Stubblefield  19:22  
and maybe not be married to a venue. I mean, there are some that that have them because of certain reasons, and that's great. But depends on your timeframe for getting married.

Sharon Rumsey  19:33  
Right. Then if you're flexible, you know be open to a Friday the open. You know

Kristina Stubblefield  19:38  
now there's weddings on Wednesday, the open. Yeah. And that's the other thing to wrap back around to this is. wedding professionals are not only dealing with Friday, Saturday, Sunday, weddings, Thursdays, Wednesdays all week long now. Yes. And this was without really a lot of corporate events going on. When you talk about 2020 and 2021. There were a few

Sharon Rumsey  20:01  
But it's gonna blow up. Yeah.

Kristina Stubblefield  20:04  
Yeah, but enjoy being engaged. We just wanted to tell you honestly. So you can make great decisions so you can enjoy your engagement and get to the point that you want to with your wedding is sharing you got anything else.

Sharon Rumsey  20:20  
Congratulations, you just got engaged.

Michael Gaddie  20:23  
Congratulations. That's awesome.

Kristina Stubblefield  20:24  
Enjoy it. And like I said, make sure that you make our podcast on your favorite play list. You can find us on all of them, or visit our website. So congratulations again. Until next time. Thank you for tuning in to this episode of The Ring The Bling And All The Things. If you liked what you heard, make sure to hit the subscribe or follow button on your favorite podcast platform to get notified of upcoming episodes. You can also visit our website, ringblingallthethings.com where you can join our email list and get notifications about new episodes and other information. You can also follow us on your favorite social media platforms.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai