You Got Married! Now What?

Sharon Rumsey  0:00  
Congratulations, you are officially married. But now what? Let's take some time to discuss some of the things that need done soon after your wedding.

Kristina Stubblefield  0:10  
While some things are more fun than others, there are decisions to be made and tasks to be completed as you begin your new life together. Tune in today as we talk about some of these first steps. 

You got engaged. Congratulations. Happy. Yes, joyful time. Of course. Now what timelines to do lists and checklists. 100% Don't worry, you're in the right place. Welcome to The Ring The Bling And All The Things. Hi, I'm Kristina Stubblefield, one of your hosts, along with my two good friends, Michael Gaddy. And Sharon Rumsey. We have over 50 years of wedding industry experience between us. We have seen it, heard it, done it and found a way around it. We are here to get you from down on one knee to down the aisle. Our podcast will cover everything from you saying yes to the I do's and all that happens in between. So buckle up and enjoy the journey. Now let's get started with this episode.

Sharon Rumsey  1:38  
We have spent so much time in so many episodes talking about everything to do with wedding planning. Everything you need to do leading up to your big day. But y'all, we forgot to talk about what to do after your wedding. And there are so many things that a couple needs to consider and actually do after their wedding that we're going to spend some time today talking about just that.

Kristina Stubblefield  1:59  
And this is an episode you don't want to miss because some of this stuff you might want to think about, especially if you're taking off the day after your wedding to go on your honeymoon, you may need some help from family or close friend, maybe you're still gonna call on that maid or matron of honor

Sharon Rumsey  2:18  
for sure. Some things that you really want to think about, actually before your wedding day to have planned to take place after your wedding day or what's going to happen to that dress. Somebody needs to take your dress to the cleaners and have it professionally cleaned. And preserved dresses get really achy, especially the bottom part of the train that's on the ground. So you want to make sure that somebody takes care of that. Another thing that I get asked a lot on wedding day because brides haven't thought about it prior to is they end up wanting to keep their bouquet. So we need to make arrangements beforehand for someone to be responsible for taking your bouquet to a florist that is qualified to do that preservation. And I found out recently I just had to do this for a family member, you literally have 48 hours to get the flowers to the person who's going to do the preservation for you. And

Kristina Stubblefield  3:16  
it also depends on what you're planning to do as far as preservation goes. Because if you haven't looked into it, there's a lot of different things that you can do. Based on your style, your taste, what you're wanting to accomplish, and paperweights.

Sharon Rumsey  3:30  
shadowboxes I had a bride that had her bouquet put in a shadowbox along with whatever invitations. I thought that was really pretty. There's little gifts that you can get for the parents. There's jewelry. So yeah, if you're heading out on a honeymoon, someone needs to be responsible for that. And they need to know your wishes

Kristina Stubblefield  3:49  
well in it. And the biggest thing is some flowers have to be hung upside down. If you're going to do something with them be impressed. They have to be handled a different way. And I know some people have made the mistake of sticking them in a bag or a baggie and have completely sealed them. And I didn't know. But until recently, that's a no no, they will do it. Yes. And it happens quickly, even if you're just going a week. So and I know a lot of people are embracing this preservation as an option. So I encourage you not to wait to the last minute because you're going to need somebody to handle that if you're traveling right after your wedding day.

Sharon Rumsey  4:29  
Absolutely. Another thing that I think a couple really needs to consider while you're still writing that wedding high. Kind of you're going to find yourself in an attitude of gratitude, you're going to be wanting to reach out and thank those people that made your wedding day special. You're going to want to reach out and thank guest so if you have some time maybe at the airport or on your flight, it's a great time to not only jot down a thank you note to your vendors, but also Go on Google, go on Facebook and leave your vendor's a review. Guys vendors live and die by those reviews, they are so important. And once you get back to normal life and you get busy, you're probably not going to take the time to do it. So while you're still in that, I call it the wedding Hi, you want to make sure that you leave some vendor reviews and thank those people that helped make your day so special. And that's

Kristina Stubblefield  5:25  
actually something very easy to do from your cell phone, your tablet. And like Sharon said, while it's fresh in your mind, those reviews as a marketing person, I'm constantly on wedding professionals, not only about written Reviews on Google, Facebook, or any of the other platforms that are out there. But I'm also going to tell you, video testimonials are amazing when someone can see your expressions, feel your emotions from your special day. And maybe that's not something that's at the airport or on the plane ride, that maybe that's something that you do when you're on the beach, or enjoying a day in your suite or wherever you're staying. But it's during that honeymoon, those video testimonials, allow other engaged couples to get a feel for those wedding professionals. Because a lot of times people haven't been down this road before. And you can those video testimonials is just a higher level about a business than any business owner can say about them. It is your take your experience dealing with that wedding professional, and it doesn't have to be professionally shot. Like I said it can be done with your cell phone. And those testimonials are really critical to wedding professionals, for others to hear from you. So Sharon, that's a really good point. And there's no better time to do that, than right after your wedding. It doesn't have to be the very first thing that you do. But I can say one of the things that people might want to do, what's that? Do you think they're gonna want to make it Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn official across all the social platforms,

Sharon Rumsey  7:15  
I mean, you have to write that's a nice fun thing.

Kristina Stubblefield  7:19  
I don't know if that should be the first thing you do as far as changing your name, but it seems pretty high on that list. Speaking on to write, and there's just something about that milestone, that lifetime event that's going on the social media platform, so of course, embrace that. But speaking of name change, Sharon, that actually is a serious topic.

Sharon Rumsey  7:39  
It is and you know, you can wait till you get back from your honeymoon, of course to do this, but you definitely want to take care of if, if you have decided that you're going to be the one of the couple to change their name, you need to get on that. So you'll need your marriage certificate. And the first place I would start is the Social Security Office. Because until that is done, it's very difficult to get everything else done. There are also websites nowadays that you can pay a fee, and they will mostly take care of that for you. So if you want to do the legwork yourself, that's fine. If not, there are websites like hitched that will do it all for you for a fee. But it's amazing and I've been married Ron and I've been married eight years and I still remember just being amazed at all the places I had to change my name like I couldn't even begin to comprehend how many places because it's not just the Social Security office in the bank. If you hold a professional license, such as a nursing license, a cosmetology license, a teaching license, anything like that. It needs to be changed legally through there. If you

Kristina Stubblefield  8:50  
your doctor's offices, your dentist, any utility

Sharon Rumsey  8:53  
company Yes, everything your cell phone. So it's a big deal. So wait till after your honeymoon because it's not even fun. I mean I'm not gonna lie It's not fun at all, but it is something that you have to do.

Kristina Stubblefield  9:06  
And there is software's like Sharon mentioned that you can use to help in the process of changing your name. I don't necessarily know if it does actually everything for you. I

Sharon Rumsey  9:19  
think it mostly like guide you and let you send stuff in and then they send it off.

Kristina Stubblefield  9:23  
Yes, I think it is to help you guide you through it and age you through aid you in the process of it, which is a great thing, especially if you're short on time, and it's not. I'm not gonna say it's cheap, but I'm not gonna say it's like over the top expensive. Off the top of my head. I feel like the last time I looked into one of those, it was like around somewhere in between 80 and $100. Right.

Sharon Rumsey  9:43  
And a lot of couples that's worth it.

Kristina Stubblefield  9:47  
Absolutely. Yes. Well, and the other thing, Sharon, since we're talking about changing the name, this is probably a good time to mention about insurance. And I think this gets forgotten about sometimes And we recently had a guest on the podcast that was talking about event insurance. And it got brought up about life insurance and things like that. And this is a good time to maybe review your entire insurance policies, home, auto, renters, life insurance, anything like that, that you all have, you might be able to save some money by combining.

Sharon Rumsey  10:24  
Yeah, there's usually like a multi policy discount. Another thing that I've heard some couples bring up is, make sure that your homeowner's insurance will cover your rings. It doesn't always sometimes you need a rider. So you want to just really have a meeting with your insurance agent go over everything together and kind of start from scratch

Kristina Stubblefield  10:44  
and find out what's the best way for you. And I think that's a great thing about being able to sit down with a local insurance agent, and discuss your particular needs, and how you now merge two sets of needs into one, how is that best for your situation. And the other thing too, and Josh and I recently went through this is life insurance. You know, it's been a while since we had even explored that, and it is a very, most policies or maybe more affordable than you might think, um, you know, we've recently been through with families, funeral expenses, it's something that you don't necessarily want to talk about. And I think I was surprised at those expenses. And it's just a good time to review everything at once. And that's what Josh and I did was, we just made sure we had a separate policy that would help cover some of those expenses. That way, it's not something we had to deal with, if it was something sudden or anything. So not to bring down the mood. But those are willing,

Sharon Rumsey  11:57  
are some couples. And I mean, my kids are, you know, at the age where once been married a few years one just got married recently. And I think it's the beginning of adulting. Like, and we don't always love to adult, I mean, I'm 53. And I don't like to adult, but I think it's the it's the beginning of setting down and kind of making some of those big decisions together. You know, you might, you might have had to make them on your own before. But now you're a couple and I think it's kind of how you're going to set the tone for making those decisions throughout your marriage. So I think it's super important to sit down and talk about insurance, talk about budget, my oldest son, and I'm not gonna lie and say that I do this, but I respect him tremendously for this. He and his wife, they've been married, gosh, 13 years, I think. And they still have a meeting once a week, where they go over what they spent the last week what bills are coming up for the next week. And they call it dream planning. And I love that. Absolutely. So I think just kind of figure out what works for you guys. And what what plan you're going to utilize in your marriage moving forward as far as adulting making those kinds of decisions.

Kristina Stubblefield  13:05  
Well, and Sharon, to be honest with you, where it came up between me and Josh, about just our life policies, life insurance policies was, you know, I lost two grandpa's 90 days apart, one had their shit in order for lack of better word, the other one didn't want to mess with it. And going through that in a short time span. It made me say to Josh, God forbid, if something happened to me, this is one of the last things I want you to have to think about. And I just feel like we should look into how much would it cost to have a 10 or $15,000 insurance policy that was specific for those funeral expenses. Now, of course, that's going to change over time. But that's what made me think of it, I wouldn't want him that to all be on him. If something sudden happened. Sure. And he was like, You know what, that is a really good point. And a lot of times it takes something happening to someone that you know, or a loved one for it to bring to the surface, you to look at your own family and getting married. You don't want to think about something bad happening, but just caring and respecting each other. In regards to life insurance, home, auto renter's insurance doesn't even have to be death, you know, something can happen at any time full

Sharon Rumsey  14:32  
and it doesn't even have to be insurance. I mean, evaluate your cell phone plans. If you both are on different cell phone plans. You can maybe get on one plan and save money Gosh, we're

Kristina Stubblefield  14:42  
really getting into adult utility health insurance.

Sharon Rumsey  14:46  
You know, can can one Have you stopped carrying health insurance at work and hop on the other ones home

Kristina Stubblefield  14:51  
save maybe maybe it's a better policy, maybe you don't save any money, but maybe it's a better policy. Absolutely. And it's it's all of those things because it's now Not just you, it is the two of you together, that's that's your family, your own family. And that that's a really good point. And you can even evaluate your cable. You know, maybe before you used to watch a lot of TV, but now you have plans to do this and that. And maybe it's worth cutting the cord and doing streaming services, there's a lot of people that are doing that these days. So gosh, this is one episode that is, it is all things to think about. And you don't have to do all these things, two weeks after you get married, or after your special day. But it's things that you should consider setting yourself up for success, whatever, however you define that

Sharon Rumsey  15:44  
another thing, and we're gonna really change the tone because this is a lot more fun that you want to, you want to look into doing. You know, if you didn't before you left on your honeymoon, or if you need some cash for your honeymoon, you want to open those cards and gifts. A lot of couples receive a tremendous amount of money in their wedding cards. So, you know, do you need that for your honeymoon? If if not make a plan for what you're going to do with that.

Kristina Stubblefield  16:14  
Well, let me I'm going to stop right there. The thing I would say, first of all, if you're not using it on your honeymoon, definitely have a plan who's keeping that is one of the parents taking it Do they have a fireproof safe? Is it on

Sharon Rumsey  16:29  
my on my wedding, my one month out wedding checklist that they have to tell me who's taking their cards and their gifts.

Kristina Stubblefield  16:35  
Because especially if you're going to be gone for a week, where's the safe place that that can be sitting in your apartment, or your home on a counter, that you're all over social media saying that you all gone on your honeymoon well, and

Sharon Rumsey  16:47  
even on wedding day, I need somebody sober and responsible to give those things to. So yeah, that's a definite question that you want answered even before your wedding is who's going to be responsible. But I really recommend leaving those people a deposit slip. And maybe they can go ahead and put that money in your savings account for you. I highly, highly recommend if you have charged anything for your wedding, if you have created any debt to pull off your wedding. First of all, I hope you didn't. But if you did, then take some of that money and not that debt out. You don't you don't want to carry that with you into your marriage. So kind of make a plan for what's going to happen for that. And then you want to open your wedding gifts. And last but certainly not least, keep working on those thank you notes. I think the handwritten thank you note is something that's dying off. And it makes me really sad, because I think it is such a sign of gratitude and respect, to take the time to write someone who not only came to your wedding, but gave you a nice gift, a note acknowledging that gift. So that's not always the bride's job. Anyone who can hold a pin can write a thank you note. So I think divide those up and conquer and get those thank you notes.

Kristina Stubblefield  18:03  
And that's something the couple can actually do together. Even if it's over a span of a couple weeks that you can share in that a couple tips that I will share with the audience is, first of all, whether you're taking that money on your honeymoon or not, I encourage you to keep the card inside the envelope. If you want to write the amount that they gave you on the envelope, you can do that as well. But that way you have the address the return address. If some if it's mailed now, if it was given to you at the event, it might not be but at least you have a reminder of who gets a reminder of who that came from. Now there are some times people do mail cards. And that's the other thing I was gonna say, Sharon is I know we had some of those that got mailed to us. So we actually had someone check our mail every couple days. And I'm glad that we did, because I didn't want to leave people's checks, or cash sitting in the mailbox. Sure. Um, the other thing is, I encourage you to make sure you write a list about those gifts, you know, because sometimes they just have the little sheet, the little folded item with the ribbon. It may not have a card. So making a list on a notebook of what gifts you got from who so do you just have that list to go off of you're not trying to write out the notes while you're opening things. Again, uh, some people have never done this before. Or maybe it's something that their parents or their maid of honor or something like that didn't do in theirs. And so these this could be new to them. As far as I think you know, I think

Sharon Rumsey  19:43  
opening gifts to if you're not leaving right after your honeymoon. I have a lot

Kristina Stubblefield  19:47  
of females right after their wedding. Yeah, right after you're trying to send them back out the door after their honeymoon.

Sharon Rumsey  19:51  
You're not leaving on your honeymoon right after your wedding. Maybe you got married on Saturday. You're not leaving till Monday, on Sunday. It's really Fine, even if it's just like going to buy some doughnuts, to have a little get together with your parents, maybe some of your bridal party and open the gifts in front of them. I think everybody loves seeing the guests gifts. And if you do that, then you can assign someone while you're opening to take those notes that Christina was talking about. And to make sure that the appropriate people get thanked for the correct gift.

Kristina Stubblefield  20:24  
You see that a lot of times at baby showers or even bridal showers as well. So that's a great idea. Yeah, one of the other things Sharon, we didn't miss that we didn't mention yet. I know, some bakeries now are making a small cake. We call it an anniversary cake, an anniversary cake. But there are still some following the tradition of taking their topper, or their small cake home to freeze it, to have it a year later for their anniversary now to each their own. But if you're going to do that, make sure you probably don't want to just stick it in the freezer, you probably want to wrap it up accordingly. Yes, you want to wrap it. And don't wait until you get back a week after your honeymoon to do that, again, that

Sharon Rumsey  21:16  
should be assigned to someone to do for you. That's another question I always ask is are we allowed to cut the top tier, most all bakeries I work with now do do the anniversary cake, you just have to call them and say, Hey, we got married a year ago, you made our cake. And they will remake that top tier for you. If you do decide to save that top tier and eat it a year later. First of all, God bless you good luck. And secondly, you want to wrap it very, very tightly in plastic wrap saran wrap, and put it in the freezer as soon as possible. I actually have not had many couples choose to do that. But if you do, make sure that it's taken care of the night of your

Kristina Stubblefield  21:59  
wedding. And there's still some that believe in that tradition. And that's great. Just take care of it the appropriate way. And don't wait until you get back right. It'll be nasty. That's what I was gonna probably say yes. And we can keep going on and on. I think we've covered most of the main things. But I think the whole point of this was getting your wheels turning on things to think about, especially if you're leaving right after your wedding, or the morning the next morning. But also some other things to make it to do list, you know, to start off your family. So it was kind of just a way to, to close out all of these checklists we've been going through I don't know how many of them we've done. But it was just a way to kind of wrap up okay, after the planning. This is stuff you need to do. But don't worry, we have more for after the wedding. I mean, right? There's always something there's always something but alright, is that all we got for now? I think that's it. It's interesting. Mike is not with us this time. I kind of feel like it's been

Sharon Rumsey  23:04  
a little quiet. It's it's been different. It has been I miss him.

Kristina Stubblefield  23:08  
I'm not gonna say bad, different or good, different are you. Um, it's just different. It's just different. Well, we love Mike and he'll be back here in studio with us soon. Thankfully, it's not because of anything bad. He's genuinely very busy in his business, which is a great thing. Sometimes it can be overwhelming, but he is definitely a loved part of the podcast, but he's also a loved florist in the community and beyond. So Alright, well until next time, we hope that you will share our podcast with your friends, maybe some people from your wedding party, maybe your parents, anybody can listen because we cover things from engagement into married life. So until next time, see ya.

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