In this episode, co-hosts Kristina, Mike & Sharon have a frank discussion about wacky wedding traditions that are no longer popular and need to die off.
Weddings are full of traditions. Part of making the day uniquely yours will be to decide which wedding traditions resonate with you and which ones you'd rather bypass. Tune in to hear about the dated wedding traditions our hosts feel need to die off and why they loathe them so much.
How many of you are tired of the chicken dance, the dollar dance and the garter and bouquet tosses at weddings? Our hosts get down and dirty in this episode and talk about all the dated trends that are dying off and even offer up some suggestions of things you can do instead.
Stop what you’re doing and listen to this episode where Co-hosts Kristina, Mike & Sharon have some strong opinions about wacky wedding practices that should cease and desist immediately
BY THE TIME YOU FINISH LISTENING, YOU’LL UNDERSTAND that your wedding day is uniquely yours and you get to decide what traditions you want incorporated and which ones get excluded!
Share with us a dated wedding tradition that you would like to see go away and tag us on Facebook or Instagram @theringtheblingandallthethings
While you’re there, make sure you follow us @theringtheblingandallthethings so you can see behind the scenes where me, Mike & Sharon will take you from engagement to your wedding day and beyond with The Ring, The Bling & All The Things
Kristina Stubblefield 0:00
Just because it's always been done doesn't mean it should be have to should not exist in today's wedding world.
Sharon Rumsey 0:07
This isn't your mama's wedding day you do you stick to what you love and those things that bring you joy, then let the rest of it go.
Michael Gaddie 0:16
A lot of wedding traditions are from a time gone by a time where every wedding look the same. Those days are over. If a tradition fits you and your partner, then by all means include it. If not, you are not obligated to do anything you don't feel is right.
Kristina Stubblefield 0:31
You got engaged. Congratulations. Happy. Yes, joyful time. Of course. Now what timelines to do lists and checklists. 100% Don't worry, you're in the right place. Welcome to the ring, the bling, and all the things. Hi, I'm Kristina Stubblefield, one of your hosts, along with my two good friends, Michael Gaddie and Sharon Rumsey. We have over 50 years of wedding industry experience between us. We have seen it, heard it, done it and found a way around it. We are here to get you from down on one knee to down the aisle. Our podcast will cover everything from you saying yes to the I do's and all that happens in between. So buckle up and enjoy the journey. Now let's get started with this episode.
Sharon Rumsey 1:42
Super excited for this episode. Today. We have spent a lot of time sharing what we see is up and coming wedding trends, what the next few years are going to look like. But today, we're actually going to spend some time talking about some things that we see going away. So wedding trends that we see dying off. That's the topic for today's episode. So excited to hear what Mike and Christina think I know I sure have some that I think need to die,
Michael Gaddie 2:07
lots and lots of things that needs to die. And for one thing starting off is the dollar dance. The dollar dance is just so far out of it and so outdated. Not that I know, I know the bride and groom likes to collect that money. But I mean, in today's society, I'm tired of seeing
Sharon Rumsey 2:28
people listening that don't know what the dollar dance is. Explain.
Unknown Speaker 2:32
Yes, please do explain that to us.
Sharon Rumsey 2:36
Okay, so I agree it needs to die.
Michael Gaddie 2:39
The bride and the groom goes up on the dance floor and they start dancing together. But then every guest that wants to come up, will come up and give them $1. And they'll break into that person's dance. So you'll have two or three seconds and then the next person will come up and give $1 and the next person and give $1 and honestly Pam and I did that 30 years ago. That's why I say it needs to die. That's 30 years ago. And yeah, we collected pride $200 But still, it's it's a thing that's in the past,
Sharon Rumsey 3:10
I haven't done $1 dance at one of my weddings probably the last three years. But I would almost pay my clients $200 not $1 Damn
Kristina Stubblefield 3:20
it definitely. And I think some people out there listening or me like, I still want to do it. Again, these are just topics that we're discussing. This isn't ironclad, you cannot do them. It's just our take on it. So who's up next.
Sharon Rumsey 3:39
One of the things that as a planner I see dying off and I'm not sad about it is receding lines. It used to be after a wedding, the bride and groom would line up sometimes with their parents. And every single guest went through a line and they spoke to every single guest. And they either did that right after the ceremony at the church. Or they did it at the reception before festivities got started. It takes so much time and it is so painful for the bride and groom to just stand there. And I mean, what do you say you have 30 seconds you say thank you for coming. And off they go. So I'm really glad that that's dying away and that we get to spend our time on wedding day, walking around visiting with people on a bride and groom's own time and not having that formal stuffy receiving line.
Michael Gaddie 4:34
Well and too with with COVID going on with this past year. I mean, you have kind of seen that go away because that's not being socially distance. So that's probably a trend that's going to start to get it out of here
Unknown Speaker 4:49
to fade it out.
Michael Gaddie 4:50
fade it out. Yeah,
Kristina Stubblefield 4:51
I have a discussion. I have an item that I think is going to turn into a discussion. What's your take on the guard In the bouquet toss,
Michael Gaddie 5:02
well, my thought on the top the task bouquet, just to get that there and toss into all the single ladies in the room. I think that's crazy. That's that's a trend that's kind of passed. It's a way out a long time ago and more of the brides that I talk to nowadays, we automatically give a free task. Okay. But they automatically Tell me, I don't want to talk. Okay.
Sharon Rumsey 5:24
Well, a lot of girls today. They think that that's kind of a sexist thing. Because it's saying that a woman needs to get married. Yeah, so get her out there and hope she catches the bouquet.
Michael Gaddie 5:36
But doing a twist on that. I always suggest doing the anniversary bouquet. And what that what that means is all the couples get up on the dance floor, including the bride and groom. And whoever that is the last couple stand in the deejay usually says, Okay, he's been married 10 to 15 years or who's been married five years. And then they eventually everybody gets off the dance floor except for that oldest couple.
Kristina Stubblefield 6:01
The couple that's been married the longest Exactly.
Michael Gaddie 6:03
And and usually it's a grandparent or something. And then that bouquet is taller, you know, presented to that couple. And I think that's really what
Sharon Rumsey 6:10
I love to do with that is I keep my dear My newlyweds are out on the floor the whole time. They don't leave the dance floor. And like Mike said, You have everybody out there and slowly but surely, people go off. And so usually the people that are out there married 50 years, 45 years, I like to actually have the DJ, go up to that couple and ask him to give some advice to the newly married couple. And then at that time, we can give the the bouquet from one bride to another well,
Michael Gaddie 6:36
and what a special time to take a photo off of that because you've got your the couple that's getting married, plus someone stand there being married 52 plus years. And I think that's it's usually it's a grandparent too. And I think that's special.
Kristina Stubblefield 6:51
Okay, let's talk about the guard or we talked a lot about the bouquet toss. What, what's the take on the garter?
Sharon Rumsey 6:56
I'll take this one.
Unknown Speaker 6:57
Sharon Rumsey 6:58
my take on the garter is no, I feel like it. Nine times out of 10 is humiliating for the bride. Some couples do it because they feel like if they do the bouquet toss, if that's something they wanted to do, they have to do the garter. But honestly, you don't have to do both. And the garter toss, no matter how you do it, you're in front of all your guests with your husband of one hour, going up under your dress, to pull an undergarment off of you. And for most girls today, that is a humiliating thing. So nine times out of 10 they choose not to do it and I can I agree with
Michael Gaddie 7:40
you. I think that's kind of
Kristina Stubblefield 7:42
and I think we can leave that conversation. I feel strongly about that. I can tell you feel strongly about it. And and I think others are going to have different opinions and that's okay. It's up to you whatever they want. And sharing one of your favorite sayings is what
Sharon Rumsey 7:56
the only vote that counts is the one in the white dress.
Kristina Stubblefield 7:59
Michael Gaddie 8:00
Well, Sharon, tell us about I know one of your favorites. Is the shoe game. Is that what it's called?
Sharon Rumsey 8:05
Oh my goodness,
Kristina Stubblefield 8:06
it is her absolute favorite. Mine
Michael Gaddie 8:07
talked about it quite a
Kristina Stubblefield 8:09
bit every wedding. Not?
Sharon Rumsey 8:13
Well, I put the shoe game. I didn't know what it is. Yeah, I
Michael Gaddie 8:17
don't even know I don't know what
Sharon Rumsey 8:19
to shoe game involves, and I'm gonna tell you why I don't like it. But it involves the groom and the bride sitting in chairs that are back to back. So they're facing away from each other. And then you write a series of like 10 questions. So maybe one of the questions is, who's the best driver? And then the bride and the groom hold up a shoe, either the male shoe or the female shoe to indicate their answer. And it's kind of a cute game like it a shower. I don't love it for receptions at all.
Kristina Stubblefield 8:57
Like literally they take their shoes off during the reception.
Sharon Rumsey 9:00
Yes. And let me tell you something, my hatred with the shoe game started. I did a wedding and the groom had on cowboy boots. So he's out there on the floor, and he can't get his boot off to play the shoe game. So he asked me for help. So then I'm out there in front 250 people to see that. I mean, honey, it was bad. Please tell me there's somewhere I'm sure trying to pull this boot off. Everybody's looking at you. So I recommend if you are shoe game people that you should bring a separate pair of shoes, not the shoes you're wearing on wedding day to play the shoe game.
Michael Gaddie 9:43
So the wedding planner don't have to go out and pull your boot off right.
Sharon Rumsey 9:45
But what it does does is it stops your wedding reception. It forces everyone to sit and watch you lift shoes up in the air
Kristina Stubblefield 9:56
and once you've got people on the dance floor and they come off against war. It's hard to get them back on the dance floor.
Sharon Rumsey 10:02
Yes, I put it right up there with the chicken dance. Okay,
Kristina Stubblefield 10:04
we're gonna go on to another topic. I have one. I'm sorry, Mike, I know you probably do too. But this cake in the face that
Sharon Rumsey 10:15
Kristina Stubblefield 10:17
You know, I guess a while back a long time ago, you know, if you have a fun couple and you know, they joke around with each other and things like that. But I mean, it's a big day, and you're got makeup on possibly fake eyelashes, and in expensive attire, to say the least.
Michael Gaddie 10:43
I mean, everybody's different. But you know what I mean. That's not the place to do it.
Kristina Stubblefield 10:50
I've seen people be gone for 20 minutes or so to get their face or net cleaned up, because so I know it's one of those things. And again, I go back to, if it's a fun couple, and they, they joke around and everything. But Gosh, to have that all smeared all over you.
Sharon Rumsey 11:08
It's not something for me to now a lot of couples are kind of taking the attention away from the cake cutting over about the last year, I've noticed a trend where they don't want it announced by the DJ, they don't they just want to quietly go over and cut their cake with the photographer. And so I think just that whole moment of cutting the cake and smashing the cake. I think it's going away. Mike, I
Kristina Stubblefield 11:33
know you've had some things, some topics over there. So we should let you get a word in edgewise. You
Michael Gaddie 11:38
want to comment on the cake? No, cuz I mean, I feel like I agree with you. I mean, that's unnecessary. Now some people you know, the younger people too are, you know, pranksters and jokers. And that's, that's it. That's down. That's okay. But really, people don't want to watch that. I really don't know some people, their friends may think it's funny. But
Sharon Rumsey 12:00
a wedding planner, you don't want to have to put them back together. Yeah,
Michael Gaddie 12:03
that's crazy. But another thing that I'm seeing that when it comes to telephony in the couple, when the best man in the the maid of honor goes up and toast, you know, it's best if you just go up and give a sweet toast, good luck, good luck to the couple. Don't go in and give jokes, inside jokes that nobody knows anything about. Because really remember
Kristina Stubblefield 12:29
this one time back about 10 or 15 years ago, and it can go
Michael Gaddie 12:33
on and on and on. And you know what I hate to say it, but that's the bornus thing. And you lose people's attention when you do that. So when you give a toast just go up, do something really quick and simple. Give them love and go from there.
Kristina Stubblefield 12:47
That's a really good, that's a really good one. All right, Sharon, I know your list has got to be long.
Sharon Rumsey 12:52
I think one of the things that I see going away, and I don't, I didn't at first know how I feel about it. But now I'm pretty convicted that it's the right thing. It used to be that every bridesmaid wore exactly the same dress, not just the same color. But exactly the same dress. And I think you know, a woman is going to photograph better, she's going to be happier if you allow her to be in something she's comfortable in and with so many different body types. And you know, some bridesmaids are in their 50s and some bridesmaids are in their 20s. And, you know, there are just so many different types of women that I think in order to respect your bridal party, one of the things I see going away is that uniformity, I think, pick a color or even pick a color palette and then let your bridesmaids all choose the style of dress that they're most comfortable in.
Kristina Stubblefield 13:45
That's a really good point. And I've seen some recent weddings some of yours that just amazing how every bridesmaid really popped and it flowed so well with the bride's dress.
Sharon Rumsey 13:58
woman takes a better picture.
Kristina Stubblefield 14:00
Yeah, we've talked about that before. That's
Michael Gaddie 14:04
something else that I've see that Believe it or not, people still ask for him, but you're not seeing him as much anymore. Is candelabras at the the wedding. I mean, really, I mean, that's something that we used to rent many, many, many times. And people still ask for them. But really, they're out more times at the church and the reception now the decorations and everything are less simpler than they used to be, especially at the church, you know, for the altar arrangements. If you just do two columns into two arrangements. That's plenty. But used to for example, I'll keep going back to payment up when Pam and I got married. We had over 400 candles on the altar. No joke. We had every candelabra we had. I mean candles are beautiful. But there's other ways today that you can do candles Besides having those big gold candelabras up there. So
Kristina Stubblefield 15:05
it's a really good point. Sharon, do you have other stuff on your list? Well,
Sharon Rumsey 15:08
sticking with the core, I don't want to step in Mike's box. But getting fixed and chip in it. One of the things that I see going away and I not sad mason jars. When I first started, oh my gosh,
Kristina Stubblefield 15:26
oh bin overrode mason
Sharon Rumsey 15:28
jar any mason jars. And it was for a long time mason jars with baby's breath and a burlap ribbon. We are in Kentucky. So I don't know if that's a thing all over. But I probably spent the first two years of my career. But mason jars with baby's breath and burlap ribbon. And I want to say by the burlap. And I want to say by the mason jars. And I can even say by the baby's breath. And I'm okay with that.
Kristina Stubblefield 15:53
And there's something else you want to say bye to that was in that range of decor,
Michael Gaddie 15:57
a log pizza log a piece of Well, let me tell you
Kristina Stubblefield 16:03
what, let her go what
Sharon Rumsey 16:04
what kind of piece of log, a big old wood slab? I don't get it. I don't know what it means. I just have
Kristina Stubblefield 16:13
her accent just change. I haven't heard her accent understood it.
Sharon Rumsey 16:17
I have never ever understood it. So my can maybe speak more to that. And I probably wasn't supposed to say that because there's I probably have clients that are still using wood slabs. And you know, again, they're the only vote that counts. But me personally, I'll be okay if I don't ever see one again.
Michael Gaddie 16:34
Well, let me say this, the mason jars are out. You don't see that very often. baby's breath is still in, it's nice to go out. There are so many other flowers that you can use. That is more up to date such as you can buy one hydrangea and put it in a cylinder vase instead of a mason jar. Over half a bunch of babies
Sharon Rumsey 16:59
need a burlap rib and it
Michael Gaddie 17:01
doesn't need to burlap ribbon. But now on the log piece. All the barn weddings that we've been doing used to be rustic and mason jars and everything. But now they've taken these barn weddings next level and went to the next level. And they still have these log pieces but they've added gold crystal cups on top of them or they've had hanging chandelier errors from the ceiling of the barn fabric draping. So they're like they've taken that look of a rustic, and they've upscaled it,
Sharon Rumsey 17:37
but they didn't have granddad go out in the woods and cut a tree.
Michael Gaddie 17:41
But but but that would log I hate to tell you it's not going away. Because that is the trend thing right now. But if you just if you can picture that would log with some nice foliage on it such as seeded Eucalyptus or silver dollar and then maybe even taken a gold base with nothing but white hydrangeas in it and sitting it on that log in that bar. And that still fits that motif going on. You can dress up the law, you can dress up that log pace.
Kristina Stubblefield 18:07
Sharon's gonna start twitching because I'm gonna say, Mike, that sounds very beautiful.
Michael Gaddie 18:11
It is beautiful. It is beautiful.
Sharon Rumsey 18:13
Can Can we talk with you the florist about baby's breath for a minute, because I used to think that was a good choice. I thought that it was inexpensive, which it's not. And I just thought it was pretty and I still do think it's pretty. But I didn't know when I started. baby's birth has an odor.
Michael Gaddie 18:33
It does. I'm not actually there. You will spray it with downy just to make it smell a little bit better because it does not smell well.
Sharon Rumsey 18:42
And I actually had a bride and she wanted all babies breath. This was when I first started down her aisle. And we went into the church and we were going to take a couple pictures before the ceremony and she said What is that smell? And it was her baby's breath. It was her floral, what I mean?
Michael Gaddie 18:58
Yeah, there are so many other things that you can choose from than baby's breath. I mean, just for example, hydrangea is going to cost you anywhere from five to $6. That's going to fill a mason jar, a bunch of baby mason jars, but I'm just saying a bunch of babies breath is $25 and you're going to fail to bases because a bunch isn't very big. Right? Plus you don't have then you're going to have that older too. Yeah.
Kristina Stubblefield 19:21
So okay, I don't know if you all have other items on your list. Do you? I have one thing that is probably a be a great way to exit or close out of this. It has to do with exiting. But what is your thoughts on exiting in a car with you know the just married sign or I know they used to do the cans behind them. But I've heard recently at weddings of people heading out the doors to a song but they're having so much fun that they turn around and come back in. You know, you almost can't get them to leave is that Whole leaving in a car together thing is that time for it to go away.
Michael Gaddie 20:04
Sharon could probably talk more on this. But personally, I mean, really what we're saying is, I mean, they've rented a nice car or they've rented an antique car or they bring the limousine. But you do see the guests cut the couple come back in and party more. And then they do eventually leave. But you know that you usually have a sparkler exit exit or something like that. But even my niece and they got married couple years ago, they had a big sparkler exit. They thought they were leaving, they didn't leave everybody, the guests left, but they were still back in on the dance floor dancing.
Sharon Rumsey 20:40
I love a good exit. But I also love the exit because of the photos.
Michael Gaddie 20:46
So that's what I'm gonna say it's more about the
Sharon Rumsey 20:48
photo, let's get into the logistics of that, that a lot of people don't know is a photographer is hired for a number of hours on wedding day. So usually, the photographer is not there at 1130 or midnight when that reception is over. So most of these amazing pictures you see of exits are a fake exit stage. Yeah, I've done lighted balloons, I've done glow sticks. I honestly can say I have never personally done a wedding where they threw rice. I think that's much more old school. But yeah, most of those exits aren't real. But I do love when we get the great picture in front of the I had a bride. Last summer, she rented a Rolls Royce. And we put little LED lights in each of her. We had pearl blinds, we put LED lights in each building, we pass that 250 bylanes. And it was gorgeous. The pictures are gorgeous. And that really was her exit was
Michael Gaddie 21:44
at churchill downs.
Sharon Rumsey 21:46
That's the first one I've seen. That was really the real,
Kristina Stubblefield 21:50
like they got in the car and they left. I think one of the things people will take away from this episode. I wonder how many people out there that hadn't been to weddings or weddings recently thought about those being staged for photos,
Sharon Rumsey 22:03
you know that x that being staged, you know when that's not the actual time then what you have to be careful as a planner with that is you so you have 250 people to stay with that number in your in your reception. And you have the DJ announce, hey, we're going to we're going to do an exit to take some pictures. And no matter how many times they say, but we're going to keep the party going come back in part, probably a fourth of your guests are going to leave at that time. So you kind of it's a fine line, you have to walk. And sometimes it's worth paying your photographer to stay.
Kristina Stubblefield 22:37
Well, do you all have anything else. I thought that was a great way to kind of ramp this up. I think we've touched on some things that people some are going to agree with us and others, I tell you what
Michael Gaddie 22:49
were all these worst suggestions. So again, you do what you want.
Sharon Rumsey 22:52
Absolutely. As Sharon always says, it's your day you get to make the decisions are just our personal opinions. And if my you know, my clients asked me, I'm gonna tell them how I feel about it. But if they want this in their wedding, it's their wedding. And I'm sure if Mike gets asked to make, you know, baby mason jars with baby's breath, if that's what that bride wants, that's what he'll do it you have to do what's right for you. But there are definitely trends in the wedding industry that we can see come and go.
Michael Gaddie 23:20
And there's tons other than others that we could cover too. But that's another episode.
Kristina Stubblefield 23:24
I think we'll break this into two. Alright, this is a great time to tell you we want to hear from you. Tell us what trends Would you like to see go? What things did you do at your wedding if you're already married, or if you're planning your wedding, share with us what you're doing, maybe it's something unique and maybe you're sticking to some traditions, just go to our website, the ring, the bling, and all the things.com. And you can either click the contact button, or you can click the microphone and record a message to us. Now I'll tell you a couple of things. On our upcoming episodes. We are going to start doing a listener of the week. So if you would like to be featured on that, give us some feedback that can be you can write us a review. We love review sharing what do we really like though, a glowing
Sharon Rumsey 24:16
five star review?
Kristina Stubblefield 24:19
Absolutely. And we just want to hear from you and we would like to feature that on some of our episodes. So we hope that you enjoyed listening and until next time.
Thank you for tuning in to this episode of the ring, doubling and all the things. If you liked what you heard, make sure to hit the subscribe button to get notified of upcoming episodes. You can also visit our website, the ring, the bling and all that dot com for past episodes and make sure to connect with us on social media. If you would like to help us get the word out about this podcast, make sure to share with your family, your friends and anyone you know in the wedding business.
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