My BIG Redneck Wedding Tip

Kristina Stubblefield  0:00  
In this episode, we offer up suggestions to ensure your day goes smoothly.

Sharon Rumsey  0:04  
With over 50 years of combined wedding experience between the three of us, don't you think we've got some tips and tricks up our sleeves? And today here we come to share them all with you. So buckle up, Betty,

Michael Gaddie  0:15  
it's gonna be a hell of a ride.

Kristina Stubblefield  0:18  
You got engaged. Now what? Happy? Yes, joyful time, of course, stressed and overwhelmed. 100%. Don't worry, you're in the right place. Welcome to the ring, the blink, and all the things where we will get you from down on one knee to down the aisle. We'll cover all things from yes to I do's and all that happens in between. Hi, I'm Kristina Stubblefield, one of your hosts, along with my two good friends, Michael Gaddy. And Sharon Rumsey. With over 50 years of wedding experience between us. We have seen it, heard it, done it and found a way around it. So buckle up and enjoy the journey. Now, let's get started with this episode.

I'm Christina Stubblefield. And I'm here with my good friend Sharon Rumsey and Michael Gaddy. And today we're talking about the top six tips. But Whoa, before we get started, I want to talk about the good the bad. And yes, the ugly. Now, for those who might not believe there's a lot of things that go on behind the scenes that hopefully, if it's planned correctly, the bride and groom don't know about. Right. So let's talk a little bit about that. Before we dive into our topic, Mike, come on. You had some weddings this weekend. Talk to me about those.

Michael Gaddie  1:50  
This past weekend, we had eight weddings, all of them went great. Even though was on vacation. I was a little stressed because when I go out of town, you know one thing still got to go on.

Kristina Stubblefield  2:02  
But there's no I in team though, right? That's exactly right.

Michael Gaddie  2:05  
Right. And but I've got a great staff and they did a wonderful job. But I did have a situation that came up and I've This is starting off my tip here too. Because not that we had to go right into it but trying to get a hold of a bride. And then she doesn't return your phone calls is a pain.

Sharon Rumsey  2:29  
You got ghosts.

Michael Gaddie  2:30  
I got go. But I mean it all worked out. But after talking to other vendors, through the through the herb Enders no one could get ahold of her.

Kristina Stubblefield  2:43  
So that's a problem. That's

Michael Gaddie  2:44  
a big problem.

Kristina Stubblefield  2:45  
Now, do you find this I'm gonna go off topic just a little bit. But speaking of communication, do you feel like brides and grooms and couples these day? these days? Are they doing more with texting and social media messaging than they are actual phone calls? They

Michael Gaddie  2:59  
are? And that's not good. I mean, you still have to have your personal skills. And you know, what I would highly recommend is the bride, the mom, your wedding planner, if you have one is reach out to all your vendors, at least two weeks out. And, you know, confirm everything confirm delivery time confirm guest count. That's where we had a problem this weekend. I mean, one of the weddings, which what they have 160 people there. They ended up like 230 people. So guess what happened? I ran out of food?

Kristina Stubblefield  3:33  
Well, there's a lot of things that can play into that because you're affected your wedding team, as Sharon likes to refer to it, that can affect multiple vendors, not just the caterer for example.

Michael Gaddie  3:44  
caterer size of the tent? The size of the tent was wrong.

Sharon Rumsey  3:48  
Okay. They didn't have enough chairs?

Michael Gaddie  3:50  
No, they did not. Holy moly. They didn't have enough tables.

Kristina Stubblefield  3:55  
It will. And I think you're taking us into one of our topics that we're going to talk about communication. So let's flip it real quick. Sharon, you've seen a lot as a wedding planner. And for those who don't know, Michael is a wedding florist. I'm sorry, not just a wedding florist, a florist of all kind, but

Michael Gaddie  4:11  
we specialize in weddings.

Kristina Stubblefield  4:13  
Thank you for that. Very good. Very good plug. See you're catching on. So Sharon, you've seen the other side of this. And I've always felt like couples hopefully don't know what goes on behind the scenes, especially if there's problems or things that come up. Everyone's human. All the vendors are human as of right now in 2020. So there's gonna be things that happen. So share with me a little bit about what you've seen.

Sharon Rumsey  4:41  
Honestly, that's one of in my opinions. It's one of the main reasons to hire wedding planner, so that you don't know about all those things that come up. Because if you don't have a wedding planner, and there's a problem, people are going to be running into the bride while she's getting her hair and makeup done and trying to get that problem taken care of. So

Kristina Stubblefield  4:59  
if you have a Wedding Planner, you won't, you won't have to deal with any of that kind of stuff because that person will do it for you. That was kind of your liaison, especially on your wedding day or the days leading up to your wedding to kind of buffer that and help you if you have to make changes to decisions that are changes to the original plan. And

Sharon Rumsey  5:19  
like what Mike was just saying how he recommends that if you don't have a wedding planner, you reach out to all your vendors, I prepare a timeline that goes out to the entire vendor team. And that goes out about two weeks before the wedding. At that point, every vendor has a chance to look that over and let me know if they have a concern or a question with anything on the timeline. But one step further than that, say the weddings on a Saturday on that Thursday, 48 hours before I'm going to call every single single vendor, even if it's just to say, Hey, I wanted to touch base, make sure you got the timeline, make sure that you're good to deliver it to 30. You know, do you have any questions? Do you know what door you're delivering through because what if I have my floors, my cater and all of my chairs coming in at 230 through the same door, that's not going to work.

Kristina Stubblefield  6:06  
And I think what you're bringing to light is there's a lot of moving parts that go in to a wedding, whether it be a ceremony or reception, you know, there's some been venues that you can get that have the tables, chairs, maybe even some centerpieces, but there's a lot of moving parts come wedding day,

Sharon Rumsey  6:23  
right. And as a wedding planner, it's my job to kind of take all the pieces of that puzzle. And first of all, I want the right pieces. So it's kind of my job to help that bride to guide her and help her pick the best team. Just like a coach wants to draft the best players, I want to draft the best vendors. And then once we do have that team put together, it's my job to kind of come in and make sure that everybody knows what they're doing, what their role is, and, and then I work with all of them to make their day easier. Because when I can work with them and make everybody's day easier, the whole wedding just flows. And it's like a big jigsaw puzzle that comes together and works perfect.

Kristina Stubblefield  7:00  
And for our listeners out there can feel like they're dodging the question a little bit. They don't want to always talk about maybe the not so pretty things of weddings, because a lot of people have these fairy tales. And they've been planning this day for maybe years. And I think this is the best time to dive in whether you have a wedding plan or not. These six tips can be used no matter what type of event you're having. very formal, casual, outdoor. So these tips can be used by anybody. So the question is Who wants to go first?

Michael Gaddie  7:36  
I'll go first.

Kristina Stubblefield  7:37  
He's jumping at the chance. Okay,

Michael Gaddie  7:39  
he's ready. Well, for one thing is I know, and Sharon knows this more than I do. But I was recently at a wedding, and the DJ the band, but this particular one I was at it was a DJ, I had no clue what was going on with the DJ, what music that was being played or anything. So what one of my tips, is, make sure you make a list of all the songs that you want, played at your wedding, Song by song. But this just happened. If the if the DJ and if you have a good DJ, if you see that your crowd is not reacting to the songs, then let that DJ take control. And and let them let him run with the music because he knows what will get people up and dancing and having fun. Because some people might not always like the music you picked out. But it's always a good idea to have that list in the beginning. So he knows what to do.

Kristina Stubblefield  8:39  
Well, in a good DJ will. We'll put those songs in throughout, especially if they're important for you that day. But one of the things that I try when people ask me about, you know, what's one thing that stands out in your mind with a wedding, make sure you provide the DJ with songs that you definitely don't want played, for whatever reason if you don't like the chicken dance, but I've seen and been in events before where so many people have requested the song you put on your do not playlist. And a DJ will come find you or your wedding planner, and say this is really been requested, you know, to make sure because the way that event is flowing is in the hands of that DJ and to keep people out on the dance floor if at times appropriate. Or if people are eating and you're trying to get ready to get into your main parts of your reception. It's really important, like you mentioned to have a good professional DJ to really help with that.

Sharon Rumsey  9:42  
A good DJ will read that crowd. And that's part of what you pay them for. I have brides sometimes it'll ask me, why can't I just plug in a playlist. Now with all music being digital, they think that they can save money and just plug in a playlist and there's a million reasons why not to do that. But one of the main reasons is Good DJ will read that crowd and he will know what a crowd reacts to and what's not working. My husband's a DJ. And he always says, For people our age, I'm 52, that tells you anything. So usually the moms and the dads, if he can't get them up to dance, all he has to do is play, pour some sugar on me. And they're up. And we've even bet money before when we've done weddings together, that he'll pick out a table and he'll say they haven't been up all night watch. And that that's their job. So hiring that professional experience DJ, so important.

Kristina Stubblefield  10:31  
Well, and also music changes, look how quickly things change, especially if this year brings sheds any light on that, but they stay up on what the popular songs are, what the different genres are what's really people are in tune with. And so I think that's important. So very good tip, Mike. That's good one. All right, Sharon, we're hopping over to you. What's your tip? What's your first tip?

Sharon Rumsey  10:55  
Oh, my gosh, I have so many do the

Kristina Stubblefield  10:57  
do the favorite one.

Sharon Rumsey  10:59  
Come on favorite tip. And Christina and Mike have heard this before. My favorite tip that I always tell all my brides and it seems to shock them, I call it my big redneck wedding tip is to rent a u haul. And I always get a look when I say that, especially when I'm at the Henry Clay or the seelbach. And they're like a u haul.

Kristina Stubblefield  11:18  
So for people that might be listening, those are higher in venues in this local area. But Sharon, I really need you to dive into this u haul thing because I don't want people to think you're suggesting having the event in the U haul? No,

Sharon Rumsey  11:31  
no, I wouldn't be up for that. Okay, but what I do love about running a u haul. And I actually had another wedding planner, tell me this when I first started. And it has never failed me. There's always stuff that a bride wants to bring to her wedding, there's decor there signage, you know, all kinds of things that she wants to bring to setup at that wedding. At the end of the night. There's even more sometimes there's leftover food, there's leftover cake, there's gifts, leftover

Michael Gaddie  11:55  
flowers,

Sharon Rumsey  11:56  
leftover flowers, as long as the wedding planner gets one to take home.

Kristina Stubblefield  12:03  
But anyway, thank you all work together a time or two or 10, maybe

Sharon Rumsey  12:06  
10 at least. So anyway, what happens is, you think it's not going to be a problem and you think it's going to be fine. This just happened to me a couple of weeks ago. And everybody's tired. At the end of the night. Everybody's had a few drinks, they're done. And there's all this stuff to pack up and take home.

Kristina Stubblefield  12:24  
You mean they didn't come to sign up to pack up stuff at night.

Michael Gaddie  12:28  
They did nine years later, everybody's packed up and gone there. Sir, I don't want to stick around.

Kristina Stubblefield  12:32  
There's a few people left. And now you've got all this room good stuff base, basically. And

Sharon Rumsey  12:38  
a lot of people are under the misconception that will then you will let you come back the next day. That is incorrect. Most venues Actually, I can't think of any that are the exception. want everything out by midnight that night. So what happens is, I'm out in the parking lot. And I'm saying it Betty can these flowers fit in your car and Uncle Joe Wait, don't leave, we've got these signs to pack up. Somebody needs to take the gifts. So with the U haul, I simply put everything in the U haul. I need one sober person to either drive it away or park it at the venue and leave it overnight. We put a lock on the back. And everything's good till Sunday.

Kristina Stubblefield  13:16  
And that's very interesting. Because is this still true? Most of the time the bride and groom or the couple leave before everyone else does not necessarily but there's still some people left and they've gone off to start their honeymoon, they they leave or a lot of them do stay till the end because they just want to enjoy every minute. But they don't want to pack up at the end of the night. When it's over. They want to go and they want to go back to their hotel and have their wedding night. Yep, that makes perfect sense. And even though you said some about that being redneck at the end of the day, you're making it easier on the couple, but also the family members and a lot of times that comes down to the parents, grandparents, those that are closest to them that you don't want them spending an hour after a whole reception of worrying about packing up your stuff. And then you've got to go catch it or pick it up from four different places and all that kind of stuff.

Sharon Rumsey  14:13  
It just happened to me a couple weeks ago I had a family talk me out of it. Because they said that several of them had SUVs and they would have plenty of room and it's literally $35 to rent the U haul. But I let them talk me out of it. And about 10 o'clock at night one of the moms came up and said that her grandson was tired and she needed to take him back to the hotel. Then the other mother had to leave because she had a headache. Most of the bridal party had had a really good time. And at the end of the night there I was

Kristina Stubblefield  14:47  
trying to figure out what to do or where to send all this

Sharon Rumsey  14:50  
and I ended up with my car as well as my husband's vehicle full of their decor. And then I had to go find them on Sunday to return every thing?

Kristina Stubblefield  15:01  
Yes, so I definitely think not a happy camper. In most areas, you halls aren't really over $50, especially when you're talking about a 24 hour period. So I think that's an excellent tip.

Michael Gaddie  15:12  
That's a great tip, too.

Kristina Stubblefield  15:13  
I wanted you to share that view first. Okay, Mike, we're coming back to you.

Michael Gaddie  15:17  
Well, one thing, especially with maybe in the flower business, I'm also in the soup business. So we'll talk about that a little later, too. But I've been in this business for 30 something years,

Kristina Stubblefield  15:29  
he has no, you've seen some things we're gonna share. Some

Michael Gaddie  15:32  
of these we use something that used to be really popular was a toss bouquet. Be very seldom see that anymore. And when you say toss bouquet, to the bride and groom, or especially the bride, they'll kind of, I'm not gonna do that. But what my suggestion is, or a tip is,

Kristina Stubblefield  15:49  
can we just clarify that just a little bit? For those who might not just realize what a toss bouquet? Yes,

Michael Gaddie  15:54  
well, a toss bouquet is something that you toss into all the single ladies. So and then the old wives tale from a long time ago, you who ever caught the bouquet, that would be the next one to get married. But this new generation that's come on, they don't really think about that.

Kristina Stubblefield  16:09  
They're not into that, okay.

Michael Gaddie  16:10  
But what I would highly recommend doing is an anniversary bouquet. And what that is, everybody gets on the dance floor, all couples get on the dance floor. And they'll say, you know, who's been married one to 10 years or one to five years, and they sit down Then who's been married up to 10 years, and they sit down. And then the last couple that is standing, gets that, okay, and it's usually a grandparent or something like that. But I think that's a special way to, to still acknowledge that perdition was not doing the tradition.

Kristina Stubblefield  16:40  
Well, in really honoring that couple there has obviously done something right, I guess, you know, and it's a way that they're included that many years of marriage that's kind of included in your event, but not taking away from you, right?

Sharon Rumsey  16:57  
Yeah, I love that. Some some DJs call it the generations dance. Yes. Some people call it the anniversary dance. It's also really cool to have your DJ, ask them what advice they have.

Kristina Stubblefield  17:07  
I've seen that quite a few times.

Sharon Rumsey  17:09  
It never fails that the woman says something so sweet and thoughtful. And the man always makes a joke.

Kristina Stubblefield  17:15  
What normally what Vince, I've been to they said, Yes. What she said yes, yes. You just learn. Yes.

Sharon Rumsey  17:23  
So my husband and I's wedding. It was an older couple that one. And she said that she prayed for her husband every night that the last thing she did before she went to sleep was to pray for her husband. And he said he has nodded his head for 50 years. So that was really interesting to watch how they didn't speak to each other the rest of our wedding reception because she got so mad.

Kristina Stubblefield  17:48  
But they've obviously done something right. They've done something right, Mike? That's a great one. Good one. All right, Sharon, you know, we're coming back to you.

Sharon Rumsey  17:55  
I guess my next tip would be go ahead and treat yourself and pay for professional hair and makeup. I have so many brides that tell me they're on a budget and they're gonna do their own hair and makeup. And I will go through their budget and I will cut something to allow them to get professional hair makeup. And most of the time I recommend it be airbrush makeup. I know we have plans here pretty soon to have a makeup artist on who can certainly speak more intelligently to this than I can. But airbrush makeup is a silicone base makeup, it reflects light differently than traditional makeup. It photographs much better. So if you show me a wedding picture, and say five bridesmaids got airbrush makeup, and two of them did not I can pick those two out.

Kristina Stubblefield  18:44  
And a lot of times it really stands out,

Sharon Rumsey  18:47  
it really, really stands out and you're gonna have those photos for forever. And you want to like the way you look, you want to feel your most beautiful on that day.

Kristina Stubblefield  18:58  
Well, and I'll tell you something, not wedding related, but I've had to learn a whole lot more about photography, makeup, videography, makeup, just because with what I've been doing with marketing classes, and that time I spent in one session with a makeup artist. I just had no idea and the explanation behind why you use certain eyeshadows and you don't some mascaras, there's such a sheen to them, even going beyond and yes, we are going to have guests on here to talk really specific about these industries. But it's you don't know until it's over. And as we've mentioned before, there's no reduce. So you can't go back and fix it. Photoshop can only do so much. But I think that's a really good point because people just think, Oh, that's a service I don't need. But at the end of the day when your events over. That's what you have.

Sharon Rumsey  19:56  
there's ever a day to pamper yourself and to put yourself first It's your wedding day.

Michael Gaddie  20:01  
Well, and I would always highly recommend doing a test trial to it because

Kristina Stubblefield  20:06  
most artists, I think, do that do that.

Michael Gaddie  20:07  
Because you don't want to be having your makeup done that day. And you're thinking, Oh, hell, what's going on? Like, I look like a clown. Yeah. So you don't, there's positives and negatives. But if you work with a professional that does it all the time, you're going to be able to have that trial run,

Sharon Rumsey  20:24  
I usually recommend my girls to, if they know that they're going to have engagement photos done. Usually they use those engagement photos for their save the dates. So if you can schedule your hair and makeup trial, on the day of those photos, because you have to pay for those trials, and they're not cheap. So at least get something out of it. And if you do your hair makeup trials, on the day, you're having your engagement pictures taken, you're at least getting some photos with your hair and makeup done. Plus, as Mike was saying, you get a chance to meet with the artists and go over what you like and what you don't like,

Kristina Stubblefield  20:54  
well, and I will speak from my own experience, one of the things that I wanted to when Josh and I got married was I didn't want to be completely made up, I wanted it to be a more natural look. But the makeup artists also expressed to me at the time that the photos, you know, you have to have some kind of lashes and some kind of heavier mascara and lipstick that's going to last because some of your photos might be taken before but also they're going to be taking after and if you're at ceremonies outdoor mine was you have to account for some of that. So you don't have to be completely made up like a model there can still be a natural look to that. I think that's sometimes people's hesitation because they don't have never used a makeup artist. So they're not they don't realize that you don't have to be something that you're not just because you're having professional makeup done. Right. So okay, Mike, are you ready to go again

Michael Gaddie  21:55  
I am. Another thing is on the same line is when you're picking out your bridesmaids dresses. The trend now for bridesmaids dresses are they don't all have to match, they don't even have to be the same color. Normally, what I'm seeing in bridesmaids is that they may be three or four different shades of the same color. And every body figure or body type is totally different. So you've got a larger girl compared to a skinny girl that's not gonna look the same on both girls. So let that individual bridesmaid pick out any style they want to but in that color.

Kristina Stubblefield  22:32  
Well the other cup key part of that is you want them to be comfortable in their own skin and in this game, because guess what, they're going to walk down some kind of aisle, they're going to be in pictures. And if they aren't somewhat comfortable, that's going to reflect a comfortable

Sharon Rumsey  22:48  
confident woman takes better pictures. Well, and

Michael Gaddie  22:53  
the thing too is I mean, dresses nowadays, your bridesmaid, you know back in the early 90s every bridesmaids dress matched perfectly. You know, that's not you don't very seldom ever see that now, you've got four or five different styles. And I think that like you said it makes the girl so much more comfortable with herself. So that's I think that's a big tip to where the bride don't have to be Oh no, it doesn't match and, and you know, working with color codes or color combinations. Because like for example, when we work with color lavender or purple, you know, there I had these brides so concerned about Oh, it doesn't match. Exactly. You don't want it to match exactly. You want different shades of purples and lavender. If everything was exactly the same color. Your pictures are gonna be horrible. So by using different shades all around and including your flowers, it's gonna be a lot better one

Sharon Rumsey  23:48  
of my favorite weddings I've ever done. And I'll be honest, when she first told me she was doing it, I was a little twitchy. One of my favorite weddings. Sharon. twitchy, twitchy. She came to me and she said she wanted all of her bridesmaids to be in a different floral dress. And her theme was boho chic. And when she came to me and said that I thought, okay, you know, I always tell them, it's your day. So I'm going to keep my mouth shut, but that's not going to work. And I am telling you what it is the prettiest bridal party I think I've ever had. They were all in these very delicate florals. But each dress was a different color floral, there was a different dress. She let every girl pick what they wanted. And when you put them all together, it was the most beautiful picture

Kristina Stubblefield  24:37  
that I've ever seen. So it was on the verge of being perfect or going to be completely bad. Yes, but

Sharon Rumsey  24:45  
she bride usually have a vision of what they want. And if you just guided a little bit it works

Kristina Stubblefield  24:52  
well. They're going to have their Pinterest board Mike knows all about their Pinterest board right

Michael Gaddie  24:56  
all about the Pinterest, the Pinterest board actually.

Kristina Stubblefield  24:59  
Well I'm gonna hop in here and just before we go over to Sharon, I'm gonna give a quick tip because it's more in the tech lane a little bit. And I've know that there are some planners that may mention this to couples, but creating a wedding email address. Now this isn't going to be part of our top six, this is just a little bonus plug, but setting up a wedding email address for your communication that you and your fiance or the mother of the bride and groom, whoever needs access to it, good communication can be through that. And you're not missing out on maybe you went to a wedding show and your name was drawn, and you use your personal email and it went to spam or you get so many emails now because you've had that email address for so long that you didn't even see it. So I've hear a lot of people mentioning about setting up a wedding email address

Sharon Rumsey  25:52  
100% agree that's on my welcome guide that I give my brides once I'm booked. You know, it can be as simple as the Stubblefield wedding@gmail.com. It doesn't have to be anything fancy. But brides underestimate the amount of email they're going to get related to that wedding. And the other thing I tell them to do is to set a reminder in their phones for a certain day every week, that just reminds them to check that email address

Kristina Stubblefield  26:18  
well. And now with smartphones, you can have another email address, but it doesn't go to all of your emails don't go in one where you can get access to it. But you don't want to miss out on maybe promotions or specials that a vendor you might want it to have, but your budget didn't allow, you know, there's things that you're going to get then

Sharon Rumsey  26:39  
a lot of vendors when they send you a contract, that contract will expire. If it's not mine expires within seven days of it's not signed. So there's a lot of time sensitive stuff pertaining to a wedding that's going to come out via email.

Kristina Stubblefield  26:52  
You have anything to add to that, Mike?

Michael Gaddie  26:54  
Well, kind of but um, we'll throw another one in there. Okay, it's as much as the email address but also have a wedding website. For an example, we had a wedding that we were going to go to in Ireland this year. Well, with everything that's happened, they had to postpone it, but I'm gonna tell you, all I had to do was she sent out save the dates card and that address had that address on it. And you could go to that email or that website. And it tells you told you all the information and everything. And it was it's it's so simple to do.

Sharon Rumsey  27:29  
And it's also free.

Kristina Stubblefield  27:30  
Well, and I'm not gonna dive too deep into that because one of our episodes, we're going to talk a little bit more about the importance of a wedding website and you just touched on it, but absolutely, they're free. And especially with what's going on. It's a valuable tool to use

Sharon Rumsey  27:47  
i o planner. It's a it's a wedding planning software that I use and I can plan with all My Brides they're all linked to it and they can set up their wedding website through there. So even I can go in if I need to make a change for them and change something on their website and wedding websites have been a godsend with the Coronavirus.

Kristina Stubblefield  28:07  
Absolutely. So okay, is it. Are you going next? Go ahead.

Sharon Rumsey  28:12  
It's Sharon this afternoon again. Okay, let's see. What's my next favorite? She's

Kristina Stubblefield  28:17  
never hesitated. Mike on talking. Okay.

Sharon Rumsey  28:20  
I thought it was my extern mic, sir. Now I'm ready. Um, we were we were just talking about bridesmaids dresses. But I think more importantly, is talking about bridesmaids. And groomsmen I think. Choose your squad wisely. I hear a lot of girls say well, I had to have her in it because so and so would get mad or Aunt Betty. I always use Aunt Betty as a reference. I don't know why so sorry. All the aunt Betty's out there but

Kristina Stubblefield  28:51  
for Betty poor Betty.

Sharon Rumsey  28:53  
But anyway, I just feel like it's your day. And women. Women can be so non supportive of each other.

Kristina Stubblefield  29:05  
Is that also known? Is that also known as caddy? A little bit, okay.

Sharon Rumsey  29:11  
So surround yourself on that day with people that are going to support you love on you want the best for you. So when you're choosing, I call it choosing your squad. I think that's a perfect way to call and you choose your squad, choose wisely. And don't let anyone talk you into someone that's going to make you uncomfortable. Someone that's going to think it's their day. I can usually if you give me a group of 10 bridesmaids, I can pick the one out that's gonna think it's all about her. You just a bride does not need that on wedding day. So choose your squad wisely. Choose well and just let them love on you to no end through that wedding weekend.

Michael Gaddie  29:55  
Well you know an average bridesmaid count for you. Writing right now is anywhere from 10 to 13. Yep, I ever did. And I always say, so you couldn't choose who you wanted. And most of them say no, I couldn't choose. But really, I mean, I agree with I get into a

Sharon Rumsey  30:13  
lot of, well, I had this cousin. So I had to have all my cousins, our grandma's feelings would get hurt that kind of thing. But, well, something that you have to keep in mind, too, you know, when you got all these girls, you know,

Michael Gaddie  30:26  
that's, that's expensive, because your average price for bouquets is anywhere from 60 to $70. And you take that times 13, that makes your budget skyrocket, right? It's even

Sharon Rumsey  30:38  
past bouquets, it's, you know, when you have that many, you, you allow 45 minutes per, per Lady for makeup, and another 45 minutes for hair. So, you know, you start adding that up, that means you're gonna have to have a second makeup artist, a second hairstylist, or you're going to start getting ready for your wedding at four o'clock in the morning. Nobody wants to do that. So it all really, really adds up.

Kristina Stubblefield  31:04  
Okay, so I'm going to share with you all a story. It has to do with wedding party. And believe it or not, it has to do with my own wedding. Probably something I've not shared with many people. The morning of my wedding at 8am. I got a text message from my maid of honor. Would you all like to guess what that text message might have said she couldn't come correct. My bins better than you know, my best friend of more than 20 years. And I was devastated. Good excuse. And it was more than stressful. And how I know I found a good guy was he said to me, no matter what, we're still going to get married. And it was something that took me many years to get past honestly, many years that I've just over the past year or two started to reconnect with that person. Because that's how much it affected me. I couldn't imagine getting married without that person being there to be part of it. And I think it kind of plays into some of the things you were just saying about picking your squad wisely. I don't think that person may have been in the best space at the time. And I don't want to say that I should have known better. But it just goes back to picking your squad wisely. And I hope no one ever has to go through something like that. But I just felt very emotional. The fact that it had to be that day. It they were just with me the night before at the rehearsal dinner. So um, gosh, when you're picking your wedding party, girls guys, doesn't matter. Um, those are your right hand people that are there. You may need to depend on them to help you with something that has to do a few weeks even before your wedding. And you want people that you can depend on no matter what

Sharon Rumsey  33:21  
well nowadays to the way we celebrate weddings. Well, back before the wrona there are bachelorette parties, there's bachelor parties, there are showers, there are all these things that are planned. And so especially for the ladies, there's that same group of girls, you know, I've had brides Tell me Gosh, we're going out of town we're going to Nashville and I don't even like so and so and now I have to spend a weekend with her. And I just want to go then why is she in your bridal party? If this is not someone you want to spend a weekend with that person doesn't belong, you know, and I just a couple of weeks ago, we were in hair and makeup and the bride was in the makeup chair and a bridesmaid came up stop the makeup artist and said I need more shimmer on my eyes. Can you put shimmer on my eyes? And that's where I just want to go honey and ate your day get back you know, it's not your day. Um, when I see that kind of stuff happening, I know that's not the right person. And and you know, I quiet I'll just go up and say, you know, it's it's about the bride right now.

Kristina Stubblefield  34:28  
And I think goodness, they have you to do that. But I think when you're picking your squad as you called it, this is more than just wedding day just standing up at an altar or in the front of the ceremony. Those I don't want to say necessarily right or die but like you said the parties the rehearsal dinner, you have a lot of time by the time you get to your wedding. And I think it's really important to put some thought to it but I feel like a lot of people make split second decisions. Oh, you want to be in my wedding. Would you like to I

Sharon Rumsey  35:01  
think they make pressure decisions. Well, it's

Kristina Stubblefield  35:03  
a good point. And

Michael Gaddie  35:04  
you all are talking about the girls.

Kristina Stubblefield  35:06  
Mike, let's talk about the guy. I know

Michael Gaddie  35:08  
we deal with a lot of guys too, with the suits. And you would not believe this just this past month or the over the last two months where we could not even get groomsmen to come in and get fitted, because that was not their priority. Not important. Yeah. You know, we get our suits in on Tuesdays. And we try to have everything done by Thursday at three o'clock. Last week, we had three guys that didn't didn't even come in until Friday morning. And it wasn't their priority.

Kristina Stubblefield  35:40  
Well, And to me, that's not disrespectful to the company. It's also it's not just disrespectful to the company. It's very disrespectful to your bride and groom or your engaged couple.

Michael Gaddie  35:54  
And I mean, I'll be honest with you a couple weeks ago, we had a groom that did not even show up. He put his deposit down on his tux. He did come in or suit. He did come in and get fitted at the last day of cutoff, and did not even come and pick the suit up. Did they get married? Well, it was a groomsmen. Oh, that didn't one of the groomsmen in the bridal party.

Kristina Stubblefield  36:19  
I'd like to see those pictures, what was

Michael Gaddie  36:21  
like, and honestly, they were to the point where you know what, he didn't show up for the rehearsal dinner? He did. They said just forget it.

Sharon Rumsey  36:30  
And two ladies walk with one lucky man and you get rid of that person.

Kristina Stubblefield  36:34  
Sharon? Oh, find a way? Yeah, that's for sure. I

Sharon Rumsey  36:37  
can rearrange it right quick.

Kristina Stubblefield  36:39  
Okay, Mike, I think where do you?

Michael Gaddie  36:42  
Well, changing the topic just a little bit.

Kristina Stubblefield  36:45  
It's another tip. Right? Are we already had our six tip? Thanks. So we are you've done three. I threw in a bonus. And I believe so. Okay, this is gonna be a good seven.

Michael Gaddie  36:57  
But this is a good one. And sharing a back me up on this one. And always talking about? Well, I mean, just going back to getting vendors that work well together.

Sharon Rumsey  37:08  
Amen. Amen.

Michael Gaddie  37:09  
I mean, the thing, the main thing is that if you, you choose so many vendors and they don't get along, or they don't know each other, I would highly recommend, you know, asking if you go and talk to me for So who do you recommend for a cake or caterer or makeup or whatever. And if you work with each other's vendors that we work together with all the time, that's another reason if you did not have a wedding planner, because she's going to get her policy together anyway. But I mean, if they don't have that, least if you're working with a caterer that you work with all the time, floor she work with all the time, everything's going to run so much smoother,

Kristina Stubblefield  37:48  
and there can be helping hands that hop in, when things do happen. I mean, we'd like everything to be just perfect, but there can be things that happen. And when you're used to working with those people, they can jump in and possibly help out, help out when they're done with their stuff. Definitely,

Sharon Rumsey  38:06  
sometimes as a planner, it's a really difficult spot to be in because I'll sit down to meet with a bride. And she'll say, well, I've researched and, you know, this planners a lot or this, I don't know, cater is a lot cheaper than this cater. And so I want to go with this person. But it's, it's a, they don't know what to ask.

Kristina Stubblefield  38:29  
They don't know what they don't

Sharon Rumsey  38:32  
know. And I totally get that money's important, especially nowadays, everybody's really watching their budget. But, you know, have we asked Are they going to bust the tables? Are they going to cut and serve the cake is dinnerware included with that? Are they going to stay to the end of the event? Or is your family going to be taking out the trash? Those are the kind of things so when I recommend a vendor, I know the answers to all my questions. I already know that that person's a professional and I know what level of service they're going to provide. So sometimes I just have to get My Brides to trust me that I'm recommending the best team that I know. Because as a wedding planner, a lot of the times, I'm the first phone call. And when I put my name behind another vendor, a florist a caterer a DJ, I'm putting my business on the line to recommend that person. So I wouldn't do that unless I had 100% confidence in that person. So just trust your wedding planner, that she's got your best interest at heart and that she's going to put together the best team for you.

Kristina Stubblefield  39:35  
And even though you're looking up stuff, online, reviews, pictures, testimonials, different things like that, which is all important. You also need to take in consideration if it's a caterer doing a tasting, if it's your cake, tasting your wedding cake, doing a tasting and really asking those vendors like you have mentioned, who do you want work With Who do you recommend? Because then you're not necessarily forcing them into using the person. You're giving them educated advice, because you will do this almost every weekend, sometimes more often than that. Yeah. Anything else regarding tips? We know we got six, maybe seven tips, maybe a bonus here or there, but I'm

Sharon Rumsey  40:20  
sure we're full of more.

Kristina Stubblefield  40:22  
We could talk about this all night. All day all night. I love to talk wedding. So thank you. For those who tuned in to the episode. We greatly appreciate it. You can follow us on social media, you can go to the website, make sure that you subscribe using your favorite podcast app. And if you like what you hear, we hope that you do right.

Sharon Rumsey  40:45  
Leave a shiny five star review.

Kristina Stubblefield  40:46  
Yes, make sure you take a minute and write a review for the podcast. We greatly appreciate it. And anybody have anything in closing? We look forward to bringing you more tips, tricks, education, and anything else we might think of. I am eventually going to get them to share some stories about the not so perfect side of weddings, but not today. So thanks for tuning in. And we'll see you next time.

Thank you for tuning in to this episode of the ring, doubling and all the things. If you liked what you heard, make sure to hit the subscribe button to get notified of upcoming episodes. You can also visit our website, the ring, the bling and all the things calm for past episodes, and make sure to connect with us on social media. If you would like to help us get the word out about this podcast, make sure to share with your family, your friends and anyone you know in the wedding business.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai