Join Our Wedding Community Today!
Click Here
Aug. 30, 2021

It’s All About Your Mindset!

It’s All About Your Mindset!

In this episode Kristina is  discussing a topic that comes up frequently in her business coaching with clients... and that is MINDSET! We understand hard decisions can be overwhelming! That is why we want you to tune in to this episode to hear what Kristina has to say about stopping the approval and affirmation seeking about decisions that affect YOUR business.

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn’t.” Quote by Erica Jong. Tune in to this episode to hear why you don’t need to ask advice or permission when making decisions that affect your business. You own it! You make the rules!

Don’t miss this episode! Kristina is talking about the importance of MINDSET! As a business owner, minimizing the “what if’s” and talking through your fear/emotions or nervousness about changes with a coach or business confidant can help get you past the hump.

There is a freedom that comes with owning your own business… and some stress occasionally. Remind yourself why you do what you do and what foundation your business was started on before throwing in the towel and punching someone else’s time clock. Listen to this episode to hear all about how to change your mindset when you’re having a tough time in your business.

BY THE TIME YOU FINISH LISTENING, YOU’LL UNDERSTAND Mindset is everything and you are everything to your own business! You’re the boss. You make the rules… and you don’t need anyone’s permission to change how you operate it.

Tell us how you’ve let your mindset get in the way… and then overcame your “stinking” thinking and tag us on Facebook or Instagram @theringtheblingandallthethings

Connect with the host:

Kristina Stubblefield - social media @kristinastubblefield  


Kristina Stubblefield  0:00  
This week, I am discussing a topic that comes up frequently in my business coaching with clients. And that is mindset. I know hard decisions can be overwhelming. That is why I want you to tune into this episode to hear what I have to say about stopping the approval and affirmation seeking about decisions that affect your business. 

Welcome to Marketing Monday, on The Ring The Bling And All The Things podcast. My name is Kristina Stubblefield. And for over 15 years, I've served as a marketing strategist and business coach. Also, I was once a wedding vendor. In these podcast episodes, I'm providing bite sized, digestible marketing solutions, and information that can be immediately implemented, and make an impact on your business. Now, let's dive in to this episode. 

Today's topic is a little bit different than the ones that I've done in the past. But it's something that's come about. Actually, to be honest, it comes about a lot of times, with my coaching clients, I think it's something especially for wedding professionals, that there are a lot of things that run through a person's mind. Actually, it doesn't really matter if you're a wedding professional, or what kind of business you own or operate. You know, there's a thought process that we go through when we're seeking people's approval, or we're looking for affirmations in regards to our business. And I wanted to record an episode that just allowed you some space to really think about some things. Not one that you're going to get away with without some homework. But here's why I'm bringing this topic up. We don't need to talk necessarily about the pandemic. Sure we can bring it up, you know, it changed a lot of people's mindset. You know, life's short, that's nothing new. It's always been that way, whether you have 15 minutes, 15 years, 15 months, no one knows how long they have. And that's not to take a turn with this podcast. That's just the bold truth. And when I first meet with a person that I don't know, or maybe I don't know that well, one of the first questions I asked them is, why do they do what they do? Why did they start their business? I want to know their story. Because when I work through a lot of the marketing, the systems, the processes, how they manage their business, and how they go about a marketing plan, or if they don't have a marketing plan. I want to know, what is the foundation that that business was started on? What were the feelings? What was the situation? Because as businesses take off, grow, go through changes go through ups and downs. Sometimes we have to give ourselves credit to remember, why are we doing what we're doing in the first place? A lot of times, I've had I find myself, I can allow myself to get overwhelmed. You know, I've worked very hard on learning to say no. Learning to balance my time out better. I'm not perfect. And I don't know that there is anyone out there that is perfect. No matter how much training education experience, all of that kitten caboodle you have. I don't really know if there's anyone out there. That's perfect. I don't think so. I definitely can assure you I am not. But I like to be able to go back to that person's Why. Why did they start doing what they do? Because a lot of the conversations I have with people have to do with the C word change. And I've done an episode before. You know a lot of times when people hear the word change, their mind automatically goes somewhere negative.

That they think change means something bad, or there's some because of something bad. There is change happening. I once thought like that But over the years, especially the last couple years, you know, my mind's been opened a whole broad spectrum of the endless possibilities that lie within change. So when I have these conversations with people about, you know, they're being overwhelmed, they can't manage their schedule, their bookings are out of control. They're manually doing things by peek at people calling them emailing messaging, in 14 different channels, this, that, and the other, I really have to open the book completely up to fully understand what's going on right now. So I can help them get to a place where they run their business better, by better, I mean, easier, more streamlined, less stress, less time, because we all get 24 hours in a day. I don't know any way around that. So I have not been able to figure that one out. We all get 24 hours. And a lot of times, this brings up different emotions in people. And sometimes, a lot of times those emotions include nervousness, scared, and what ifs. And most of the time, those what ifs are what if people don't like this? What if this? And what if that? What if? What if you never started your business? Would you be helping the people that you help now? What if you never took that leap of faith and got into business? What if you never became a wedding professional? How many of the people that you've helped bring their special day together and make it as great as it was? I mean, because that's what you're doing as a wedding professional. Someone has a dream of this day, some of these people dreamed about this day, their entire lives for many years, you're helping execute that vision and bring it to life. What if you never started it. And that's a lot of times, you have to talk through this nervousness, this questionable emotions. And sometimes it's being scared. I'm here happy to admit that. You know, I've, I've been scared many of times in the past, something I don't talk a lot about. And I think that is a natural thing in business. But this is what I quickly go to. It's your business. It's no one else's. You make the rules, you make the decisions, you set the expectations. You that's what it comes down to. And I think so much over these last this last year, with COVID. In the wedding industry, there's had to be changes made changes to contracts, changes to procedures, changes to so much. And of course, that can be scary. It's some most of us have never been through something like this. I'd love to say that I hope we never have to go through something like this. But at the end of the day, it is your business. You make the rules, you make the decisions. And you set the expectations. There are times along the way that things cannot stay the way they have been. There has to be adjustments made along the way. Maybe some things were left, open ended or maybe there was room for gray area, but you need to button that up. Because maybe some things have come about or maybe you've just been thinking and you're like you know what, I've had some questions about that. I want to clarify. Here we go right back to clarification and communication. I might talk about communication in almost every episode. That's how important it is. Because this is your business. You get to decide how it operates. What clients you take on when you schedule appointments, how many appointments you do in a day, how many weddings you do in a weekend.

You get to decide that can that be overwhelming making all those decisions? Will hell yes, it can be But there can be a whole nother beautiful side of it. Why? Because you're the one making the decisions, you're not clocking in and out for someone else that gets to make the decisions and the rules and you have to follow them. There's a freedom in owning your own business. Is it always pretty? No, if anyone tells you different, I'm sorry, but they're lying to you. Yeah. If you make adjustments, improvements along the way, you're going to take less stress, you're going to take stress and time, out of your procedures out of your business out of your personal life. If we could all start a business and have it 1,000% from day one, and there's no problems. Congratulations. For most people, that's not the case. But it's being flexible, and allowing yourself the opportunity to grow, to grow as a business. Maybe five years ago, three years ago, maybe a year ago, you didn't have some of the things happening that's happening now. And you need to make adjustments, maybe that's to your booking schedule. Maybe that's to how your appointments are outlined. Maybe that's to your contract. Maybe that's to the day of the event, or execution of the event. Can it be scary making them? It can be. But who gets to dictate your business?

Unknown Speaker  11:47  

Unknown Speaker  11:50  

Kristina Stubblefield  11:53  
Or do you grab the reins and say this is my business, this is how I want it to run. And in order for it to run this way. These are the items that I need to adjust. Or that dreaded C word change. Don't give change or adjustments or improvements, more power than it deserves. Or you can look at it as give it all the power because of the opportunities that lie ahead, because of the adjustments because of the changes. But I always tell people do not give fear. Do not give the what if syndrome, all the power in the way you conduct yourself and run your business. Because you started that business, for the reasons that you started your business. I have some people that say to me, I'm doing it for freedom, I want to set my own schedule, I want to take four vacations a year, I want to pick and choose when I work. I've heard many stories, all wonderful. It's your story. And when people start to lose focus on their original mission of why they started their business, I try to circle people back to that. Because the keys to your business are in your hands. We all seek out approvals. We all seek out people to want to be happy for us and love what we do and and think we're the best. But in reality, I would love to say that everyone does. That's not the truth. If it is for you, that is amazing. But in all honesty, if you're great in business, you probably have people that follow you. Maybe for the right reasons, maybe for the wrong, you probably have people that are jealous. You probably have people that try to copy off of you. You get to decide how you view that, to me, taken me a long time to get here. But to me, it means I'm doing something right. People think it's valuable enough. What me and my team are doing that they also want to try to do it or they want to do a spin off of it. Or they want to try to make something very similar. But there's one thing a person cannot take from you. And that's your authenticity. No one is you just like other businesses that are out there. Almost all of us have competitors have people that have similar businesses to ours. No one business is the same. I've said that many times, no matter if you sell the exact same products in the exact same city, your business is different. Your business rules, your business mission. How you function in your business, your business's personality, are all different. So as the owners, you are your business, no matter what you are your business. You do not need anyone's approval to make changes or adjustments, improvements in your business. You need to do what's best for you and your business. And if you need someone to tell you, that change can be a great thing. And that change is okay. That improvements is okay. then here it is. You have permission to run your business, the best way It fits you, your life, your family, your everything. Because at the end of the day, that business is you. That's one of the things I always like to share people, I'm very fortunate to get people that are just opening a business. Some of them I've worked with before they've gotten an LLC, before they've gotten a logo, before they've gotten a website address. And I tried to tell them from experience, write down

why you are doing this. What is making you want to start this business, because you're going to want to circle back to that many times over. I would love to sell tell someone running a business and being in business for yourself self employed is amazing. There are no bumps in the road, it is just perfect. It's like following the yellow brick road. But honestly, there are bumps along the way. And if there's not, that's great, that should be celebrated. And if you can run your business and make no changes, no adjustments along the way. Great. Now I would question if there were some improvements that need to be made along the way, because technology changes, your target audience changes, your clients change and evolve. There's so much that goes on and so much evolves. So for someone to maybe think that well, I don't need to make any improvements. Now, that doesn't mean there always needs to be changes. If things are going good things are going great. Probably don't want much change. And what I wanted to do with this episode, is just allow yourself time to think where did you start? Where are you now? If there's things in your business that are not functioning correctly, and you're just avoiding them, or it's, you just oh, I don't want to think about it. It's it's like a plague in my business. Like you're just avoiding it. It's not going to go away. It's not going to go away. There are people out there to help you maneuver through these changes these improvements that need to happen. I like to tell people, I hope every day you get up and enjoy what you do. There are a lot of people out there that cannot be self employed. There's a lot of people out there that cannot run their own businesses. It's not for everyone. It is not easy. But I hope every day you enjoy it. Are there going to be difficult days? Yes. Could there be difficult weeks or months? Absolutely. Especially wedding professionals. You know, I hear from a lot of people about what was I thinking a year ago when I took this many events or this many appointments in a month. Gosh, what was I thinking that will allow you to grow and change and make adjustments so that you don't get yourself in that situation again. Communication is key. setting those boundaries and expectations. I didn't know Episode on that recently, you can go back and listen to that. But that's really important in conducting your business the way you want it to run, because I can also tell you from experience, business can get overwhelming quickly. It you can get too many appointments, you can get too many meetings, you can get too many events happening in one week, one month, and you're not sure if you're going to make it through it can be rough. But you can also view it. Evidently, you're doing something right. Now, I'm not saying you don't need more control on adjusting your schedule or saying no, you know, and this can go in so many different directions. And there are episodes I've covered on booking online bookings and things like that, that you can go back and listen to the peace of mind. And the stress that it can save you is unbelievable. But the point of this episode is don't sit around wondering, Well, what if I make this change? How's it going to negatively affect me? Well, what if this? And what if that? What if you didn't start your business? You wouldn't be going through this little bump in the road or bump in business that you need help maneuvering through and it's okay to ask for help. There's a lot of times people come to me for my expertise in saying, okay, here's my 10 steps of how I do something. How in the hell can I save some time? or How can I make this easier for my clients? Or this is an uphill battle every time with an event? What in the world can I do?

That's, that's what I do. It's about systems, and solutions. It's not all just about scheduling social media post. And having a great website. I thoroughly enjoy helping people maneuver through their business systems, setups, processes, to make it more streamlined for the business owner. And for the end user, the client, the potential client. Just don't sit on your hands and be too afraid to make changes or adjustments that will positively affect your own. Let me say that again, positively affect you, your business, your emotions, your mental health, all of those things. Because at the end of the day, those small tweaks, changes improvements, make you a better business and help you provide better service or products to the clients. If you're waiting on approval for someone, I'm here to tell you, if you're self employed, and you may get through another day in business, kudos to you. Because it is something to be said about those, even without what we went through with the pandemic, to get up every day and be in business for yourself is something to be very proud of. And make sure you allow time to embrace the positive the impact you've had on people's lives, the impact you've had on people's weddings, the impact you've had on the start of a couple's new life together. All in all, I hope this episode is made you think, and I know a lot of us don't like to spend time thinking about our business or working on our business systems or our business mindset. Think sometimes the word mindset tends to I don't need any help in my brain. I'm fine. But sometimes it's just refreshing to realize that you are your business. No one else has control over it. Other than you and what a powerful position to be in for yourself, for your family. I get it. Friends, family members they don't understand unless they're self employed. Don't get it. That's one of the things that I probably like the most, especially like wedding shows, or networking opportunities, is being with like minded people, and being able to talk with vendors. And because they get you, they're probably going through something similar, or they've been there at some point in time. So, I hope that you're able to take away something from this episode. Maybe it's just a little clarity. Maybe it was just a moment to be like, you know what, I've got this. I enjoy what I do. Maybe it's just a time for reflection. Sometimes that's all we need is to take a breath, reflect for a moment, realize exactly what all we've accomplished, and what we offer out there to our community and beyond. And then keep going. If you've liked what you've heard, make sure that you subscribe on your favorite podcast platform. Take a minute and write a review. I do read all of those, or you can send me a message. Follow me on social media. I genuinely love what I do. I love helping others. And there's no greater joy than helping others with something that is important as their business, helping them get over hurdles, helping them from doing 20 steps. Maybe it's down to 10 steps, helping them get back some of their time. Some of our sanity is what some people say to me. I genuinely enjoy it and have for many, many years, and I look forward

to keep doing what I've always done. Until next time, everyone stay safe and keep working your business.

Thank you for tuning in to this Marketing Monday episode of The Ring The Bling And All The Things. If you would like to get notified of upcoming episodes, make sure to click the subscribe or the Follow button on your favorite podcast platform.

We welcome any feedback from topic ideas to questions you may have. You can visit our website for previous episodes, or to send us a message just visit

Transcribed by