Gimme 3 Steps!

Sharon Rumsey  0:00  
most couples spend their whole relationship talking about what their dream day is going to look like, and making plans for exactly what they want it to be. But now that you finally got that ring on your finger,

Michael Gaddie  0:09  
do you know exactly where to start? And there are three steps every couple needs to take before the rest of the planning can fall into place. And these three things are biggies.

Kristina Stubblefield  0:20  
You don't want to miss this episode. We're gonna dive deep into budget, venue and date. So stay tuned. You got engaged, now what? Happy? Yes, joyful time, of course, stressed and overwhelmed. 100%. Don't worry, you're in the right place. Welcome to the ring, the blink and all the things where we will get you from down on one knee to down the aisle. We'll cover all things from yes to I do's and all that happens in between. Hi, I'm Kristina Stubblefield, one of your hosts, along with my two good friends, Michael Gaddie. And Sharon Rumsey. With over 50 years of wedding experience between us. We have seen it, heard it, done it and found a way around it. So buckle up and enjoy the journey. Now, let's get started with this episode.

Okay, so someone just got engaged. They want their dog to come down the aisle with them. They want to get married at sunset. And they want to make sure that all of their family and friends are there. They have so many people that they want to bring in. Oh my goodness, they got to have a chocolate fountain. And they're wanting appetizers they're wanting beautiful flowers. And oh, and what a string quartet?

Sharon Rumsey  1:56  
Yes, in the new Taylor Swift song. But now

Kristina Stubblefield  1:59  
I want to come in at a horse and carriage but I want to leave in a limo. Okay.

Sharon Rumsey  2:05  
With a balloon exit.

Kristina Stubblefield  2:06  
This can all happen, right? Absolutely. It's my day, right? So I can do what I want and

Michael Gaddie  2:12  
do whatever you want. As long as you have the budget for it.

Kristina Stubblefield  2:17  
We got to talk about budget.

Sharon Rumsey  2:20  
We do we have to talk about budget, the B word because a B word the B word we got to start but

Kristina Stubblefield  2:29  
okay, but I want to have this barn, you know, with this beautiful valley where the sun setting? You know, I just that's what I picture that is that's where I want my ceremony to be?

Sharon Rumsey  2:39  
Well, my answer would be I want you to have that too. But let's see if we can afford it. And if not, let's take what we can afford and make it epic.

Kristina Stubblefield  2:46  
What What if they don't allow my dog to walk come down the aisle with me?

Sharon Rumsey  2:50  
Then we need to decide if that's your venue or not. Ah,

Kristina Stubblefield  2:53  
goodness. So I got I'm not starting in the right place. No, I got all these ideas. Got a backup sister. Okay, so I guess we should tell our listeners Today's topic is we're going to talk about the first three steps after engagement. And a couple little sprinkles of tips along the way, right?

Sharon Rumsey  3:13  
We can always sprinkle

Kristina Stubblefield  3:14  
Alright, Sharon's favorite word is the B word. She likes to talk about budget. I feel like you just deflated my balloon, is that how others are gonna feel

Sharon Rumsey  3:24  
it is but I would rather deflate your balloon. Right now, when we're maybe a year year and a half away from your wedding, then I would to deflate your balloon six months before your wedding when we're having to change things because you didn't realize how much they were going to cost? Well, but

Kristina Stubblefield  3:40  
what if I think this person, you know, the parents, I mean, it's okay. It's good. I can think they're gonna pay for it. Right?

Sharon Rumsey  3:50  
You can. And they can tell you know, later on, and then you can be devastated. Or we can sit everyone down and have a frank and honest conversation about who's going to pay for what and how much they're willing to contribute that way you know, where you're starting, you know, who's going to contribute? And one of the things that will really help, honestly, is it will help avoid hurt feelings later, because sometimes family members don't realize that you thought they were going to contribute and maybe they're not able to. So you don't want those hurt feelings to come in and sour your wedding planning because you want the wedding planning project process to have a lot of joy.

Kristina Stubblefield  4:28  
You surely can't agree with her right mind?

Michael Gaddie  4:30  
Well, it's been many years since I got married 30, almost 30 years. But so sharing with you being the wedding planner, and I'm the groom and my bride, and I come to you and say, okay, Sharon, where do I start? How do I even set a budget? I don't even know what I mean. I don't know what budget I have.

Kristina Stubblefield  4:50  
I just had to get married in the valley with the horse and carriage. I'm gonna leave in a limo. I want a chocolate. You were telling me that I might not be Be able to have all these things?

Sharon Rumsey  5:00  
Well, you are my ideal client. However,

Kristina Stubblefield  5:06  
my reality is My

Sharon Rumsey  5:08  
job

Kristina Stubblefield  5:09  
involves a lot of education. Reality is what she's trying to say, Oh, right,

Sharon Rumsey  5:15  
I would say let's narrow that budget down, one of the first things I would tell you is we are in the Louisville, Kentucky metro area. here in Louisville, the average wedding right now is about 35 to $40,000. That's the average I've done gorgeous weddings that were a lot less than that. And I've done gorgeous weddings that were a lot more than that. But that's about the average. So we need to discuss that. And we need to see what you think you're going to be able to, to put toward your wedding.

Kristina Stubblefield  5:47  
I think I might arrive in my own vehicle now.

Sharon Rumsey  5:51  
And maybe your dog doesn't need that flower color. Oh, for sure

Kristina Stubblefield  5:55  
my dog's gonna get whatever you want. But getting this topic in all seriousness, getting this topic out of the way allows you to enjoy your engagement, plan your wedding, and everyone be on the same page from the beginning, not halfway through, not partially down the road. It's all out there in the open. And you can move forward with your planning with a clear mind. More importantly, some actual numbers on paper.

Sharon Rumsey  6:24  
Well, and you know, a lot of people say, well, traditionally, the bride's parents pay for this. And traditionally, the groom's parents pay for that. And we don't always see that anymore. So we kind of want to just have that family discussion, both sets of parents, maybe maybe there aren't any parents involved, maybe the couple's paying for everything. So we just need to have that discussion. And then as a wedding planner, that helps me know where to start. And like I said, I can take any wedding and I can make it gorgeous. But I need to know, you know, if you have $100,000 budget, and you want certain things, then we're going to go to these venues to look, if you have a $30,000 budget, we're going to go to these venues to look at it doesn't mean any wedding is going to be less or more, it just tells me where to start.

Kristina Stubblefield  7:10  
Well, the other thing too is when you're making your budget, that also allows you to start putting in order what's most important to you. So that way you can make sure these things are ironclad, there is no wavering on these items. Once a

Sharon Rumsey  7:24  
client signs my contract, I send out what's called my initial client questionnaire. And it literally says what elements of the wedding are most important to you? What elements are the least important to you? And ask a bunch of other questions, What's your ideal date, you know, a favorite date night, that kind of thing. And it's fun to get to know my couples, but it also helps me go through. And you know, say they say the look of the wedding is the most important to them, then I know we're gonna chalk a lot more money to work florals. And if I need to cut their budget, because I I do manage their budgets with them. So if I need to cut their budget down the way, I'm going to cut something else, I'm not going to cut the core.

Kristina Stubblefield  8:04  
Well, and the other thing too is most of the time, weddings tend to fit the couples, your if you're more into rustic in one an outdoor space, and things like that, that wedding theme, things regarding that wedding are probably going to be in that wheelhouse for that couple.

Michael Gaddie  8:28  
So Sharon when it comes to budgeting for the whole party itself at the wedding. So I know Like for example, florals, usually run eight to 10%. Now when it comes to venues and food and catering and that kind of thing. What should what should the couple be looking for.

Sharon Rumsey  8:48  
I usually tell couples that when they add their venue plus their catering bill together, it should be between 36 and 40% of their budget.

Kristina Stubblefield  8:57  
That's good info.

Sharon Rumsey  8:58  
That's your that's your biggest chunk of money are those two things.

Kristina Stubblefield  9:01  
And then it just depends on the other items that they're wanting to be part of their big day.

Sharon Rumsey  9:06  
Right. And one of the other things that I really, really recommend a couple does, and I call it a contingency fund. I know like we did some remodeling in our house. And when we got a budget from the contractor, he had what he called a contingency fund. And that's for things you don't expect that are going to come up that come up. So I usually recommend that we do about 5% of the budget into that contingency fund. So that if she looks at florals and she finds something she absolutely loves and has to have, that's going to maybe throw her over. That's fine. Or if Gosh, I don't know, we need to get a bigger party bus because now you've decided you want to add bridesmaids then I can pull from that contingency fund to cover those unexpected costs.

Kristina Stubblefield  9:56  
I would think that is probably a really important thing with what's going on, you know, and right now,

Michael Gaddie  10:02  
well, let me ask you this. So how often does I know we're talking about budget and stuff? But how often does it kind of veer off from their budget? How do you

Sharon Rumsey  10:11  
say again, I would say about three fourths of my clients end up going over their budget?

Kristina Stubblefield  10:17  
I mean, it's just one time it's getting married. It's this, it's only gonna be this time. And and sometimes, and that's

Michael Gaddie  10:25  
what I hear from My Brides. You know, I mean, as you know, you know, how I do my consultations, we put I don't put no limitations on it, I get put on the paper exactly everything that she wants. Well, no, not always, is it eight to 10%, it may be 15 to 20%. But then you turn it back to you, and you automatically say, hey, well, that's a little over your budget. So where else do we need to cut,

Sharon Rumsey  10:50  
sometimes I'll be in an appointment with Mike. And I know he loves it. When I do this, I'll say now let's remember your budget. Because they get in that flower shop and their eyes just

Michael Gaddie  11:01  
roll my eyes that are like shut

Sharon Rumsey  11:03  
their eyes just start

Kristina Stubblefield  11:04  
twinklin. Well, and I'm gonna bring this back to wedding planner. Number one, professional vendors up most important. And can a lot of times work with your budget, depending big disclaimer there, depending. But a lot of times a wedding planner can help you stick to a budget, a lot of times people think, oh, wedding planner, that's just an additional cost. And I'm not putting words in people's mouth, things that I've heard. But in all honesty, they can save you money. And I'm not just saying this to that, they really can play a vital role with staying on budget, and also maybe saving some money. So you can have maybe a chocolate fountain that originally wasn't budgeted, or that specialty item, if we want to call it that. That wasn't necessarily at the top of your list. But if I could have it would be nice. I just had a client.

Sharon Rumsey  11:59  
Also a client I shared with Mike. They hired me after they had booked their venue and their catering. So I went to my first meeting with them. We're sitting at a coffee shop, sweetest little couple. And they tell me their budget to find budget. And I say what venue? And they tell me, I kind of went, huh? Then I asked what cater, they told me was the most expensive caterer in level 60% of their budget was gone. And all we had was a venue and a cater. So I wish that and now they would tell you the same. I had been on board when those decisions were made, because I wouldn't have let them make those decisions. Because

Kristina Stubblefield  12:44  
the venue and the catering is not all of the event. There's a whole lot more to

Sharon Rumsey  12:52  
that. And honestly, honestly, they're the sweetest young couple, but they just didn't think it through. You know, they literally looked at me and said, Oh my gosh, that's over half our budget.

Kristina Stubblefield  13:03  
And they probably have not been down this road before they haven't. And most people haven't been

Sharon Rumsey  13:08  
and honestly at their age, I wouldn't have thought it through either. Okay,

Kristina Stubblefield  13:11  
so you brought us into venue. We've talked a lot about budget, it's one of the top things you got to talk about. But let's talk about venue. Because, you know, a lot of times, and then we're going to talk about date. But let's go with venue Sharon, what should they know about venue? Why does that need to be at the top of the list?

Sharon Rumsey  13:29  
Well, I think that once you pick your budget,

Kristina Stubblefield  13:34  
then we can start I can pick my budget, I don't have to make out my budget, I can just

Sharon Rumsey  13:39  
pick a budget, you can talk to your family and arrive at a good number. There we go. But I think that one of the next things, you know, are in my opinion, the first three things I'll just go ahead and spoil the next step that we need to do is budget venue and then date.

Kristina Stubblefield  13:53  
Okay, so was the budget second or wise?

Michael Gaddie  13:55  
Man, you suck?

Kristina Stubblefield  13:56  
What has been you? See, I'm chumps. So you start talking about this B word,

Sharon Rumsey  14:00  
because you can't be proud of Patty bride, and come to me and want to go to the most expensive venue there is in Lowell. And tell me that you have a $20,000 budget.

Kristina Stubblefield  14:11  
Well, and this goes for anywhere, no matter where you are correct.

Sharon Rumsey  14:16  
And then you also, if you're going to have a firm date in mind a date you just have to have maybe it's your parents wedding anniversary, I don't know, then you're going to have to be extremely flexible choosing your venue, because the venue you have in mind might not have your date available.

Kristina Stubblefield  14:34  
So you're really bringing these three together budget venue and date, right because they're all intertwined.

Sharon Rumsey  14:39  
So what I asked my people to do is to pick maybe five dates, that would be okay with them. Then when we go looking at venues, I want to make sure that venue fits in their budget. I want to make sure that venue fits what they've told me they want. You know, if they want a ballroom wedding, I'm not going to take them to a barn And then I want to make sure that venue has one of the dates that they've chosen available. So if you walk in there with maybe five different dates, it would all work. Chances are, if you're, if you're planning early enough, one of those is going to be available.

Kristina Stubblefield  15:12  
And you bring up a very valuable point here. Back to wedding planner, which sorry, Mike, gotta say it, sorry, but but if you know, your budget, and you know that you can your budget, this venue fits in your budget. But you know, they don't have any of these dates available. You could be wasting a meeting or a trip, depending on how far it is, by going there, and

Sharon Rumsey  15:36  
you're wasting the venue owners time as well. Yes, or the venue staffs time as well. So it makes perfect. And another thing when looking at a venue, you want to look at what's included. Because a lot of times brides will tell me it wasn't that expensive, it really wasn't. But

Kristina Stubblefield  15:53  
then I go, does it come with tables and chairs? No. Does it come with linens? No, you know, so by the time you and another thing is some places charge extra for you to have a ceremony there, right? And not just you get the whole venue. But so

Sharon Rumsey  16:07  
an experienced wedding planner will know most of the venues in the area. If it's a venue I haven't been to before, then I always want a sample contract before I go for the walkthrough. So that I can see what's included and what's not. Because when you get into those rentals, and Mike can speak to this probably better than I can you really really, um, we're doing a wedding together at a distillery next year. And her rental bill is going to be over $7,000 Wow.

Michael Gaddie  16:36  
Well, and that's the thing too, you know, if you go to a venue that doesn't have a they want to pop a tent up in the in the field or something. I mean, that tent you think is going to be less expensive. But you're but you're it could come out to be more expensive. Because you're written the tables, you're in the chairs, you're renting the tent, you're written in decorations. I mean,

Sharon Rumsey  16:56  
if it rains that day, right inside the tent. Yeah, exactly. So

Kristina Stubblefield  17:00  
forget about the dance floor. If you're doing something out there,

Michael Gaddie  17:02  
everything, you're actually building a venue yourself, even though the venue is supplying the property, you're still written everything that goes in it more,

Kristina Stubblefield  17:14  
it does end up being more having a clear picture of what's included at the venue. That's what makes it such an important step, because that goes to your budget. And what

Sharon Rumsey  17:27  
happens is, couples sit down and they just see Oh, it costs X amount to rent this venue. And I looked over here and it costs more, but maybe that venue that you thought costs more, you're not going to have to rent anything. So it's just really and not not to, you know, do a wedding planner commercial. But it's it's really important to have someone that is used to looking at that stuff, sit down with you and and go over the contract and see what's included. Another thing is how many hours are included. Some places let you have your venue all day, some places, it's just a couple hours before the event. And that that all goes into play as well.

Michael Gaddie  18:07  
And that's really important too, because a lot of venues will only let you come in at two o'clock, but they have the wedding and the weddings at four. And then you got to be out by 11 o'clock. A lot of times to a venue Will you automatically assume and there's some that been used that will let you do this one in here in Los Angeles, for example, you can get in at eight o'clock that morning. And they have until 2am that after you know that am in the morning to get out of there. A lot of people just have four or five hours. So it depends on your decorations that you have that you have time to put them up. And

Sharon Rumsey  18:41  
that's also where hiring your experienced vendor comes into play. Because if you have only two hours before your event, to to decorate, you want a florist that can come in there and get it done. If not your budgets gonna it's gonna have be more money out of your budget because you're gonna have to pay for extra time you're gonna have to pay for extra hours and some venues I call it nickel and diamond dust is a phrase my dad used to use, they will nickel and dime you to death. Oh, you want a ceremony space? That's going to be more you want chairs in your ceremony space? Yeah, that's $1 a chair that's $10 a chair.

Kristina Stubblefield  19:17  
So some places do. Here's what all you get, you get these 10 things, these 10 items come with this or these 10 bullet points are really do

Sharon Rumsey  19:26  
try to try to save my clients almost as much as they pay me for my service. I feel like that's it's my job to really watch out for their money just like it's my own. And those are the kind of things you just really have to look for.

Kristina Stubblefield  19:38  
Well, and I think we need, we said we'd sprinkle in here a couple other tips. I think one of the other things to think about is if you there are some vendors, professional vendors out there, they can only do one event, a day, a day one of in a day, and if that's somebody that you really want to use or if it's a specialty vendor that you really Want to have, that's got to go somewhere at the top of the first steps that you do after engagement. You want to say a little bit more about that sure.

Sharon Rumsey  20:08  
What I always tell my clients, we're going to do budget, we're going to do venue, we're going to do date. The next thing we're going to go to are people that can only do one event today, makeup artist, hairstylist, your what your wedding planner, I'm one wedding a weekend and my whole weekends tied up when I have a wedding. So I can't do two in one day. You want to book those people first, say there's a certain musician you want for your ceremony. You know, they can't be it to photographer, there's a lot of photographers, that's great photographer videographer. Absolutely. So you want to book those people next.

Kristina Stubblefield  20:48  
Because then if you've picked a date, and that's chiseled in that this is the date regardless of anything else, those people that you may really want that's done your hair for 10 or 12 years, they might not be able to do that.

Sharon Rumsey  21:01  
And then my next thing that I do, honestly, one of my first vendors always is makeup, because it is very hard to find a qualified airbrush makeup artist. So that's one of my very first calls always. But then after those people that can only do one event a day, I go to those vendors that I love to work with, but I know so does everyone else. So they're in high demand. And even if they do several events a day, there's still a limit.

Kristina Stubblefield  21:30  
I know and they tend to bulk out a lot further correct than others.

Sharon Rumsey  21:35  
I know. You know, just to use Mike for an example I Lloyd's floors does probably 99% of my weddings, I can only think of two weddings I've done without him. So I know how busy he is and how much he books. So he's he's Honestly,

Kristina Stubblefield  21:52  
I will call and I will put the client on his book, and let them have an initial chat with him. And then he'll but I want to say something to that point. It's not only just because you want Mike to do their flowers. It's also you know, the professionalism that is involved there. You know that if there's a limited time to set up a ceremony or to set up a reception, they can get in, get out there not need to be extra time, things that also can take away from the budget. When you use someone that has done as many events that Mike has, if you're decorating for ceremony reception, and there's a lot of moving pieces in there, you know what's going to come together as

Sharon Rumsey  22:34  
a planner. And I think I've said this on other episodes that we've done selfishly, I want my a team. Because my job is easier. When I go in there with people that I know and I I trust them. And I know that they're going to get the job done, then I'm not taking away from my bride to go deal with any problems. So those vendors that are really super popular.

Unknown Speaker  22:59  
They're gonna book up fast,

Sharon Rumsey  23:00  
they're gonna book really fast also. So I'll you know, Mike will tell you that he doesn't he doesn't like to do a final floral consultation till the bride has her dress and knows the colors of the wedding. Honestly, most of my brides know the colors of her wedding when they're 12 years old. They've had those colors picked out forever,

Kristina Stubblefield  23:19  
probably on their Pinterest boards,

Sharon Rumsey  23:21  
but you don't know the color of their dress. Is it ivory? Is it champagne? Are there pink undertones? So we'll just get on his book. And then once I know that, that we're on the book, and he saved a spot for us, then we have more time to later go in and finalize everything. And

Kristina Stubblefield  23:38  
he doesn't have to speak a lot during this episode, because we're speaking for him about him. Sorry about his business, right? Oh, you're still here? Yes, there you are.

Michael Gaddie  23:47  
But you know, when you say you're 18 I mean, the thing about that is you've got 1516 vendors that you work with all the time. And then we all work with each other all the time too. And that makes it a lot easier. Not really going with your budget or anything but I mean least it's given the broad and you comfortable being comfortable with what's going on. And you know, everything is going to run smooth and correctly.

Kristina Stubblefield  24:15  
And that probably should be one of the steps after engagement is really consider hard about professional vendors being a part of your team on the day of your event. Because this is a whole nother episode. But it's not if something's going to happen.

Michael Gaddie  24:37  
It's right when some good something is going to happen. And the thing about it is if you've got a good team, we're going to go on with it and we're going to make it happen no matter what. It's how it's handled and, and 90% of the time the bride never knows anything about it. And that's the way it should be. Absolutely

Sharon Rumsey  24:54  
that's our job. So yeah, and

Michael Gaddie  24:57  
I mean it could be something very minor or it could be something major So I mean, I mean, but it doesn't matter. Either way, the wedding's don't want to happen no matter what. And it's gonna run smooth and harass.

Sharon Rumsey  25:09  
There's some times that if my bride is having her ceremony in a different site than her reception, I'm at that ceremony with my bride. So I have to know that what's happening at that reception is her

Kristina Stubblefield  25:23  
vision is what has been planned. according to plan,

Sharon Rumsey  25:26  
we're going to be on time. Because you know, when I'm going to show up, I'm going to show up with the bride. It's, it's it needs to be ready to go. So if I have, you know, the right cater the right floor, so right, DJ,

Kristina Stubblefield  25:37  
you don't have to question it's, you know, what's being done,

Sharon Rumsey  25:39  
I usually send my assistant to the reception side, and I'll set during ceremony and yes, I text during the ceremony, and I know I shouldn't, but I will pull out your job,

Unknown Speaker  25:48  
you're making sure that

Sharon Rumsey  25:49  
I will pull out my phone and I'll text my assistant and she'll say, oh, Mike's here, it looks great. The caterers are setting up DJs here. And then I can just take a deep breath, get refocused on what that bride needs right after ceremony. And it's all good.

Kristina Stubblefield  26:04  
And it just runs smooth. We pray? Yeah, that's it. Well, and I think this is really something that you have to after engagement. You know, you want to enjoy that engagement. But you have to start putting some thoughts to these items, especially budget, venue and date. And there's a lot of times where people have, oh, you know, my mom's friend or so and so is a wedding professional. And I definitely want to make sure I use them. Having that those discussions and those thoughts and those planning things right out of the gate will help make the whole thing easier. No matter if your weddings in six months, a year and a half. However, you're setting that up.

Sharon Rumsey  26:51  
And there's nothing wrong. When you do get engaged. There's nothing wrong with with having that moment, you know, taking a beat, enjoying the fact that you just got engaged, maybe let someone throw you an engagement party. You know, there's nothing wrong with having that moment. So I always tell people don't don't feel like you have to call me the next day. You know, there's

Kristina Stubblefield  27:11  
people that have been planning these, their wedding in their minds, since they were a little girls. And that is something they're so excited. When's the next wedding show? Or what do I need to do first or, you know, they start researching, and these bringing out these three steps to really focus on first will make the rest of the planning easier. Once you get these three decisions made. It's kind of good to go. So then I can look about my carriage and my limo, my dog coming down the aisle, all those exciting things, all that'll happen. All the things. Yes. Well, we can't wait to read some of your stories about your engagement. Maybe some stories from your first three steps about the B word that Sharon always likes to talk about budget venue date, share with us, what's your date? How are you in the planning process, things like that. We'd love to discuss it on the podcast. And you could always engage with us on social media. And until next time, anything else guys? Just have the budget discussion. Come on Sharon.

Sharon Rumsey  28:23  
You know you want to close say the B word.

Kristina Stubblefield  28:24  
Just say it budget. Absolutely. Alright, until next time, stay safe.

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