First Things First

Sharon Rumsey  0:00  
Wedding planning is extra. wedding planning is a lot. wedding planning is overwhelming.

Michael Gaddie  0:07  
Take a beat and enjoy being engaged for a little while,

Kristina Stubblefield  0:11  
then join us as we help you understand what things you need to think about before you dive in deep. Let's get married. 

You got engaged. Congratulations. Happy. Yes. joyful time. Of course. Now what timelines to do lists and checklists. 100% Don't worry, you're in the right place. Welcome to The Ring The Bling And All The Things. Hi, I'm Kristina Stubblefield, one of your hosts, along with my two good friends, Michael Gaddie and Sharon Rumsey. We have over 50 years of wedding industry experience between us. We have seen it, heard it, done it and found a way around it. We are here to get you from down on one knee to down the aisle. Our podcast will cover everything from you saying yes to the I do's and all that happens in between. So buckle up and enjoy the journey. Now let's get started with this episode.

Are we dive into this episode I want to share a listener of the week. This listener Unfortunately, they did not share their name with us says great podcast for brides. If you're planning a wedding, this is the podcast for you. You will learn so many great tips to help make your big day amazing. Thank you so much for everyone that's taken time to write a review for us on whatever your favorite podcast platform is. Mike Sharon, I know we have a great episode who's going to start this one off.

Sharon Rumsey  2:00  
I'll be happy to start it off.

Kristina Stubblefield  2:01  
Okay, go for it.

Sharon Rumsey  2:03  
So tonight, we're going to talk about First things first, those four or five things that you absolutely have to wrap your mind around before you can move forward with your wedding planning.

Kristina Stubblefield  2:16  
That's awesome. Mike, are you going to get a word in edgewise here?

Michael Gaddie  2:19  
So what do you recommend share?

Sharon Rumsey  2:23  
You guys have they always

Kristina Stubblefield  2:25  
here? And we don't always pick on you sometimes me and you pick on Mike, but we have no, no. Okay. But we've got some great tips in this episode. Right?

Sharon Rumsey  2:35  
We really do. And I will take one for the team and get us started off.

Kristina Stubblefield  2:38  
Awesome. Let's go.

Sharon Rumsey  2:39  
So I think one of the first things a bride needs to do, and we've talked about this before is have an open and frank discussion with everyone involved in this wedding, about the budget who's paying for what who's going to be responsible for what, because we kind of have to know how much money we have to spend in order to move forward in our wedding planning. having this discussion will absolutely avoid hurt feelings later on down the line. And it also will kind of let your wedding planner or your vendors know how much you have to spend and where to take you in your wedding planning process. You know, like if we have a X amount of budget, then we're gonna look at these venues if we have a y budget, we're might look at different venues. So that's a really important thing to hash out in the beginning.

Michael Gaddie  3:33  
Well, and when you sit down and you come up with a total budget, you have I think you have a diagram like where so much spent on flowers, so much is spent on food so much is spent on DJ and then that come makes it their budget may not be really a reality. So after they go to a few venues or places or vendors, they can adjust that budget in ways correct. I

Sharon Rumsey  4:00  
can usually tell them at the beginning if they tell me a number and say you tell me your budget is $25,000 and you tell me that you want all these florals and I know those florals are gonna cost $20,000 we can't get a venue. feed everyone and hire a DJ for the 5000 we have left.

Michael Gaddie  4:23  
Well and that thing that's one thing too I think that brides need to prioritize what's more important to them? Yeah, if the flowers are more important or the food is more important, or maybe the music is more important.

Kristina Stubblefield  4:36  
Kiran, one of the things that I think about when you were just talking about that. It really helps you put together kind of a map to map out what their most important items are. And you can save a person so much time because if if they're thinking they have 15 $100 to spend on it. venue, but the type of venue they want is three, four or $5,000. Some conversations need to take place before you spend any more time meeting with other vendors. Because you're also taking their time as well. It's really so much more than just saving a person. Time. I mean, there's stress. There's a whole lot of other things with that.

Sharon Rumsey  5:22  
Well, that's that's why one of my first questions when we have our initial consultation, is what element of the wedding is most important to you? Is that the atmosphere? If that's the answer, I need an epic DJ, I need some awesome lighting. Is it the food? Is it floral? Is that the overall look of the wedding? So I need to understand what's most important to that bride, because it's different for every single person. So what's most important to her? Not only does that tell me where to focus my energy, but it also tells me where is what do I need to cut if that budget starts going over? So whatever she tells me is most important, it would be the last thing that I would recommend cutting.

Michael Gaddie  6:02  
That's smart. You better bring me the product that has most important with the flowers.

Sharon Rumsey  6:07  
I do I do?

Michael Gaddie  6:10  
The biggest thing, the biggest worry on wedding day. What What do you see going on when people say

Sharon Rumsey  6:17  
that's another question that I always ask My Brides to wrap their head around when they sit down and talk about wedding planning? What is their biggest worry about the next 12 months, eight months, however long we have? What's the biggest worry about planning? Once she wraps her head around that? First of all, it reinforces that she probably needs some help. Because it is usually not knowing what to do when or not having time to do everything and do it correctly and do it when it should be done.

Michael Gaddie  6:51  
Well, in today's society to with people wrapped up in their jobs, people, family, people are so busy, they need a professional to help them plan.

Sharon Rumsey  7:01  
Then the next question I asked them is what is their biggest worry when they think about wedding day? Believe it or not. And I'm in a group of wedding planners on Facebook. And we've actually all talked about this before. Almost every bride has some type of bad dream leading up to her wedding. And oftentimes they'll share with me. But they have some type of dream that they keep having a recurrent dream over and over and over again. And it's usually the biggest worry about their wedding. Some of them worry about falling. So they'll dream repeatedly that they fall. Other ones dream that the caterer didn't show up. And so everyone's there, and there's no food. But once I start to hear those biggest worries, what usually comes out is that they are just worried about the day being chaotic. And they are worried about forgetting something. Everything not falling into place on the right timeline. So I think if you just can kind of wrap your head around all your worries, and get rid of the ones that just don't make any sense. Like I had one bride, that dream, she saw a snake. And when she saw a snake, she jumped and she fell off the curb, and she knocked all of her front teeth out in her wedding dress, ready to walk down the aisle. That's a silly dream.

Michael Gaddie  8:15  
That's a nightmare.

Sharon Rumsey  8:16  
That's a nightmare. And she kept having it night after night after night. But if you continually dream that you're running behind, are if you're at work and you're trying to focus, but you start worrying that your wedding day is going to be chaos, then we know that that's an area that we need to be extra careful and make sure that your timeline is just dot, dot dot and every i is dotted, every T is crossed. And you you go into that day ready and prepared. So that it things aren't chaotic, and you can relax and be a guest at your own wedding.

Michael Gaddie  8:48  
Well, I see a lot of weddings. And if I can give any advice to anyone, it would be to have a day planner or a whole planner. Because the ones that I see that is chaos is the one that doesn't have a planner and mom and the bride are the ones making sure everything runs smoothly. And you know what? That's the last thing on their mind when it comes to that day. They're worried about getting their fingers, their nails done, their hair done. And their makeup and they're not worried about okay is the caterer going to be there on time is the flowers showed up when they're supposed to be there, and so on. So it's so important to have someone designated to make sure that you know, so that don't have to worry about it that day.

Sharon Rumsey  9:34  
Yeah. It's amazing sometimes to brides to find out that things are wedding planner handles on their wedding day that they knew nothing about. I'll have brides all the time that when they get back from their honeymoon, they'll text me and they'll be like, Oh my gosh, my bridesmaid told me you handled this and this and this I had no idea. And what that does is make me feel really great because it means I did my job. So if there's not someone in place to handle all those things, they're going to go to The bride or they're going to go to the mother of the bride. And that person then becomes a worker at this wedding, and not a VIP at the wedding.

Michael Gaddie  10:08  
And really, you don't want a friend for a close friend and handle it. But can you experience that close friend? What are they going to do? Well, let me go call the bride, let me let me go and make a call mom. And that's just as bad. So if you have a person professionally hired to do that job, then no one has to worry about it. You know, that's another thing too. This is a little bit off track. But I mean, just for an example, when brides and moms comes in, say, Oh, I can save money by doing my own bout of candles or doing my own basis? Why would you spend that money and travel from point A to point B to try to gather those devices up, where you can hire a professional to do it, and let them do it all yourself that you won't have to worry about setting them up, you don't have to worry about taking them away. And it's just another one less thing that you're going to have to stress about. worry about

Sharon Rumsey  11:00  
having professionals in place that do this weekend after weekend after weekend, you know, just the same as I wouldn't try to come into your floral shop and make floral arrangements, because that's your area of expertise. It's not what I do. I think that when when we try to put our friends and family in place of a wedding professional, not only are we probably by more stress for ourselves, but we're stressing those people out because you're asking them to step out of their comfort zone, and to do something they aren't trained or experienced enough to do.

Kristina Stubblefield  11:34  
Well, one of the things I think about is you can you can have a plan, you can get there to that day, but you don't know what's going to come up. And you don't know what you don't know. And those professionals, they've probably come across that in the past, and like you mentioned, can handle it with no seen you not even knowing anything went on until you find out after your honeymoon. That's one of the things that I think people don't realize is what all can happen. During that live event is happening right then in there. There's no do overs, we've you can go back and listen to some of our past episodes about that. There's so many things intertwined here in that event.

Sharon Rumsey  12:16  
100%. And I think that it's I just can't say enough how important it is to again, establish that a team get wedding professionals in every single category. And then you go get your hair and makeup done, take your mom with you, and be a guest at your own event. I think too, you know, we're talking about what all a couple needs to wrap their head around, as once they're engaged. Take a beat, take a few months, weeks to enjoy being engaged. But before you start planning, we've got we've talked about going over your budget. Deciding what element of the wedding day is most important to you. Deciding what your biggest worry is with planning what your biggest worry is on wedding day. And once you've wrapped your head around all those things, and you can give good solid answers for those things. The next question is, think about what style best describes your vision for your wedding? And don't give me some generic I want it to be pretty. What style describes your wedding

Michael Gaddie  13:25  
or romantic I mean, that doesn't say much

Kristina Stubblefield  13:27  
okay, but we agile

Sharon Rumsey  13:29  
use adjectives. Is it boho chic? Is it rustic country, you know, you really need to get an idea of what your vision is most. Most Brides, when you close your eyes, and you picture that reception space, they're going to see something when they close their eyes, and they just picture and I ask this at every consultation, just take a beat, close your eyes, what is this room look like? And when I do that those adjectives start coming out and they can tell me what they see. For their wedding. I'm going to take those words, and I'm going to take them with me to every appointment we have, I'm going to tell it to the florist and the cater and the lighting person. So I think it's really really important to know your vision. And if it doesn't have a name, just jot down those adjectives and we'll come up with a name for your vision.

Michael Gaddie  14:19  
Very good point. Very good point. I love that.

Kristina Stubblefield  14:21  
This is all really good information. I mean, you're laying the foundation for all of their wedding planning.

Sharon Rumsey  14:26  
Yep, this is all where it starts.

Kristina Stubblefield  14:29  
That's really good. All right, what else we got?

Sharon Rumsey  14:31  
Your next step should be to call your qualified wedding planner. No, I'm just teasing. After that,

Michael Gaddie  14:37  
of course. Oh, that should be first.

Sharon Rumsey  14:39  
Yes, that's true. But once we know these things, and once we've wrapped our head around these and we have them down pat, then it's time to start booking your vendors. And I think we're going to talk about that at length at a later time.

Kristina Stubblefield  14:53  
That's been really good. I mean, this little bit of information, I think can make a world of difference. With planning, I know you've been doing this a long time, Mike. And if you've got some of this core foundation part,

Michael Gaddie  15:06  
if you've got that down, everything else will run very smoothly. And I want to say a tip to that don't just because everybody else is doing something. Don't feel like you have to do what they did or what they're going to do. Be your own person. Be yourself, do your own style. Don't care about what anybody else thinks, do what you want is 100

Sharon Rumsey  15:28  
to you.

Kristina Stubblefield  15:30  
On that note, I think we can close this episode out. Hope you found that this was helpful information. And we would love to hear about your wedding planning, visit our website, send us a message Find us on social media. And until next time, good luck with all of your wedding planning and take care.

Thank you for tuning in to this episode of The Ring The Blig And All The Things. If you like what you heard, make sure to hit the subscribe button to get notified of upcoming episodes. You can also visit our website, theringtheblingandallthethings.com for past episodes, and make sure to connect with us on social media. If you would like to help us get the word out about this podcast. Make sure to share with your family, your friends and anyone you know in the wedding business.

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