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June 29, 2022

Etiquette & What Every Wedding Guest Should Know with Maggie Heely


Did you know you have some general responsibilities to be a good guest at wedding that go far beyond dressing up and attending? Stay tuned for this episode as co-hosts Kristina, Sharon & Mike talked with Maggie Heely, The Weekend Wedding Warrior, about guest etiquette and everything you need to do before, during and after the nuptials. From RSVP’ing, limiting your phone use and arriving early to complying with the plus one etiquette, this episode will prep you to be the best wedding guest ever!

Weekend Wedding Warriors are the logistics experts. They don’t plan your wedding for you, but they do execute it on your behalf. That way you, your family and friends aren’t stuck working and can enjoy your wedding to the fullest! So, you plan the perfect wedding, and we’ll make sure your special day runs smoothly.

Timestamps:
• [03:03] Maggie “Do you get a plus one do not get a plus one. How do you know? So that's something that people want to know”
• [07:25] Sharon talks about the option to offer childcare at your wedding. 
• [17:58] Mike talks about how sending your invitations too early can be a bad thing.
• [24:59] Kristina talks about wedding dress codes, and how you need to inform your guests of the dress code.

For more information on The Ring The Bling And All The Things Podcast, visit: https://www.ringblingallthethingspodcast.com/

Kristina Stubblefield
Coaching & consulting: https://kristinastubblefield.com/
Website: https://www.ringblingallthethingspodcast.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theringtheblingandallthethings
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theringtheblingandallthethings/

The Ring The Bling And All The Things Community Platform: https://www.ringblingallthethings.com/

Michael Gaddie
Website: https://www.lloydsflorist.net/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lloydsflorist/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lloydsflorist/ 

Sharon Rumsey
Website: https://aperfectplanevents.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/APerfectPlanKentuckiana/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/aperfectplaneventskentuckiana/

Guest Information
Maggie Heely
Website: http://www.weekendweddingwarrior.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/weddingwarrior/

Transcript

Kristina Stubblefield  0:00  
Why is it so important to RSVP? I mean, is it really a big deal?

Michael Gaddie  0:05  
It's an open bar. Woohoo.

Sharon Rumsey  0:07  
Hey, if you're gonna bitch about a wedding, just don't go.

Kristina Stubblefield  0:12  
You're listening to The Ring The Bling And All The Things Podcast. I'm Kristina Stubblefield, one of your hosts, along with my two good friends Michael Gaddie and Sharon Rumsey. We are here to get you from down on one knee, down the aisle and into happily ever after. Our informative episodes deliver valuable tips, trends, ideas, and advice covering everything from you saying yes to the i do's and all that happens in between and after. Now, let's get started with this episode.

Sharon Rumsey  0:52  
Ring The Bling family We are so excited today. We have we know you loved her last time we have Maggie Heely the owner of Weekend Wedding Warrior back with us today. I have so much respect for Maggie I have followed her and what she's done. Total respect for her business that she's built and the wedding planner that she is to engage couples here in the local area. We're going to talk today about something that Maggie and I both feel pretty passionate about. Gosh, Mike, we didn't even get a mention in there. And it's how to be a good wedding guest Yes, yes.

Kristina Stubblefield  1:31  
Are we talking etiquette?

Sharon Rumsey  1:32  
Etiquette

Maggie Heely  1:33  
Etiquette

The hidden and not hidden rules of attending a wedding as a guest.

Kristina Stubblefield  1:38  
Welcome, Maggie. 

Maggie Heely  1:41  
Thanks so much for having me. 

Kristina Stubblefield  1:42  
I cannot wait to hear all this

Sharon Rumsey  1:44  
We're so excited.

Kristina Stubblefield  1:46  
I'm just gonna get my coffee. I'm gonna sit back and listen.

Maggie Heely  1:50  
Take some notes 

Kristina Stubblefield  1:52  
Are you saying I am a bad guest?

Sharon Rumsey  1:55  
I think she's saying buckle up. But

Kristina Stubblefield  1:57  
Oh Mike here we go.

Maggie Heely  2:00  
Tough love time.

Kristina Stubblefield  2:01  
Can we hop right in because I cannot wait to hear this. And I know we did a previous episode on this a while back. But I feel like this is going to be even better. It's not even so much that but I don't know that you could talk enough about this. Sure. And for me guest etiquette could be wedding party, family, family, family, and friends. So if you're an engaged couple, feel free to share this with anyone or someone that you really feel needs to hear this. Sharon, where in the world? Are you starting with this topic?

Sharon Rumsey  2:38  
I think I'm gonna let Maggie start.

Maggie Heely  2:39  
Oh, man. Well, it's funny because I was thinking about, like, what I was going to talk about today. And I knew that this is what we were our discussion was gonna be about and I even put it on my Instagram. I saw that and said like, Okay, guys, like we're gonna record this podcast, like, what questions do you have? And the one question I got? Repeatedly, so I'm thinking a good place to start, is what do you do about who can't? Who if you get an invitation? Who comes with you? Do you get a plus one do not get a plus one. How do you know? So that's something that people want to know, to me. I'm like, Oh, how do people not know this? But this is what I do every weekend, right? Like, I don't.. 

Kristina Stubblefield  3:15  
You mean, people don't just automatically know what you all do? 

Maggie Heely  3:20  
Yeah, no, no, apparently not. But the big thing that they really spell it out for you, they the couple is going to spell out for you. If you get it plus one or not, it will say it on your envelope on your invitation envelope. When you get that in the mail, it will say to you or to you and guest.

Kristina Stubblefield  3:40  
Maggie this is a double one, though. This is good information for couples that are planning their invitation if they especially if they don't have a planner to help them.

Sharon Rumsey  3:50  
I get asked questions all the time, right?

Maggie Heely  3:52  
Like what do I how do I do? How do I say? Well, I have to have a plus one do I have like because couples are trying to figure out how many guests they're going to have. Right? So they're trying to figure out? Well, if everyone brings a date, do I have enough room for everyone? Do I have enough money for everyone? Right? So there's different ways, different reasons people

Kristina Stubblefield  4:09  
pick what they pick? So the engaged couples can help control that by how they fill out their invite. Yes, yes.

Maggie Heely  4:14  
100?

Michael Gaddie  4:15  
Well, you would think that if you got an invitation, it said, Michael Gaddie and guess

Kristina Stubblefield  4:20  
Are you assuming again,

Michael Gaddie  4:22  
Do you would assume? I mean, I would automatically automatically think me and one person.

Maggie Heely  4:28  
Right? 

Kristina Stubblefield  4:29  
If it just came to you, would you think

Maggie Heely  4:32  
But what if it just said Michael Gaddie? 

Michael Gaddie  4:34  
It would just be me 

Maggie Heely  4:35  
Correct. 

Kristina Stubblefield  4:35  
Correct

Maggie Heely  4:36  
Yes.

Kristina Stubblefield  4:36  
Well, I'm so sorry guys. I would have thought if I was going to a wedding. I'm being honest that I would not I'm not gonna go by myself. I'm gonna bring somebody with me. So I'm glad we're talking about this because

Maggie Heely  4:48  
yeah, because not necessarily. I mean, I do think it's kind of the couple can fit it in their budget and fit the guest count in. I do think it's kind to have a guest for everyone there because it is is hard to go to a wedding by yourself. You know, that's a little unless it's a wedding with your family or whatever. But the other thing that you have control over then is the whole like, do I bring my kids situation? So does your invitation say, for example for me and my husband, Mr. And Mrs. Era Keely? Does it say the Healy family? Does it say children right Mr. And Mrs. Eric Healy, Rory, and Knox Healy, those are my kids names, like, what does it say? So we got an invitation for a family event recently and said, The Healy family, so we knew kids were invited, then my cousin's getting married. And we got the invitation and said, just my husband and I, okay, kids are not invited. Right. So it's like, gives me a very clear understanding just by that invitation. And the Save the date is the same. When your doing your save the date.

Kristina Stubblefield  5:43  
I hadn't thought of that.

Sharon Rumsey  5:44  
Well, and you know, I think one of the things too, Mike actually just called me like last week, he has a friend getting married, and they do not want kids there. They feel strongly about it. But he called me because they didn't know how to say it on their invitation.

Michael Gaddie  5:58  
How to word it.

Maggie Heely  5:58  
Got it

Kristina Stubblefield  5:59  
I hadn't thought about it that way. And family that what

Sharon Rumsey  6:01  
I usually recommend is, you know, hey, enjoy a free, enjoy an adults only evening or enjoy a date night on us. We respectfully ask that children remain at home.

Maggie Heely  6:14  
But do you put that on the invitation? You put that on the website? Or like how Where do I put it?

Sharon Rumsey  6:17  
I put it both 

Maggie Heely  6:18  
Everywhere?

Sharon Rumsey  6:18  
Um, yeah, just to make it very clear. And the other thing I want to add is, don't get your feelings hurt? 

Maggie Heely  6:25  
Yes!! Okay. I'm so glad that he's like, Oh my gosh, because that's exactly the issue that I find is that people were like, but now so and so's not coming in because they can't bring their kids. It's so annoying. And you're like, No, no, no, you set your boundaries. Great. You're allowed to do that. Then they set their boundaries back. And we should all just respect that.

Sharon Rumsey  6:42  
I have a bride right now, right now that her sister says she's not going to come because her kids can't come. And her sister was in the bridal party. So like, it's it's really, really hard. But that's I think, one I think one thing that people don't look at is I know, for me, the average wedding of mine is probably between $65 and $75 a head. When you look at the total cost of the wedding. Sure. So you start adding that 200- 300 people, you know, somewhere there has to be a cut off. Yeah. Or maybe that couple just wants an adult only evening. And that's okay. They have the right to do that.

Kristina Stubblefield  7:23  
Well Sharon, you've mentioned this before. It's their day. It's the couple's day. And if that's their wishes, like let them have their day, if you don't want to go like you said boundaries, boundaries. Okay, they're not coming. And everybody's okay. We move on and wow, I'll be honest with you. I guess I hadn't really thought about it. Yeah. But that is so important, especially when you're talking about guests count. Because people do have big families. And if you're limited to the number of people you can have there. Oh, yeah. And you've got close friends, and they're not married. You know, you have to trim or cut it off somewhere, I should say. 

Maggie Heely  7:23  
Sorry, go ahead.

Sharon Rumsey  7:25  
If it works in your budget, and it's something you're willing to do, especially for your out of town guest if you can provide childcare. That's a really nice option. I know I've got a client getting married this summer, we're going to provide childcare. One of the places I recommend doing that is a lot of church high school youth groups. Will will do that in if the couple will make a donation. I have a you know, the childcare for my wedding this summer. They're planning a mission trip. So they wanted a donation toward their mission trip. So we've rented a very nice room at the hotel. Yeah, we're going to have four teenage girls come in. We're going to have Pizza, Smoothies, all the things. 

Maggie Heely  8:54  
Yeah.

Kristina Stubblefield  8:55  
What an interesting twist. I hadn't even thought about that.

Sharon Rumsey  8:57  
Yeah, if if, if that's in your budget.

Maggie Heely  9:00  
Right 

Sharon Rumsey  9:00  
If that is something you want to do. You're not obligated.

Maggie Heely  9:02  
Because I know like from 

Sharon Rumsey  9:04  
Out of town guests is where it's really hard. 

Maggie Heely  9:07  
Yeah. Because I've been married now. 15 years. And I remember my husband and I we did not have kids at our wedding. We were really adamant about it. Yeah. And I remember one of my aunts who had younger children at the time was like, Well, what am I supposed to like? The whole family is coming to this wedding. What am I supposed to do with my kids? You know, and it was this it was it was a big deal. And it was and now that I have young children and I have cousins getting married out of town I get it right but I'm also okay going without my husband, which not everybody right like I'm okay being like my husband's got the kids at home. I'm gonna go to the family wedding. 

Sharon Rumsey  9:34  
Your husband's probably okay with it too.

Maggie Heely  9:37  
Cool. Yeah, I'm good. 

Michael Gaddie  9:38  
Well, I had a cousin that sent out invitations and it said to my wife, sister, it said, Trish and guest. Well, at the time she had just got married and my cousin or we're not close so they kind of like didn't know his name. They assumed that they were going to bring her husband and her husband. Well, she ain't when she RSVP she RSVP her and her daughter, which her daughter was like 14, two days before the wedding. My cousin called Trish and said, I'm sorry, we don't have enough seats for your daughter. 

Sharon Rumsey  10:16  
Oh, that's a no. 

Michael Gaddie  10:17  
And 

Maggie Heely  10:18  
There's alot of no's.

Michael Gaddie  10:19  
So I just want to let you know that we're and we're not accepting kids. But that was never put in invitation at all.

Maggie Heely  10:25  
It has to be very clear adult. 

Michael Gaddie  10:26  
Well, that has that has been a disaster since then. Because Trish didn't end up going at all. And now they don't have a relationship over that. Which I think the whole thing all the way around was not handled correctly.

Maggie Heely  10:37  
It is so interesting. I think what like there's this weird like, oh, I went to your wedding. Did you go to my wedding? Like there's this weird like back and forth that happens? It's like, getting points or something. I just think it's so silly. get really offended, which I get that you want people there. But make sure you want people there because you want them there not because it's going to offend you if they're not there. That's the only reason.

Kristina Stubblefield  10:59  
Sharon, you've said that before. Who do you want to be there to share that special day? Not because their best friend or not because they're friends with mom or dad or they've worked together for 30 years share. And I'm not saying you said this word for word, I'm ad libbing. But it's back to the couple. It's their day. And you've said that you've got to

Sharon Rumsey  11:19  
You know, Maggie and I were just talking before we started recording. And the best way I can think to communicate it is sometimes a couple just has to pull themselves from all the noise. I just did this with a couple recently, like pull yourself from all the noise and all the people in your ear and look at what you want the two of you want. If you have a wedding planner, that's great. Let her come alongside you and advocate for that. But even if you don't just just tell everybody just shhhhh and you're going to, you're going to look at what you want. And that's what you're going to do. And it makes me sad, like when I hear stories that might just share that a family is still affected right over this one thing on a wedding invitation. You know, honestly, and I don't even know that part of your family. But shame on them. 

Michael Gaddie  12:09  
I agree. 

Sharon Rumsey  12:10  
Yeah, it's silly. 

Maggie Heely  12:11  
Yeah.

Again, I think it comes down to like respecting people's wishes and boundaries right because if that's going to be your like you have to set your boundaries in advance clearly state it right reception right I'll only reception and then you know, when people can't go then then you have to be cool with that too.

Kristina Stubblefield  12:30  
Yeah, but don't be scared of your decision, don't feel embarrassed by it or bad about it.

Maggie Heely  12:36  
Stand by it and then but be cool if cousin so and so can't come because she's got little kids. 

Sharon Rumsey  12:41  
Say I understand 

Maggie Heely  12:41  
Like, yeah, that was you made that decision. You gotta be cool with that too, right? Oh, well, they need to find a babysitter and they need to blah blah, blah. Well, they don't really need to.

Michael Gaddie  12:50  
But on the other hand, too, if you know we're talking about sending out cards and people RSVP and and that kind of thing and if you RSVP and don't come that pisses me off too. 

Maggie Heely  12:59  
Oh, well....

Kristina Stubblefield  13:00  
That's a respect issue.

Maggie Heely  13:02  
I heard someone say like send an invoice you should send an invoice to them after.

Michael Gaddie  13:06  
If things happen that you cannot be there. Things happen.

Maggie Heely  13:11  
I mean, especially during COVID We've been seeing a drop off the week of because someone's got the sniffles they don't want to come

Sharon Rumsey  13:17  
That's understandable.

Michael Gaddie  13:18  
That's understandable.

Maggie Heely  13:19  
 But when people just like no show

Kristina Stubblefield  13:20  
Communicated as soon as possible. Sharon you've talked about this somewhere along the line I feel like Mike or maybe you you're not just talking about one plate of food you're you're talking about possibly dishes glasses, decor linens, I've locked chairs, table

Maggie Heely  13:38  
Oh gosh. 

Michael Gaddie  13:39  
Well it's a lot 

Maggie Heely  13:40  
Or like when a family of 4 doesn't come for example it's like half of a table is gone or you could have consolidated and yeah how much does a table cost?

Kristina Stubblefield  13:47  
just didn't say some about moving like

Sharon Rumsey  13:50  
move seats and pull place settings yeah for yeah remember

Kristina Stubblefield  13:53  
that so just a respect issue. Gosh, this has been you started out with a with a biggie but I feel like you really provided you all provided not only etiquette, but you also provided education for the thing is something we feel pretty

Sharon Rumsey  14:07  
strongly Yeah,

Kristina Stubblefield  14:08  
we do. Yeah, well it affects a lot 

Maggie Heely  14:10  
It does affect a lot and I think guests don't always understand how much it affects and how much it affects the couple, and the couple loses sleep over this kind of stuff. So like just communicate be respectful and communicate that's 

Kristina Stubblefield  14:21  
Wait, are we talking about communication again? Oh, it comes up and boundaries so

Maggie Heely  14:25  
how come I have to always have to talk about boundaries 

Sharon Rumsey  14:27  
We talk about just something that popped into my mind as we talk about you know what all it affects it affects you know, seating and all that another thing to keep you from being a donkey as a wedding guest is 

Maggie Heely  14:41  
a donkey guest 

Sharon Rumsey  14:42  
a donkey guest if there's a seating chart don't change your seating.

Maggie Heely  14:46  
My God don't even Yeah,

Kristina Stubblefield  14:48  
Wait people come and don't follow the seating chart?

Maggie Heely  14:52  
come up they see where they're seated and they pull their I don't see it that often. I'm thankful I have pretty like people respond pretty respectful, least or Maybe they're doing it has happened, but it happens. Oh, yes, Sally

Sharon Rumsey  15:02  
comes in and she'd rather set by it Betty right then Aunt Mary or whatever. So she just moves her seat. So if you have a plated meal, you're gonna get the wrong food and somebody else is gonna get the wrong food because I've already turned all that

Maggie Heely  15:17  
domino, domino effect. Yes.

Sharon Rumsey  15:19  
And plus,

Kristina Stubblefield  15:20  
I'm getting take to the school today. Because

Michael Gaddie  15:24  
I helped Bobby do a wedding one year. And he actually planned it and everything. But I stood at the door, I didn't have a seating chart. They didn't do that. I don't even know if this was legit to even do after like, almost like a bouncer at the door. And I said, Okay, you're at table number one. Yep. When you check in, I told you what table to go to. Yeah. People came up to me after they got to their seat. Well, I don't want to sit with her. Do you mind if I go over to the table? 

Sharon Rumsey  15:51  
Yes I mind!

You may not. 

Michael Gaddie  15:53  
It was a disaster. Mike said hey, I was young then, I was like yeah sure do whatever you want to.

Kristina Stubblefield  16:00  
Mike did not hold boundaries.

Sharon Rumsey  16:01  
even if it I know now that even if it's not a plated meal, be respectful. There's might be a reason the host has put you there for a reason. Make a friend, sit down and make a friend.

Maggie Heely  16:14  
And wow. Yeah, I think that that's really important. And then like if there's something is wrong every once in a while, right? Like the couple's done their seating chart, they're stressed out, right. And something's a little off with it. Maybe like I had recently at the last wedding I did where this woman came up to me. She's like, Hi, I'm at table 29. And my husband said, assigned to table 30. Do you? Oh, yeah, that's right. And I was like, you know, probably not. Let me see. And I able to quickly look. So the point is, if something seems off to you, don't tell the bride. Don't tell the mother. Don't tell anybody look for somebody with a clipboard for sure. And come up to the clipboard lady, right? Me or the caterer? And say, right, is this okay? Because she was like, we can send it to her. Yeah,

Sharon Rumsey  16:57  
I handled that part. I was like, yeah,

Maggie Heely  16:58  
she handled it so beautifully. And she was so dedicated, she had such sweet little guests. And that made me go, I want to help you. I'm gonna take care of that. And I quickly pulled my assistant and I pulled the catering manager, I said, we need to take, you know, place heading away from 30, put it at 29. We've only got an 8 top between nine we could squeeze nine, we're good.

Sharon Rumsey  17:15  
And I think sometimes people don't realize what all has gone into making that seating chart. I mean, to me, they're a booger. And you know, especially like you're not with the swearing, especially like if you have if you have parents being on our good behavior, and I'm trying really hard. But especially if you have like divorced parents, like I've had couples tell me, you literally have to put my mom on this side of the room. And you have to put my dad on this side of the room. And this person kind of buffers my mom and mediates. So put her next to my mom. So a lot of thoughts. We've done all that. Don't switch it just like it's 20 minutes.

Maggie Heely  17:50  
Again, yeah. Be respectful. 

Michael Gaddie  17:52  
Well, I think out of all the brides I've talked to, and I just went through this last night, got a wedding coming up April 30 at hazelnut farms, and they're freaking out over the table, seating chart and almost get stressed out. Yeah, it may go, well, it's going to be done. By this weekend. I said. I said don't make any plans. And don't put that in ink, because you got four weeks left.

Maggie Heely  18:20  
Yeah, that's a big, that's a long RSVP window there.

Michael Gaddie  18:23  
that's gonna change a lot. 

Sharon Rumsey  18:24  
I usually, you know, two weeks out is when I usually ask for them. And you know, that's something that even even if you have a wedding planner, and I don't have Maggie feels, I can give you input. And I can kind of guide you how to create it. But you wedding planner really can't do your seating chart for you.

Maggie Heely  18:40  
Thank you for saying that because I one time since, like a couple times. I've had clients ask me, Can you just do this for me? 

Sharon Rumsey  18:45  
Oh, I've had them ask too.. 

Maggie Heely  18:46  
I don't know who so and so is. 

Sharon Rumsey  18:47  
I don't know who talks to who? 

Maggie Heely  18:48  
Yeah, it's like that is very much 

Kristina Stubblefield  18:49  
or there may be a problem 

Maggie Heely  18:51  
with all the dynamics are in the family and friends.

Kristina Stubblefield  18:53  
Listen to her, the dynamics. That's a good word.

Michael Gaddie  18:57  
So how important do you think a seating chart is?

Maggie Heely  19:01  
I mean, I love I love a good table assignment or

Kristina Stubblefield  19:04  
Sharon's over here twitching that you asked that question.

Michael Gaddie  19:06  
Well, I mean, people ask that a lot. Yeah. I mean, some people say, oh, let's not do a seating chart. Okay. So I think it's important.

Maggie Heely  19:12  
I think you feel as a guest, right? This is a pro guest moment, I think you feel cared for, the less you have to like, think or think or like, you know, be worried about something. And sometimes there's that moment of Where do I sit? Who do I sit with? Are there enough seats? Look, you know what I mean? And so it just takes one less step out to me. And then also, if you don't have a seating chart, you need extra seats because your people don't divide perfectly by by eight, right? So there'll be pulling chairs from.. 

Oh, talk about pulling chairs. So you better have a whole extra table, which is an extra linen extra this extra that? Yeah,

Sharon Rumsey  19:43  
I agree. Fair enough.

Michael Gaddie  19:44  
Do I know you got lots on your list.

Maggie Heely  19:45  
Oh, yeah, we're gonna malice. Okay, so. So the other thing is, if you have a question about what you're supposed to do what you're supposed to wear, go to the website. So there's almost always I don't have a couple anymore who doesn't have a wedding website? Yeah. And so the wedding website. And then for couples, this is your education. Right? Like, always list on there. Is there a dress code, right? Is it black tie? Black Tie optional? Is it not? Is it dress casual, smart, I don't know what the words are for all these different things. But you know what I mean? Like, put that dress code on there, put if there's room blocks somewhere, right? So you're going to look for those things. And I'm a rule follower, just like as a human. But I really like it when the wedding guests follow the rules when they go rogue and they don't go to their hotel block, for example,

Sharon Rumsey  19:54  
Right? 

Kristina Stubblefield  19:55  
Like, oh, no, I'm over here because I'm going rogue. Nope, you all are golds. Right, Sharon, Oh, me and Mike are over here. We're going to just keep our mouth shut. 

Sharon Rumsey  20:43  
We had our colors done.

Maggie Heely  20:44  
Okay, I know, I want my color done. But you know, like, there's probably a reason that that hotel block was picked at that hotel. Maybe there's transportation that's being provided from there, maybe the Welcome Dinner is there. There's some other reason they want you to stay there. So don't be like the person who's like, 

Sharon Rumsey  21:00  
Well I have a hotel here...

Maggie Heely  21:01  
Airbnb or I'm gonna stay across town.

Sharon Rumsey  21:03  
Well, I have a hotel here in town that I do a lot of room blocks with. And I had a guest call me the other day. Ummm I don't even know where she got my number.

Maggie Heely  21:15  
That's impressive....that guests really would just did her research. 

Sharon Rumsey  21:18  
And she said, I use the link for the room block. 

Maggie Heely  21:23  
And it wasn't working? 

Sharon Rumsey  21:24  
But I got online and there's a cheaper price. Okay, what she doesn't know, is I built into the fee for that room, that she has a private brunch the next morning with the couple included in her room fee.

Maggie Heely  21:40  
So if she books her own, she doesn't get the brunch.

Sharon Rumsey  21:42  
Right!

Maggie Heely  21:43  
Or like mess it up.

Sharon Rumsey  21:44  
And she's left off of that thing that she wants to be apart of. So I think just use the room block link. Yeah, it was literally $12 difference. Okay, she's gonna get a beautiful breakfast. So as her husband for $12, $6 Each, like, so. Follow the rules, rules, man.

Maggie Heely  22:05  
Wear what you're supposed to wear, do what your supposed to do. Okay, I have to my cousin Evan. There's no way he's gonna listen to this. So he's got this

Kristina Stubblefield  22:12  
What did you glance at the camera for

Sharon Rumsey  22:15  
Just incase.

Maggie Heely  22:17  
There's no way he doesn't answer text. He's not listening. But his wedding is coming up. And he made it he got a rip on him. It was actually really cute. He put the dress code it was black tie optional is the dress code. And he put a Pinterest board. If for an example..

Sharon Rumsey  22:29  
God love is heart.

Maggie Heely  22:30  
that you could wear for his wedding.

Kristina Stubblefield  22:34  
I think Mike would do something like that. 

Sharon Rumsey  22:36  
That is such a Mike thing.

Maggie Heely  22:37  
That is such a Mike thing.

Michael Gaddie  22:38  
 But you know what, I think that's good idea.

Maggie Heely  22:40  
I mean, and then my other cousin ended up buying a dress off of the Pinterest board. And she liked it so much. I was like, alright, that all worked out. 

Sharon Rumsey  22:46  
You know, literally I've seen I've seen that put on websites, you know, like, cocktail attire or semi formal. And I've gotten emails saying what does that mean?

Maggie Heely  22:58  
Sure Google. 

Google and we both call it Yeah, I think you know, people need to feel empowered that you're not that dumb. Like you can figure this out.

Michael Gaddie  23:07  
Right? You know what, though? We right? I agree.

Kristina Stubblefield  23:11  
You are not. You are not that dumb. You can figure this out.

Maggie Heely  23:17  
I'm gonna I'm just here to try to empower you.

Michael Gaddie  23:19  
But really, I mean, we work. We're wedding professionals. We do this every day. And you'd be surprised what? Human being in this United States or anywhere in the world has no clue what's going on when it comes to a wedding. And you got to play stupid sometimes.

Kristina Stubblefield  23:39  
Yeah, she's over holding her hand. She don't know what your great say. He makes me nervous.

Michael Gaddie  23:44  
No, I'm being serious. I mean, you have no

Maggie Heely  23:46  
you're totally right. And a big part of our job is to be patient and educate people. Just because we do it every weekend doesn't mean that you do and I think people don't match by the more information just full loop the more information you put on your website, the more helpful it is. And I've even had

Sharon Rumsey  24:00  
brides asked me you know, this is what I don't want to see people wear at my wedding so what's my dress code? Right You know, this is want.

Maggie Heely  24:08  
I don't want people in jeans

Michael Gaddie  24:09  
so what should I put? Yeah, yeah. Wow. If you're in a farming community Sure.

Maggie Heely  24:14  
Yes. I think where is your?

Michael Gaddie  24:17  
This bride is you know the one of the biggest high school queens and all this all through her growing up years. And she's having this lavish wedding but you're you know used to be in around cattle farms and pig farms and that kind of thing. No, listen to me. I have no clue. What What do you mean black tie?

Maggie Heely  24:40  
Well, but there's also like night my husband was raised in a community like that and there's like your nice jeans right there's there's your wedding your dress jeans. You got your yeah your dress jeans. Special occasions there cowboy boots. My husband was out like cowboy in California and your cowboy hat probably cost more than mine dress.

Sharon Rumsey  24:57  
My husband would say church jeans church too.

Kristina Stubblefield  24:59  
Okay, so yeah, um, sidenote, my grandpa, they had 300 acre plus farm. But they my grandpa really had jeans that my grandma pressed, they were only pulled out for very special occasions. And to wear a dress shirt. With those jeans, you had to been going to something like really nice. And you're right, it you have to take this for what type of event you're having, or where you're located. Now, if you're having an I'm going to say this and you all can change the wording how you want, but you're having an outdoor event and midsummer I would like to hope if you're having the rustic barn wedding, Sharon's not going to start twitching again. I would hope maybe you would think about your guest and what you're asking of them to wear, you know, it's probably going to be very hot. Yes. And you won't

Sharon Rumsey  26:05  
expect that don't expect stilettos if you're going to walk in the grass on and then grass.

Maggie Heely  26:10  
Well, and that's another great like segue to guest etiquette. You again, Google is so amazing. You can look up where the reception is gonna be. And you can see does it look like is inside? Does it look like it's outside? Does it look like it's on grass? Does it look like it's air conditioned or not? And then you can kind of plan your wedges versus your stilettos appropriately. Please do not email the bride. Do not

Kristina Stubblefield  26:32  
oh my god the bride. Back to the website, though, like you said. And Sharon, I know you've also talked about this like provide your guests the information that way they don't bother you. But you're helping them well, I'm not actually has common sense when it comes back. 

Maggie Heely  26:32  
If people are traveling into or or even not. They're not from here. Information. I'm a big believer in like the over there's more information, the better. Right? It's like, I've never had too much signage at a wedding. It's like, the more you can over inform what's going on, the more comfortable they feel. Or they were just taken over. This is the Sharon and Maggie show.

Kristina Stubblefield  27:09  
We'll be back here.

Michael Gaddie  27:11  
But you know, back to the websites is that are those websites? I really didn't know that there was a website for every wedding. Be honest with you. I didn't. I did not. So is that the new thing that that every bride and groom are a couple has

Sharon Rumsey  27:25  
most of my couples. Yeah. Not only have a website, but we offer the option to RSVP on the website.

Michael Gaddie  27:32  
I do not know that.

Kristina Stubblefield  27:33  
And the registry information is on there.

Maggie Heely  27:35  
The more I think my couples tend to be like really traditional. So we haven't gotten there.

Sharon Rumsey  27:38  
We offer both we send out the cards. 

Maggie Heely  27:40  
There's always a website.

Sharon Rumsey  27:41  
Because I started noticing my really younger couples. Yeah. So none of my friends are going to send this out. My friends don't have stamps.

Kristina Stubblefield  27:50  
They want to click on their cell phone. 

Sharon Rumsey  27:51  
Yeah.

Maggie Heely  27:51  
Well and then also with like, to having everyone's email during COVID. And with changes, yes. Oh, blah, blah. I mean.

Michael Gaddie  27:57  
Do you think COVID is the one that kind of encouraged that website to come along for I was ever before? Yeah, no. We've had websites for a long time. I just learned something today. Yeah. Really? Yes.

Maggie Heely  28:08  
But But I think that RSVP and online has become much more popular through Yeah, but

Sharon Rumsey  28:13  
we do both. Everybody gets an RSVP card. And I have them number them. You know, so if somebody RSVPs online and it's hard yeah. Well, that's okay. Guest etiquette. That's another thing. The RSVP cards, put your name on it. 

Maggie Heely  28:29  
Oh yeah. When you see the little m, that's then you put Mr. Right? So you see an M and a line, right?

Sharon Rumsey  28:36  
Start telling my couples on the back in the corner, just put a I don't care if it's in pencil, whatever itty bitty number that corresponds to your Excel sheet their name because they forget to put their name and then the couple gets it and they don't know 

Kristina Stubblefield  28:49  
I have no idea who it is. 

Sharon Rumsey  28:50  
They have no idea who it is. So they know you want a chicken and a beef. 

Kristina Stubblefield  28:54  
That's especially a problem if it's plated. 

Sharon Rumsey  28:57  
So if you number that RSVP card, then that that tells you who that person is. And if they RSVP online as well you don't duplicate

Maggie Heely  29:05  
Okay, now this i This is even on my list, but so when your wedding guest you need to put your name on there. Put your meal choice Correct. Here. I love your opinion on this. If you are gluten free, dairy free, vegan, something specialty intolerant, right, right. Do you put that on there? Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes,

Sharon Rumsey  29:23  
I put a line for dietary considerations. 

Maggie Heely  29:25  
That's very nice. And then if there isn't a line I think you should put it on there don't yet don't the night of pull your server aside and say yeah, and then it's like

Sharon Rumsey  29:36  
oh, we're having lobster mac and cheese and I'm allergic to shell fish.

Maggie Heely  29:39  
commas if you like I know that people get like oh embarrassed or they don't want to make a big deal out of it. But it's less of a big deal if it's just on your RC

Sharon Rumsey  29:47  
I would totally no and and I get it like if you're allergic to something or you're intolerant of something I get it right. But but you need to know

Michael Gaddie  29:54  
okay, I've got a question. This is kind of off topic but kind of not received and this is A true honest True Story story. I received an invitation yesterday in the mail for a wedding. A popular. Yes. When the wedding is? No, it's October 1.

Maggie Heely  30:11  
Oh, that's far.

Michael Gaddie  30:14  
I thought what are the RSVPs? Do what is this?

Maggie Heely  30:16  
When does it say due by or RSVP by? 

Michael Gaddie  30:18  
It didn't have a RSVP

Kristina Stubblefield  30:21  
Oh, see, is that important to save the date tech?

Michael Gaddie  30:22  
No, it was not save the date. It was the actual invitation. 

Kristina Stubblefield  30:27  
Is it somebody you know really well? 

Michael Gaddie  30:29  
She sent them all out. It's one of my employees. So Holly, if you're listening, it is what it is. So, but I want to know how far out I've told her to six to eight weeks? And she says, Well, I said normally right now you would send out save the date cards. She says, Well, we didn't want to spend the money on Save the date cards. I'm turning around and send a invitation too.

Maggie Heely  30:52  
10 is more normal as my Yeah. Because you're gonna be getting because our back in the day, right? The etiquette was eight weeks out, and then you get your RSVPs are due two weeks out, that does not work for the wedding industry because they need to order the food, they need to order the linens, blah, blah, blah. So now it's like, what, three to four weeks out? You should have your RSVP. Yeah. And then therefore you need.

Sharon Rumsey  31:10  
On my checklist that I give my couples its mailing at 10 weeks. And RSVPs due at 4 weeks out. Well, because a few I literally changed that not that long ago because even I do most of my florals through Mike. And because of flower shortage. He's having to turn in his final flower orders three weeks out, right? So if I'm going to cut a table or add a table centerpiece or something he needs to know that sooner than you used to need to know. 

Michael Gaddie  31:37  
Well, I called her yesterday and I said, Holly, I got this invitation. I said, Did you send all your invitations out? I said I didn't call her I texted her. And she said, Oh yeah, she wanted to do it early. And I'm thinking, I'm just afraid that your guests are going to forget.

Sharon Rumsey  31:51  
That scares me because at my house

Michael Gaddie  31:52  
That scares me.

Sharon Rumsey  31:53  
that would get put in her pile somewhere. 

Kristina Stubblefield  31:55  
And it's different if you use like Google Calendar, and you go ahead and put it in there, you're going to see it if that's something you use all the time. But for others that put it on their fridge or with their stack of papers,

Sharon Rumsey  32:05  
I think some couples get antsy and they want to get them out. But there's a fine line between waiting too long and doing it too far ahead.

Maggie Heely  32:14  
Well, and I mean, save the dates, thats why save the dates are so helpful, but I get if you're trying to save the money, but there's like, you can put it on social media, right email people, right? There's on your website, there's free ways to notify people of your date so that they have it on their calendar without sending your invitation. 

This is so good. I know. Did you you got more. 

Michael Gaddie  32:32  
She's got tons more.

Maggie Heely  32:34  
Let me get my list. Okay. Um, so, okay, when you are guests to the wedding, and the invitation says five o'clock, Sharon, what time should you arrive

Sharon Rumsey  32:43  
no later than 445. 

Maggie Heely  32:44  
Okay, all right.

Kristina Stubblefield  32:46  
She was gonna say four. 

Maggie Heely  32:47  
So I didn't here's that. Here's my personal story. This is little this is high school. Maggie, my step brother got married. It was the first wedding I've ever been invited to. I went with my good friend Josh, who was like my, my buddy, my plus one. And the invitation said, I don't know what, because this was decades ago. Thank you very much. But I showed up on time, which meant 

Kristina Stubblefield  33:10  
you were late.

Maggie Heely  33:11  
Oh, yeah, which means the bride's walking down the aisle, and I had to hold back and I was so embarrassed. It was like already awkward step family, you know, right? Like it was already weird. So I did it wrong. And so don't be that person. And every wedding, we have those people ensure there's car accidents or things that happen, but plan to be there at least 15 minutes earlier, so that if something happens, you're not that person walking in on the bride.

Kristina Stubblefield  33:34  
Sharon what happens if somebody comes in really close to the time with you? What do you do?

Sharon Rumsey  33:40  
So my assistant is always in the back. And I'm with the bride, usually. But if the brides if we are lined up, if we're ready to walk, we hold that guest in the back until the whole bridal party is up front. And then 

Kristina Stubblefield  33:56  
Because you got pictures and stuff like that happening.

Sharon Rumsey  33:59  
And then I always my assistant made fun of me and she calls it punishment row. But I keep a row in the back, that I put a reserve sign on. And right before the ceremony, I pull the reserve sign. And that's where I'm going to put anyone who comes late because it's not it's not punishment,

Maggie Heely  34:18  
Naughty row

Sharon Rumsey  34:18  
It's not punishment. But if you have a videographer, I listened to a video of one of my weddings. And this is how I learned that I don't want to ever do this again. You could hear people going, excuse me, pardon me. Can I scoot? Excuse me? Pardon me? 

Maggie Heely  34:34  
Wow. 

Sharon Rumsey  34:34  
So the audio picked that up. So what I do now is just, you know, we're really glad you're here. Here's the seat for you right here.

Maggie Heely  34:44  
Put a little stack of programs in there.

Sharon Rumsey  34:45  
so that they're not like trying to scoot in, you know, in the one of the first four or five rows and making a commotion, right when the ceremony started. 

Kristina Stubblefield  34:55  
Some places only have one entrance, you know, so where you're going Ninh is where people where the wedding party and couples are lining up or

Sharon Rumsey  35:04  
Yeah. I also always ask my couples, you know, how strongly I feel very strongly that we are going to start on time. Because it messes up the I mean, as you can imagine boys are really dominant. They make fun of me because I'm early for everything. I'm always late in my personal life, but not in my knowledge, not at a wedding. So I feel very strongly that we're going to start on time, but one of the questions on my month out meeting sheet is, you know, if it appears that guests are still coming in, are you okay with starting 10 minutes later?

Kristina Stubblefield  35:37  
You give the couple the decision.

Sharon Rumsey  35:38  
Honestly most of them say no.

Michael Gaddie  35:41  
Well, that's going back to what we're talking about. I mean, I think it's very important to start on time, no matter what, but certainly, I've had some good because there are some of your guests that are there that are on time, well, they've been there for a half hour, you don't want to sit there and wait 10 to 15

Kristina Stubblefield  35:55  
Sharon, I'm assuming you would feel differently. Like if you found out that there was a major construction going on.

Michael Gaddie  36:02  
There are exceptions.

Sharon Rumsey  36:03  
I you know, I've gotten text messages before, you know, road closures a car accident, and I'm stuck or whatever. So I figure you're not the only person stuck, right? So we'll gauge it and bride's almost always and I think Maggie would attest to this to go how many people are here?

Maggie Heely  36:18  
Does it look full? 

Kristina Stubblefield  36:19  
Does it look full? Are there a lot of people that people show up?

Sharon Rumsey  36:21  
Yeah. So you know, if I say you know, at that time, I might say we've got a few coming in. I'm gonna hold you about five minutes, but that'd be about as long as I'm gonna push it

Kristina Stubblefield  36:32  
because it affects everything else. Yeah. The whole rest of the night totally. You got other reputedly

Sharon Rumsey  36:36  
and especially if you're at a church because the church usually gives you one hour after your ceremony for your pictures. So if I take 15 minutes of that waiting on late guests now you're down to 45 minutes to get all your pictures.

Maggie Heely  36:50  
because they might have service that night sure, like don't have flexibility

Michael Gaddie  36:53  
Well and also the guests that come in late and they get held it back in the back or wait till after the weddings already processed up there. Don't get pissy about it. Because they don't want you coming in the door. Right. And she's coming down the aisle getting pictures taken. 

Sharon Rumsey  37:07  
I've never had anybody get mad.

Michael Gaddie  37:09  
I've seen a few.

Kristina Stubblefield  37:10  
It's not your event. It is the couples day

Sharon Rumsey  37:14  
But I do reserve seats for them.

Maggie Heely  37:16  
Naughty row. I might start doing Naughty row.

Michael Gaddie  37:18  
That makes it special 

Maggie Heely  37:19  
Yeah.

Kristina Stubblefield  37:20  
Yeah, might think it's this

Maggie Heely  37:25  
okay guys, I've got two more on my list. Okay, that are bring it funny but true. So the first one that I have is if you're gonna bitch don't go 

Michael Gaddie  37:35  
Hey, man.

Sharon Rumsey  37:36  
I love it.

Kristina Stubblefield  37:36  
Did everyone hear what she said? She said it kinda quietly

Maggie Heely  37:40  
If your going to bitch, don't go!

Sharon Rumsey  37:43  
thank you sweet baby Jesus.

Maggie Heely  37:47  
Meaning if you're gonna bitch and jibber jabber and sps sps sps. Months and months before the wedding, then maybe that's a good clue to you that you don't really want to be there or your intention is not to bring joy right day and therefore it's okay. Don't go just don't I mean, it's totally okay. And couples be okay. If someone says no, let's I'll respect that.

Sharon Rumsey  38:10  
I 100% agree. I always have. I always have this little talk with my brides right before they walk. Because I feel like they rushed through the day. And when I first started, brides will go I don't even remember walking, right? So I always have like a little just, she and I are he and I whoever in their ear and I say, you know, I want you to really take this moment in I want you to look at in that room. There's a roomful of people that love you and support you and wish the best for you. And you're never going to have this again. Like I'm 53 years old. I've never had that any other time in my life. Because I want them to take it in. But I want that statement to be true. Yeah, you know, I don't want her to look out there and be going oh, I know. She doesn't really you know, think I'm doing a good she doesn't like want to be here that I don't want that for them. They deserve so much better. So I agree with you. 100% And if you're going to critique everything Why did we only have chicken or why? Stay home and order yourself some KFC? I don't..I don't care. Yeah.

Michael Gaddie  39:14  
McDonald's.

Kristina Stubblefield  39:15  
 I'm just gonna leave that. Support local if you can, if you're gonna stay home.

Sharon Rumsey  39:21  
You would be shocked what we hear at weddings. You know why did they do this or why did they? They did it because they damn well want to do it and it's their wedding at your wedding. I mean, that is literally what I want to say. I feel like we need to move on. It makes me so mad.

Michael Gaddie  39:37  
You need a nerve pill? 

Kristina Stubblefield  39:38  
Breathe

she is very passionate about it 

Maggie Heely  39:41  
Passionate but also like protective over our couples. I think when we work like I can hear it in your voice and I feel the same thing. We call it the mama bear effect for sure. And at Wedding Warrior we're always like, I feel like a mama bear over this.

Sharon Rumsey  39:42  
Do not mess with her

Maggie Heely  39:44  
Protective over them, you know?

Kristina Stubblefield  39:58  
I was thinking that earlier about Sharon, and when you said something about rogue, I was like, Oh, Sharon won't have no problem, I assure you, but it is like you're wanting the best. You know how hard 

Maggie Heely  40:10  
Because you've been with them throughout all that process. And the naysayers have not

Sharon Rumsey  40:14  
 right

Kristina Stubblefield  40:14  
Yes. And so it's like you want them to have the best possible day.

Sharon Rumsey  40:17  
I remember being at that meeting, when we looked at our budget, and we wanted to have the best chicken we could give for our budget. So don't sit there. How disrespectful like I don't know it just really just errr. 

Michael Gaddie  40:31  
I love you Sharon

Sharon Rumsey  40:32  
errrr, I love you too.

Kristina Stubblefield  40:33  
Is she making animal noises?

Sharon Rumsey  40:34  
Well, I have even heard like close family members do it.

Maggie Heely  40:40  
Oh sure

Michael Gaddie  40:40  
Well you know thats human

Maggie Heely  40:43  
it is we all compare, it's like a very, but, and like, even on the opposite end, right? Like, what I'm hearing you say is it's almost like a snooty, like, oh, they only had blah blah blah. But you also have the opposite, where it's like, wow, that hotel is too expensive for the hotel room block, or, Oh, we have to work this, I have to go get a new outfit. I have to spend this money. Don't go if it's going to, and not in an embarrassing way. If this is a hardship for you and your family, again, just stay home just respectfully decline.

Kristina Stubblefield  41:07  
And I think that's one of the biggest things that maybe people haven't heard. It's okay to say no, it's okay. If you don't want to go don't well. And there's a lot put into these events, not just money, time, energy effort vendors, we can list all this and to say, if you don't genuinely want to be there and celebrate with that couple. Don't I love

Sharon Rumsey  41:32  
what Maggie saying too about seeing the other side of it, because I think what we see and what's in our face every weekend is the guest who gripes about the wedding. But you do have a really good point that we ask a lot of guest to and we can't judge them for their decisions, either. I love that you make that point because Oh, another way to think about it. Well, it's such

Maggie Heely  41:53  
a big financial commitment and, you know, meaning I just came from we were talking about how at least the wedding's that I'm doing the norm is you're staying in a hotel, you have a rehearsal dinner, you have a welcome party. You so you have an outfit for that and a dress code for that you have the wedding day. You've got an outfit for that at rehearsal dinner. Yeah, you've got the brunch the next day, there's like, so there's it's no longer just one five hour event. It's a week. That's a financial commitment. I

Sharon Rumsey  42:20  
think that applies to to asking someone to be in your bridal party. Oh, yeah. You know, I think there should be a conversation, you know, hey, I've looked at I've looked at dresses, this is about what your dress is going to cost. This is what your shoes are going to cost. This total is about what it's going to cost you to pay my wedding and I love you and I want you to be here but I also will love you just as much if you have to sign and

Maggie Heely  42:41  
that is key. I think that is so key. And the same for guys with suits.

Sharon Rumsey  42:44  
I think they need to know exactly what they're gonna be. You know, there's

Maggie Heely  42:47  
bachelor weekend's bachelorette weekends. There's the shower. There's the luncheon. I mean, yeah. And I'm not saying it in a negative way. It's It's amazing that people have the resources to do that and that they want to send that they want to continue to celebrate. But that's not necessarily

Sharon Rumsey  43:01  
and I'm telling you these bachelor bachelorette parties. Yeah, it's no longer just going out with all your friends tomorrow. No, it's like you're on a trip.

Maggie Heely  43:10  
I plan to destination one the there was seven women who came in from DC saw that on your Instagram. On the whole we did the Airbnb. They had a full schedule. We had an itinerary. I mean, this was like a $10,000 weekend. Yeah,

Michael Gaddie  43:23  
goodness.

Maggie Heely  43:24  
I mean, they had the best time.

Sharon Rumsey  43:26  
So I love that you bring up seeing the other side? Yes, it's it's really true.

Kristina Stubblefield  43:29  
We have covered so much. I really thought we were gonna. There's another one. Awesome. Her eyes are lighting. Okay, well, but I think what I didn't realize is how much education this could also provide to the couple. Sure. Not just even though this is guest etiquette, this is really for all of it. All right. Well, number one guests

Maggie Heely  43:50  
and couples are it's a two sided coin. Right, like, so the last one I have, which sounds kind of ridiculous and talk about the mama bear, but I'm really I'm really serious. I want guests to have a drinking plan for themselves. Yeah, forehand word. Because, you know, as I get older, it's very rare that I'm going to open bars, right? Like that's like not and then it's like, especially post COVID You're like, let's celebrate we're out. Back again. You know, whatever. Like, you can add meter yourself people and you've got to have a plan for Okay, how many do I have during cocktail hour? How what am I drinking? am I drinking the same thing? Am I mixing? Because we've got some cucumbers at the end of the night and you don't want to be with her? Like you don't want to be the person at the fancy fancy wedding with like vomit on the linen

Kristina Stubblefield  44:37  
Sharon is just waiting to open her mouth and spew not vomit. Oh god she has stuff to add to this mic. I've got a feeling don't you?

Sharon Rumsey  44:44  
I mean, what I want to add is that I 100% agree. Make sure you don't want

Kristina Stubblefield  44:50  
you know the dank you're there to celebrate people getting married. Sorry, share.

Maggie Heely  44:55  
Well, I don't think anyone's intending on puberty right. So that's why I'm saying this like get a plant like no to yourself, this is probably going to be an open bar, I'm probably going to have get excited and want to partake in one of the things

Sharon Rumsey  45:07  
that I'm pretty passionate about is my couples pay me for a service. And I take that very seriously, as I know you do. I feel it's a huge responsibility and when I have to deal with the puke are out in the hall, sure, you're taking me away from that couple that paid me that deserves my time and attention. You know, when I'm spending time getting an Uber for that person and making sure that they're safe? And can I even safely put them in an Uber or that I've even had people that I was afraid to send out alone?

Maggie Heely  45:41  
Well, some Uber drivers aren't aren't gonna take you if you

Sharon Rumsey  45:44  
Correct

you know, I just really feel like if you have a plan and a plan to get home, yes, plan to get home isn't because I have had people too intoxicated to order their own Uber, right, like and

Michael Gaddie  45:57  
remember that it's not the bride and groom's responsibility to get you home or

Sharon Rumsey  46:01  
babies or to baby set. Now. That's what I'm saying. Like, don't take away from attention and time that should be spent on them. Right for someone to deal with you. Yes. And Sharon,

Kristina Stubblefield  46:12  
I think we're talking about this guest, family, parents wedding party, like this topic that you're all talking about is across the board. You're right, though, coming out of a pandemic. Hopefully we can say that the right way. I guess. That's how I'm saying it. Maybe people haven't been out as much, or you're just happy to be around family and friends and having a good time. Just think about that. Or maybe you need to plan to stay somewhere. You know, if that's something that you're going to make a note of it. And just think that that just think like you really should just think yeah, just

Michael Gaddie  46:51  
think that that that night is about the couple Nachi make an ass of yourself.

Maggie Heely  46:56  
Oh my god. Yeah. And I again, I don't think people intend to do that. I hope to god no one's intending to do that. But like, when you're in a cocktail hour, you may or may not get a shrimp that floats by that you can grab right? Like you're not getting a stomach full, full bar for an hour and a half like that's I've seen

Kristina Stubblefield  47:10  
people who I've seen people double double fisted at events with an open bar,

Sharon Rumsey  47:15  
that I better not see a bartender do that, that

Kristina Stubblefield  47:19  
may have a splash of water sprite or something in it. And we're talking, just barreling into an event and like you're saying no, you're never gonna make it went to the charcuterie board or anything that's there at the cotton. They went straight to the bar, and

Sharon Rumsey  47:33  
I'm anxious to get Maggie's opinion on this because I've never asked you but I don't one of the things I have quit doing is I will not allow last call to be announced. Oh, yeah, I just quietly closed the bar. Because what I figured out was I've got 200 people in here that have been drinking for three, four hours. Yeah. And now I'm saying okay, guys, you've got 15 minutes to get you one more

Kristina Stubblefield  47:54  
right before you leave, and they buy a bum rush,

Maggie Heely  47:56  
ya know, so I have a different opinion. I mean, I also do not announce I didn't, because I'm a snob, and I think it's tacky.

Sharon Rumsey  48:05  
Well. My parents used to own a tavern and I can still see our big old bartender, they'll be covered in Scottsburg, Indiana, I can still see our big old bartender going last call, you know, and I totally get it. It's a lot. Yeah,

Kristina Stubblefield  48:20  
that's a really good point. I guess I hadn't thought of it and I bartended back in the day, and you are rushed. I mean, everybody wants a last drink. And to open bar they're getting ready get in their cars. Really good point.

Michael Gaddie  48:33  
I agree with you. I

Maggie Heely  48:34  
think it's tacky. And then I always trying to make sure that the bartender or the catering staff puts waters out water bottles refill thing of water. So it's like if someone comes up and they're bummed, here's a water.

Sharon Rumsey  48:45  
You know, that's another reason I love late night snack too, because you're putting some food in their belly.

Michael Gaddie  48:50  
Waffles and Dona it's something I've had a

Sharon Rumsey  48:53  
bride that had a Waffle House catering at 10 o'clock, and we did like waffle bar and hash brown bar. That's my favorite late night snack so far, but I mean, I've done all kinds.

Maggie Heely  49:02  
I can't tell you how many times I've gone to the White

Sharon Rumsey  49:04  
Castle. Yeah. And Taco Bell. My whole my cars.

Kristina Stubblefield  49:08  
My car smells. Oh, yes. Non food episode. We've said KFC, McDonald's. Taco Bell. house. Why can't we miss white cat? Okay. Five of them.

Maggie Heely  49:20  
I mean, poor local. Ones open that late, though. No local place

Kristina Stubblefield  49:25  
is doing it righteous. And if you find one, you can always let us know. Yeah, we'd love to know. This has been great. It's been so good. It's been really

Michael Gaddie  49:33  
good. You're amazing.

Maggie Heely  49:34  
Oh, well. Thanks, guys.

Sharon Rumsey  49:35  
Thank you so much for Colin,

Kristina Stubblefield  49:37  
it's fun to talk to you. And I think this is a topic as I said when we first started this. This is I don't know if people steer clear of this topic or just not discussed enough. But I think it's important. Yeah, due to all this stuff you talked about plays a big role in the day I

Sharon Rumsey  49:52  
think everything we talked about is the it's the phone calls wedding planners get from brides and grooms and they don't know how to handle it. Yeah. So

Kristina Stubblefield  50:01  
one note that I will say before we close this out, Sharon, I've heard you mentioned before, Maggie, I'm sure you've come across this. How many things happen, some of which have to do with some of the things we've mentioned here. And people never even knew happen. Oh, at their event. That's

Maggie Heely  50:18  
the idea. That's the point of us. Should Yeah.

Kristina Stubblefield  50:21  
But that's, that's what you strive for is to take care of that stuff without the

Sharon Rumsey  50:27  
Tick Tock going around. Now, my darling, that's what I do.

Kristina Stubblefield  50:32  
I hear Mike, I heard somebody wants to hear that.

Michael Gaddie  50:35  
Okay. We'll see that tomorrow.

Maggie Heely  50:38  
All right. I mean, I always talk job that if they Yeah, that if they asked me on the day of how everything's going, I'll be like, it's so perfect. And everyone's having the best time. And that's generally very true. But if you want to have coffee in two weeks, I'll tell you, I'll tell you what it isn't

Sharon Rumsey  50:51  
it funny. How many of them do I've had brides even like, from there, tell me the scoop. There. How do you mean they're like, Okay, so tell me what really happened? Yeah.

Kristina Stubblefield  50:59  
All right. We could go on and on and on. Maggie, thank you so much for coming in. And being a guest in 10. about this topic.

Sharon Rumsey  51:06  
We appreciate you so much. Yeah. Okay.

Kristina Stubblefield  51:09  
So for all of our listeners out there. Thank you so much for tuning in. We love to hear your feedback. So you can shoot us a message on social media or always go to the website and hit the contact button. And if you'd like these topics that we talked about, or you like just hearing us, Sharon,

Sharon Rumsey  51:25  
go ahead, make sure you stop and leave us a glowing five star review.

Kristina Stubblefield  51:31  
Mike, one of these days shall let you say it. So well. Okay, Maggie, thank you so much. We really appreciate it. All right. Until next time, everyone.

Thank you for tuning in this episode of The Ring The Bling And All The Things. If you liked what you heard, make sure to hit the subscribe, or follow button on your favorite podcast platform to get notified of upcoming episodes. You can also visit our website, ringblingallthethings.com where you can join our email list and get notifications about new episodes and other information. You can also follow us on your favorite social media platforms.

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Maggie Heely Profile Photo

Maggie Heely

Weekend Wedding Warriors are the logistics experts. They don’t plan your wedding for you, but they do execute it on your behalf. That way you, your family and friends aren’t stuck working and can enjoy your wedding to the fullest! So, you plan the perfect wedding, and we’ll make sure your special day runs smoothly.

Maggie Heely started Weekend Wedding Warrior in 2010, not long after her own wedding where she realized that after all her careful planning there was no one to pass the work on to on the wedding day. Maggie has a unique background. She was awarded a Masters of Science in Marriage and Family Therapy from Northwestern University’s prestigious Family Institute in Evanston, IL in 2006 and is currently a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) in the state of Kentucky. No, she won’t give you therapy at your event, but she does bring a unique crisis-management perspective and calming energy.

Maggie is a Louisville Business First 2016 40 Under 40 and was named Woman Business Owner of the Year in the Small Business category by NAWBO Louisville 2014.

She was married in 2008 to her husband who is a Major in the U.S. Army Reserves. They have a daughter, Aurora, and son, Knox.

Maggie believes you should be able to both plan your wedding and enjoy your wedding day. Let the professionals at Weekend Wedding Warrior handle the logistics of your wedding so you can focus on what’s really important…Getting Married!