Down To The Nitty Gritty - 2 to 3 Months Out

Sharon Rumsey  0:00  
If you're two to three months out from your wedding, now's the time. I mean, you're getting down to the nitty gritty of your very final major planning task.

Kristina Stubblefield  0:10  
Join us on this episode, as we are going to break down all the major items that should be completed during this time. Stay tuned. 

You got engaged. Congratulations. Happy. Yes. joyful time. Of course. Now what timelines to do lists and checklists. 100% Don't worry, you're in the right place. Welcome to The Ring The Bling And All The Things. Hi, I'm Kristina Stubblefield, one of your hosts, along with my two good friends, Michael Gaddie and and Sharon Rumsey. We have over 50 years of wedding industry experience between us. We have seen it, heard it, done it and found a way around it. We are here to get you from down on one knee to down the aisle. Our podcast will cover everything from you saying yes to the i do's and all that happens in between. So buckle up and enjoy the journey. Now let's get started with this episode.

Throughout this year, we've been making our way down through basically a timeline, I guess Sharon would be the way to say it,

Sharon Rumsey  1:38  
a checklist of your wedding checklist, your to do's, your to do's

Kristina Stubblefield  1:41  
and now we are at the two to three month episode. Gosh, we only have one more of these after this one, right?

Sharon Rumsey  1:52  
That's right. But this is kind of my favorite part of the checklist because it's literally like we're from the south, it's your meat and potatoes. It's it's literally like when most of the very important things get checked off.

Kristina Stubblefield  2:08  
So where are we going to start with this one in. And just so you know, as you're listening to the beginning of this, there's quite a few items, we're going to cover some of them how there's more to them than others. And I like how you've kind of broke it down. Some are just kind of making sure you've done what you're supposed to.

Sharon Rumsey  2:28  
You don't want to leave anything too big, too close to the wedding. Because that is going to stress out your couple, it's going to stress out your wedding planner. So yeah, this is kind of where some of the bigger things take place. And then there's also some smaller things too. I think let's start with something fun. I always like to start with a party. So one of the things you want to do about three months out, is if you're a bridal party, or if no one has approached you yet about your shower, your bachelor bachelorette parties, you want to kind of touch base with maybe your maid of honor whoever's hosting those things, and start to let them know what you would like to do and start getting a plan in place. Because it's within the next few weeks is when those things should happen about two months out.

Kristina Stubblefield  3:17  
Well, and you have some people out there that want to go all out and have big showers and parties. And then you also have others that just like you know, a couple of people together a celebration. I know some couples even do them as a couple, right?

Sharon Rumsey  3:34  
Correct. Some people do like a co what does it coed shower, and then other people like to do those separately. Yeah, another thing that we really want to make sure happens is touch up all the loose ends with clothing and accessories. So you want to touch base with the company that your bridesmaids dresses are coming from. And make sure especially nowadays with what's going on with shipping that you get a confirmation and a delivery date on those put that on your calendar so that on that date, you can touch base with all your bridesmaids and make sure that their dresses came in. It's also time to start looking at the rest of the bride's outfit. Are you going to wear a veil? If so it's time to be shopping for that. What about your jewelry? Any your shoes, any accessories you're going to wear maybe a gardener. All that stuff. Let's get that done in this two to three month out block so that we're not running around like a chicken with our head cut off close to wedding day trying to get those last minute items.

Kristina Stubblefield  4:43  
And if it's grooms or males that we're talking about, they need to fine tune is that the right word to use? They need to really finalize their pieces as well. Sharon, is that correct?

Sharon Rumsey  4:58  
Correct. And one of the main things I I see on wedding day I actually carry extra in my emergency kit. groomsmen forget to buy socks. So they'll either show up and they have no socks or they have on like athletic socks. So those kind of little things like make sure your whole outfit are they going to wear a pocket square. Another thing to really check on is make sure that all your groomsmen have got measured.

Kristina Stubblefield  5:24  
Because some could be out of town. Some have busier schedules than others and let's face it, guys tend to not be as detail oriented sometimes. They are not. They are not. Yes. In one of the other things. I think we mentioned this on a previous episode, maybe it was Mike mentioned it about some of the trends now is colored socks. Yes. Or bright colored socks or themed socks, stuff like that. So I

Sharon Rumsey  5:51  
bought a wedding a couple of weeks ago and so fun. All of the groomsmen had a dog. So there were like six of them. They all had a dog. So the bride got each groomsmen socks the same color as the bridesmaids dresses, but they had they had pictures of their individual dogs on them. And it was the cutest little gift and just pictures. Yeah,

Kristina Stubblefield  6:13  
absolutely. Okay, so now where do we go? What's the next item,

Sharon Rumsey  6:18  
I think another good thing to knock off in this like three month out period is your rehearsal dinner outfit. And maybe even like some honeymoon outfits, if you're

Kristina Stubblefield  6:30  
going to somewhere with different climates and things like that or you're going out for a nice dinner when you are out of town. Whether you're doing a staycation or out of town, you may want to have some different outfits.

Sharon Rumsey  6:42  
So I think literally like to sum it up in this three month out period, anything and everything you're going to wear. That's a good way needs to be finalized and put it together. You know, get that wedding dress out. Let's hang that bag of jewelry on it. Let's get that garter with it. They all with it. What about undergarments? I mean that's a huge thing with wedding dresses.

Kristina Stubblefield  7:05  
Now, let me ask you a question on that note, do a lot of times in your final fittings do you take those undergarments with you should yes and your shoes because you don't want to have something different under your dress and it fit differently right so hopefully, and when you've probably have done your final fitting at this point, though is final

Sharon Rumsey  7:25  
fittings or you will be doing your first fitting final fittings are usually like a week or 10 days. Of our the event I know makes me nervous too, but they aren't my goodness the main thing in a minute. Another main thing is take those shoes with you. For the present when they do that bustle. They want that bustle to be just the right length. And if you wear flats to get your bustle done, and then you wear high heels on wedding day, your muscles gonna be all jacked up. So you want to

Kristina Stubblefield  7:57  
want it all jacked up your promise, you know, you want

Sharon Rumsey  7:59  
to make sure that you have the same shoes on during your fitting that you're going to have on on wedding day. While we're

Kristina Stubblefield  8:05  
talking about shoes. I don't know if you mentioned this earlier. But don't forget about the grooves. And the groomsmen you've already mentioned about making sure they get measured.

Sharon Rumsey  8:14  
A lot of times the shoes will come with the rental. If they do great, but if not, I'm telling you if you tell six young men to go out and buy a pair of brown shoes, you're gonna be very shocked at the different variation. Yes, some are going to come in with a work boot. Some are going to come in looking like they are on the red carpet with shine. Oh,

Kristina Stubblefield  8:36  
wait to see what kind of comments we get on an episode. Yeah, Aaron. So you have

Sharon Rumsey  8:41  
to really, really like Don't be specific, even send a photo, maybe buy this pair of brown shoes in your size.

Kristina Stubblefield  8:48  
Again, a disclaimer, not everyone thinks alike. No matter who we're talking about. Everyone has different variations of colors and styles. So help them work together for Hex work together. We mentioned a while ago about your necessary fittings. But one of the next items is probably one of my favorite things that I remember. Is your trial sessions for your hair makeup.

Sharon Rumsey  9:17  
Yes, if you haven't already done um, it's definitely time. The other

Kristina Stubblefield  9:20  
thing is I know we've talked about this multiple times, it's a great time to use that for photo sessions, or a lot of times I think photographers are really encouraging couples that you do some engagement photos because they can get a sense of your personalities, your style, what you do and don't like and again, you're going to be working closely with this these photographers or this photographer you're using on your wedding day. It is a great time to use those trial runs for photos.

Sharon Rumsey  9:52  
Yes. Another huge thing in this three month out period is it's time to get those invitations together. I like for my invitations to go out 10 weeks before wedding day. So it's you know, you should have already gathered all your addresses your invitations should be in, but it's time to actually put the envelope, put the invitation in the envelope, let's get it addressed. Take it to the post office, I always recommend asking them to hand cancel a wedding invitation so that you know, it's actually been looked at and sorted correctly, rather than put through the machine. I always recommend that but you also want to take it and you want to get it weighed, to make sure that you're putting enough postage on it. So set aside some time one morning and go to the post office, weigh your invitation, see exactly how much posters it's gonna take. And then at the 10 week, Mark, let's get those in the mail.

Kristina Stubblefield  10:47  
Is that still a good, I know males taking longer it

Sharon Rumsey  10:51  
is and I've had some couples, we've pushed it out to 12.

Kristina Stubblefield  10:55  
Don't go any closer to the date than 10 weeks is what I'm hearing.

Sharon Rumsey  10:59  
It's a really fine line because the mail is taking a lot longer nowadays. But my worry is, you know, someone gets your invitation they look at it, they think oh, you know, I need to RSVP. But that's, that's four months away. So I'm going to do that in a minute. And it gets tossed in a pile of mail or it gets thrown out with an old magazine, whatever. So I think the the 10 week, Mark 12, if you're nervous is about perfect. Well, the

Kristina Stubblefield  11:25  
other thing that I think would play a factor in this is if you've sent a save the date, right? Because they're not just seeing one time some people do save the dates, some people don't do you encourage people to do them, I

Sharon Rumsey  11:38  
100% Encourage them, I used to just say, if you have a lot of people coming from out of town that have to make fight around, you know, flight reservations or hotel arrangements. But now everybody just seems so busy. I recommend them for everyone

Kristina Stubblefield  11:52  
will and you have some people that are 18 months out. Yeah. And there's a lot of weddings happening. And we've had people on here before the four or five, six of their friends are also getting married in some of them run kind of in similar circles. And I would think with the male situation with a lot of weddings happening, I can see a person be a little bit more laxed if they have sent a save the date to go with the 10 week mark. And hopefully people get them seven to eight weeks out. So

Sharon Rumsey  12:27  
I mean, if I get a save the date, it's going on my calendar, when I get the Save the date, even if it's eight months a year out, it's still going on my count

Kristina Stubblefield  12:34  
If only everyone functions like that, right? True. True. So anyway, just a little bit more advice there on that topic. So that was good.

Sharon Rumsey  12:43  
Another thing is we're talking about stationary is this is the time period where you want to start working on if you're going to do a ceremony program. If you're going to do a menu for your reception, anything like that any paper product, it's it's time to be getting that together and getting it ordered. Escort cards, place court cards now escort cards, I've kind of eased up on this a little bit, I used to want them done really early. But especially with the way things have been the last year and a half. That guest count changes, someone who says they're coming, something might happen and they might not be able to come. So I have a really good printer that I'm pretty comfortable with. And I'll say that till about two weeks out now. But I used to do it a lot earlier because I was nervous. But if you're comfortable in your printer and their turnaround time, you can do it one to two weeks out and make sure that it is your final guest list. So you're not wasting time and money having to redo things.

Kristina Stubblefield  13:48  
One of the other things that I will quickly mentioned that is on your list here has to do with insurance. And you know, recently this topics been brought up more times. Obviously event insurance is one thing, but this specific item that's on your list has to do with engagement rings, wedding bands, even maybe gifts.

Sharon Rumsey  14:10  
Yes, you want to make sure that all of that is covered. Especially your wedding band and your engagement ring. You want to make sure that your homeowners or whatever insurance you have covers that. Speaking earrings two to three months out is also the time that you want to start looking at a ring box, ring pillow, whatever is going to come down the aisle is purchased. I'm not a big fan of actually giving the rings to the ring bear. In most of my weddings. They don't really have them the best man has them. Something about just giving a very expensive ring to a very small child makes me nervous. We fake it a lot. But no matter what your decision if you want them to carry something that needs to be

Kristina Stubblefield  15:00  
Well, and now we're people putting pets in their ceremonies as well. You might not want the dog carrying down your expensive rings, not that you don't love your dog, but you just like a small child. So another thing that you have on here is about readers for the ceremony. And I guess this is the time that you want to make sure you have them confirmed that they're going to be there,

Sharon Rumsey  15:27  
not just confirm that they're going to be there, but I would provide them with a copy of what they're reading and let them start practicing. Oh, that's

Kristina Stubblefield  15:34  
a good point. Yeah,

Sharon Rumsey  15:35  
I've seen readers get handed something at rehearsal. And you know, here, this is what you're going to read. And it's never fluid, it's never smooth. Something else that I think seems kind of silly to mention, but I think it's really important is if you're going to write your own vows. Don't think that something you can wait until you know the day before your wedding to do if you want those to be meaningful. And if you want them, if you want to have a chance to really think it through and say exactly what you want to say, go ahead and start writing those vows early. Don't. Don't wait till wedding day or the night before the wedding. I have seen so many actually, I'll take this one for the boys. It's usually women that do it. It's usually the ladies that wait until the last day and they're sitting there get their makeup done, and they're trying to finish their vows,

Kristina Stubblefield  16:28  
they just add stress that is definitely not needed dress.

Sharon Rumsey  16:31  
So get that done ahead of time, if that's something that you want to do. And also shout out to my dentist, if you want to get your teeth whitened. Now's the time to start that process, about two to three months out. And actually, I didn't use to have this on here. But it is something that most of my couples do they both do it, they get their teeth whitened before their wedding.

Kristina Stubblefield  16:57  
Well, and there's so many different options with that, whether you do it at your dentist, or you do it at a teeth whitening center. I have heard that being discussed more with couples, and even in some cases, wedding parties, right, honestly, or even the parents of the couple as well. So I think that's a great item. The other thing, I guess that you need to start thinking about too is your activities, anything that needs to be scheduled or booked for your honeymoon,

Sharon Rumsey  17:24  
right? If you're going on a cruise and you want to do some excursions. I don't even know what other examples say, say you're going to Aspen and you want to book a helicopter tour or anything like that, that you want to book. Go ahead and get that booked. If you need a rental car,

Kristina Stubblefield  17:41  
sometimes now with activities and things like that, you can't book it. When you're there. You know, sometimes I think we've been used to you go somewhere and oh, now I've decided I want to go on a snorkeling or scuba diving, if that's something you do. Some places, you have to do that well in advance. So I think it's a great thing to think about ahead of time,

Sharon Rumsey  18:03  
right? Some other things, during this time period, about five to six weeks out, you want to go ahead and make sure that you have purchased something to put your cards in. You want to make sure that you have a plan for your guestbook, if that's something that you're doing. You want to go ahead and start talking to those people that are going to speak at your reception. Maybe they're going to give a toast, maybe they're going to give a welcome speech, give them a heads up, give them time to start working on that kind of stuff.

Kristina Stubblefield  18:37  
Definitely some you don't want to throw at someone the day of the event for sure.

Sharon Rumsey  18:41  
Something I encourage my couples to do and I know it's hard but so many gifts now are sent from your registry directly to your house. Very few people actually bring a wedding gift to a wedding. As those come in, go ahead and knock out that thank you note. Even if you don't mail it, go ahead and get it written get a stamp on it, put it in a pile somewhere in your house, so that you're not sitting down to do 100 of those at one time.

Kristina Stubblefield  19:06  
Great idea.

Sharon Rumsey  19:08  
You want to make sure that you're keeping up with those RSVPs as they come in, I use a planning software because I'll planner, if you don't have access to something like that an Excel spreadsheet, anything will work. But you want to make sure when you send those RSVP cards out which we said we're going to do it 10 At the bare minimum 10 weeks, you want to put a number just use a pencil and very lightly number that RSVP card as it goes out. So that if Sharon Ramsey is RSVP, number 10 and when I send it back in I forget to put my name on it on your spreadsheet, you still know who that person is. So so many people forget to put their name on the RSVP card, they just stick it in the envelope and mail it back. So you want to make sure you have a way to track that and such a good idea. I didn't think about oh, it's it's a mess, because you ended up, you end up calling people trying to figure out how to figure it out. Yeah. So just save yourself that hassle. And then as they come in, maybe put them out somewhere on your desk and take maybe one or two nights a week where you go in and you actually mark them as attending are having declined. And then the last couple of things that I would say we need to do in this time period, is you want to go ahead and have a final sight walkthrough with your venue. And if you're having an outdoor ceremony, you really, really want to make sure that you have a good plan for inclement weather Plan B, and C as my NSE. And you want to make sure that you've walked through those plans, don't just conjure them up in your head, go take a look at the space, think about where things would go. You want to make sure that you have that plan, just down pat.

Kristina Stubblefield  20:58  
On some other things, too, I would think you would want to make sure that you've spent some time having a shot list for your photographer, oh, that's huge. Even some notes or ideas, I don't wanna say ideas. Some things that you are really doing that you want to make sure your videographer captures, not necessarily a shot list. But given the heads up that you're doing something special or unique, or a first look that you want to make sure that things like that which you're always great about a timeline. Yeah. But if you're not using a planner, make sure that that photographer and videographer have an idea of things that you want. And also, I mean your song list, and I'm sure that's something that is already crossed your mind or you've had conversations about, but you really want to finalize that, that's awesome to

Sharon Rumsey  21:47  
narrow it down. Because in the episode where we talk about one month out, we're going to talk about those final vendor meetings. And these things the shot list the list for the videographer, your song selection list for your DJ or your band. Those are all things that need to be completely done before you have that final meeting with that vendor. Another thing that I really encourage you to get done in the two to three month period is all the gifts that you have to buy people, they don't plan for this in their budget. A lot of people don't think about it. But it is customary that every person in your bridal party gets a gift. It's customary that your parents each get a gift. And it's customary that the bride and the groom buy gifts for each other. Not saying you have to do that. But if it's something that you want to do, it's something that I would go ahead and check off my list, get it done, get it done and get it wrapped. I have seen so many girls literally getting ready for their rehearsal wrapping gifts. The other

Kristina Stubblefield  22:55  
thing too is I know sometimes people purchase unique gifts, sometimes firm Etsy, or online stores that are personalized. And not to keep talking about this topic. But things that you are used to being shipped and Gu and ground shipping and a week, you could be looking at longer, you might not. But if you wait to the last minute not only to order these items, you really have to allow for that shipping. Now of course anytime you can shop local and and get those kinds of gifts, absolutely, we encourage you to do so. But there are times that you turn to other people that aren't local. And like Sharon saying you don't want it to come down to the rehearsal dinner when you're trying to worry about putting that stuff together. Correct? Yeah, that's a really good tip.

Sharon Rumsey  23:47  
I think we've covered a lot of the really important things that happened two to three months out from your wedding, make sure you tune in to our episode that is one month out because we're going to bring it home,

Kristina Stubblefield  23:59  
bring it home, definitely. And if this is the first one you're catching, you can go back we have covered different timeframes. Basically for a checklist that happened just like we just done two to three months in this episode. And at any time, you can share those episodes with people that you want to make sure they listen. Or other people that are engaged are planning their special day. So Sharon, we covered a lot we did. And I really like what you said like this is the time to to really start wrapping up those items. And as Sharon mentioned that one month episode, we're gonna bring it all home. So thank you for tuning in. If you've liked what you've heard, make sure that you take time and write us a

Sharon Rumsey  24:49  
glowing five star review.

Kristina Stubblefield  24:51  
Until next time, everyone take care

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