Cracking the Code to Your Wedding: Deciphering Wedding Planner, Coordinator, & Venue Manager

Kristina Stubblefield: [00:00:00] We're back with another episode of The Ring The Bling And All The Things. It's just the two of us. 

Michael Gaddie: Can you believe it? 

Kristina Stubblefield: We'll be able to talk! No, in all honesty, we're missing Sharon. 

Michael Gaddie: Yes

Kristina Stubblefield: But perfect opportunity. I feel like to discuss this topic, we've talked about it on an episode in the past, but I know Sharon always has felt like she didn't want to seem as if she was pushing people towards using a wedding planner.

So today we're gonna be talking. Wedding planner versus Wedding Coordinator versus Venue Manager. And for those that just get engaged in, aren't in the wedding industry or don't know much about it, they may not even know that there's a very big difference. And those three titles I just said. 

Michael Gaddie: Well, when I always have couples come [00:01:00] in, I always ask them if they have a Wedding Planner, and the first biggest thing I always get is, oh yes, my venue person is the person at the venue is gonna take care of it. 

Kristina Stubblefield: My venue has a person 

Michael Gaddie: Yes, or my church has a person and that kind of thing, and I get all that's good. 

Kristina Stubblefield: Actually, that's really important that they have a lot of times will call them a venue manager. I don't know what they're specifically called at a church. Maybe more of a coordinator type. 

Michael Gaddie: Maybe it's a wedding coordinator.

Kristina Stubblefield: And let's be honest, that is a really important part from the standpoint of there's someone on site for that facility. If something was to come up, they probably know that place inside and out, and that is a bonus.

It is a bonus for that position. But I tell you, when it comes to a wedding planner, I mean that's going to help you. And I'm gonna [00:02:00] say exactly what Sharon's always says. The wedding planner is going to help you down from down on one knee to down the aisle. And actually, to be honest, I think it's a whole lot more than that.

Michael Gaddie: It's more than that. 

Kristina Stubblefield: So in our eyes, a Wedding Planner is there every step of the way as much as that couple wants them to be, maybe is the right way to say it, from going to appointments, helping make decisions with their wedding planners experience and expertise. Because that's what it comes down to is you have basically a guide that is educated, well versed, experienced, all those things. Is helping you guide you along the way with a Wedding Planner, and that's my wording, not yours. 

Michael Gaddie: Yeah when I sit down with them too and I ask them that question and when I talk to them after the wedding's over, they always [00:03:00] say, Mike, I wish I did have a Wedding Planner, because you've got to think of all vendors that you have to go to. You have to set this up, you set this up, and what I'll hear from the bride's mom is that my daughter goes to school full-time. She works full-time. She don't have time to do this. She doesn't have time to do that. But what the important part is when they come to the wedding day itself, because when you have a planner in already staged from the day one that you start planning this wedding.

Kristina Stubblefield: They know everything. 

Michael Gaddie: They know every little detail that needs to go on. 

Kristina Stubblefield: But they also know if they've got to make a decision on your behalf, they've come to know you for however many months they've worked with you, that you don't have to constantly be bothered. Not that they won't go to you if something's questionable, but they know the couple, they can help with some of those things that come up. 

Michael Gaddie: If you have a good [00:04:00] wedding planner, they should not have to call the bride the groom or the mother 

Kristina Stubblefield: or go to them the day of 

Michael Gaddie: or go to a the day because they should be able to make that decision on their own. That's the last thing. The mother and the bride, as they're getting their hair done, as they're having their makeup done, their nails done, whatever it may be, they need to enjoy that day.

Somebody else needs to make it happen and get everything done. Yes, we're all human, vendors are human. We all make mistakes. Crap happens. 

Kristina Stubblefield: Traffic can mess up a timeline. 

Michael Gaddie: There's tons of things. And to be honest with you, things are going to happen and usually if you have a good planner that you're the bride and the family is not going to know nothing about it at all. 

Kristina Stubblefield: Until the meeting, a couple weeks after your back meeting. 

Michael Gaddie: And then you can laugh about it, because let me tell you, you're not going to laugh about it that day. But if you have somebody, but going back to when I say oh when I ask somebody and then they say, oh yeah, we've got somebody to coordinate that day of,[00:05:00] that's totally different. Totally, totally different because yes, they're going to be there, the venue planner or coordinator is going to know about the venue.

But when it comes to certain details of introducing people in, how much food should be there, if the food runs out. There's so many details that no one has no clue about on what that planner is taking care of, so you don't have to worry about it. 

Kristina Stubblefield: And when I really say about being a guide, they're there to help you manage all the questions and decisions you have to, let's, let's just cut to the chase wedding planning it's a lot. And I don't mean that in a bad. That is maybe one of the most special days in your life. A lot of times people will say, I've been dreaming about this for years. I've been waiting for this day. [00:06:00] Whatever their wording is. There's a lot of pressure that goes into that. A whole lot of questions have to be answered as well as decisions made.

Overwhelming, in my opinion, might not be the right word. And again, I'm not saying any of this negatively because if you're in the wedding industry, you probably love what you do, but you do it every day, and just having that guide a lot of times can save you a lot of time, a lot of stress, but really money.

And I think that is a misconception that's out there is, I can't afford a wedding planner or, oh, I don't want to spend that because I want to spend it here. And when you really take, you survey couples that are already married, a lot of times I hear people say, their wedding planners saved them so much time, but also save them money. They were able to get something else they wanted. They wanted to have another vendor at [00:07:00] their.

Michael Gaddie: Sharon always says that she will save you the money that you pay her. 

Kristina Stubblefield: Mm-hmm, yes. 

Michael Gaddie: And I think that's excellent. But let's talk about this. Let's talk about, you've got your wedding planner that will plan the whole wedding from the time you get engaged. Then there's also a Day of Planner. I know certain planners do just day up. 

Kristina Stubblefield: Some people call it day of planning. Some people call it day of coordination. 

Michael Gaddie: Right. And the thing about those ladies or gentlemen is that they'll meet with you about six months out and plan that one day for you, and we'll be there for you just as important 

Kristina Stubblefield: Yes.

Michael Gaddie: Than having it all planned out for you because there's still somebody there to handle the problems that come up and you don't have to worry about 

And that's an important question to ask when you are evaluating wedding planner, wedding coordinator, or day of or month of and venue manager, what does that include?[00:08:00] 

Because I think you will quickly see how lengthy the list is for a Wedding Planner versus a Coordinator or Manager, and it depends on what's be the best fit for you and your event. This isn't an episode to say you should use a wedding planner with every wedding. It is your event, what we want to make sure of is people have a clear understanding. Those three jobs, titles, labels are very different. 

When it comes to church and venues, do not consider them wedding planners. Just you need to think about that right up front, because a lot of brides and moms think, oh, the church lady's going to take care. Or the venue lady's going to take care of it. 

Kristina Stubblefield: And they didn't ask, what does that mean? What does that come with? What does that mean you're going to do for me? 

Michael Gaddie: You need to nip that in the butt at the very beginning because they [00:09:00] probably do not do 90% of what you think they're going to do for you, just because. 

Kristina Stubblefield: Can you say that one more time? Can you say it a little louder for the people in the back? 

Michael Gaddie: They are probably not going to do 90% of what you think they're supposed to do because they're only worried about that 10% of that church or that 10% of renting that building. 

Kristina Stubblefield: And let me say this thing, I love the parents, the grandparents, the family, the friends that help, you love them too when they come to the appointments as well. If they've gotten married years ago, times have changed. In many things, including 

Michael Gaddie: many, many things, 

Kristina Stubblefield: Wedding planning. But with those titles over the years, things have changed. And I think sometimes people can get the wrong information from people that are trying to help. They don't mean anything bad by it, but what they used 30 years [00:10:00] ago as a Wedding Coordinator, is not the same today. And we've got that smile. Oh, he's getting ready to say something. 

Michael Gaddie: Well, it's funny because just last week I had a bride and the mom in, and the mom was all gung ho, no, we don't need a planner. We're going to do this, and we did this, and we started talking about flowers for the bridal bouquet. Okay. And she goes, she wants to have Gardenias and Stephanotis. 

Kristina Stubblefield: Now, Mike, I'm going to be honest with you. 

Michael Gaddie: You probably don't know. 

Kristina Stubblefield: We need to put a picture of those up on the screen. Are those flowers that go in the bouquet? 

Michael Gaddie: Those are flowers that go in the bouquet. But that's something that we did 30 years ago. 

Kristina Stubblefield: Oh!!! 

Michael Gaddie: And the mom. 

Kristina Stubblefield: That's why I don't know what that is. 

Michael Gaddie: The bride turns around and looks at mom and goes, mom, what is that? So I did, I pulled up my little handbook and showed her. But I mean, the thing about it is.

Kristina Stubblefield: And the bride did not. 

Michael Gaddie: The bride did not want nothing to do with that. Nothing! 

Kristina Stubblefield: But that terminology and that style. 

Michael Gaddie: That's what the mom wanted. And that's going back to the same thing is things are not the [00:11:00] same than they were when mom got married.

Kristina Stubblefield: I can summarize this episode. Don't assume. 

Michael Gaddie: Don't assume, 

Kristina Stubblefield: Don't assume anything in life, in wedding planning, in marriage 

Michael Gaddie: And another thing is with a planner. I don't think we've ever used this before, but it's almost like a counselor. A counselor that helps you through day-to-day planning that year. 

Kristina Stubblefield: Navigating the journey of wedding planning.

Michael Gaddie: Yes. 

Kristina Stubblefield: There's a lot of steps along the way, and I don't say this to turn people off about, oh gosh, I don't know if I want to have a big wedding. I want people to be able to enjoy the process. It's your day. Be part of the decisions and really embrace it. But sometimes I talk to couples, they are so stressed out.

You talk to more than I do and the day of, gosh, the day of the wedding, I've seen people, the day's over, they don't remember anything.[00:12:00] They've been hit with so many question. They can't even eat their plate of food because they're trying to make decisions on if they should take photos or not.

And this isn't me picking on any type of vendor, but people don't know what they don't know. And engaged couples don't know how that day's going to unfold. All we can speak to them from is experience and what we've seen. 

Michael Gaddie: I think the one thing that sticks in my mind the most is working with couples and parents, you know, we're finalizing things and usually it's three weeks before, but even at three weeks. At three weeks before the bride is so overwhelmed, when it comes down to the nitty gritty of the details of it 

Kristina Stubblefield: That's fine. Yeah, that's good. 

Michael Gaddie: She doesn't really care. No, because she's over it. 

Kristina Stubblefield: Mm-hmm. She's made how many decisions? 

Michael Gaddie: She's made a million decisions and she's done with it, and she just wants it to be over. That's not the attitude you should have three [00:13:00] weeks before, or two weeks, or one week before your wedding. But it's because the right decisions were not made when you got engaged. You need to think about what's more important to get you through this year or six months or however long it's taking you to get down the aisle, hire a planner because they're going to take that stress off of you.

And if you need somebody to talk to, guess who's going to be there. And I only know that because working with Sharon over and over and over, Sharon counsels these brides. 

Kristina Stubblefield: And it's not that they're necessarily gonna be at your beck and call because let's not give them all aggression. 

Michael Gaddie: Exactly. 

Kristina Stubblefield: But you have access to someone, whether it be Sharon as a wedding planner 

Michael Gaddie: or who, whoever 

Kristina Stubblefield: There's great wedding planners out there because we have people that listen to us from all over.

You can email them, and everybody has different boundaries, whether you call, text, email, and I don't want to speak on behalf of all of the wedding planners out there because you need to [00:14:00] follow the guidelines. But the point is someone is there with educated answers, help, guidance. And you're right about the counseling.

And I feel really comfortable saying this and I don't know that I would've a couple years ago. I would highly suggest that you at least have a day of coordinator, day of planner, whatever lingo that you want to go with.

I feel really comfortable saying this now and I don't know that I would've a couple years ago, but doing what we've done with the podcast, getting to talk to more wedding professionals and engaged couples and the feedback and everything. I highly suggest engaged couples at least have a day of coordinator, and I say that hesitantly just because there's so many different wordings or titles used for day [00:15:00] of coordinator, someone to help manage that day, execute your vision, handle the logistics.

So you can be present and take it in, and you have more experience. You've been doing this way longer, and I know you hear other feedback from people too. 

Michael Gaddie: It's just so important, like you said, to enjoy the day because you're not going to be able to do a redo. Like you said, you're not going to go push rewind and redo it.

Kristina Stubblefield: There's no do over 

Michael Gaddie: There's no do overs, so I would highly, I agree with you 100%. And to be honest with you if couples that are listening to us now that, that have already been through this procedure, let us know. Tell us how you feel. Did you have a planner? Did you not have a planner? This is our experience, you know what you should do. 

Kristina Stubblefield: You've gotten feedback from couples. You get referrals, someone gets married and they're bridesmaids, they [00:16:00] come to you for their wedding. And you hear from people. 

Michael Gaddie: I hear from let's hear all the time. And that's the thing, just like I said earlier. A bridesmaid will come in and say, well, Lisa got married last year and she had to deal with this and this and this, and I do not want to have to deal with that, for example if somebody comes in and says, oh, well, we'll pick our flowers up and then we'll set them all up.

I'm not dealing with that, I hear that a lot. I don't want to take the time to do that, I'll pay you to do it. And that's important because again, something else taken away from your day that you don't have to have. You can't have your nails done, your makeup done, your hair done. You need to be pampered and that's what you need.

Kristina Stubblefield: And I think, I don't know if it was on this episode or not, but I know you've even heard from clients after they've gotten married, that they wish they would've had someone to help them throughout the planning process, but also the day of be there, because it was so overwhelming and there [00:17:00] were so many different things happening then they were trying to get ready, they were trying to do their pictures and once you've been through the experience, and that's why you said we love feedback from our listeners. We have people that listen to us that have already married. They think we're funny or they think we're interesting, I don't know why, but we want to hear from you. Did you use a planner? Did you use a month of, did you use a coordinator? We want to hear what your experiences are, we don't have to say who you are, but that allows us to share with every everyone else.

Michael Gaddie: But that indicates us too. 

Kristina Stubblefield: Yes 

Michael Gaddie: I would love to hear your feedback because we hear things every day, and especially for our listeners, if our listeners feed feedback to us, then we're going to learn from it too. 

Kristina Stubblefield: And we've always been about being a resource, education because when people get engaged, their mother, they're family member, it may have been 20, 30, 40 years ago since there's been a wedding in [00:18:00] the family and times change. So that was the big thing with The Ring The Bling And All The Things, especially the podcast, is getting the information out from real world experience from wedding professionals. That's why we also have guests on here to dive in more to their expertise.

So we want to hear your feedback. Sharon's not here with us today. What's her favorite thing? Let me do this. If you're listening to us on your favorite podcast platform, thank you. Don't forget, we put all of these videos up on our YouTube channel. Go and click the subscribe button. And Mike, when does Sharon always tell everybody? 

Michael Gaddie: Please leave us a glowing five star review. 

Kristina Stubblefield: Yay. And for our listen. He said it the right way this time. All right, everybody take care.